Complex [ Poems ]

Chapter 8

I want to die.

Worthless,
Useless,
Unimportant.

I just want to die.

This dark thought continued to plague my mind,
Appearing like a whirlpool,
Never ending like the horizon,
Full of loop like times.

I weep at my own inferiority,
I smiled; mocking myself derisively,
I stared at the empty shell that is me in my own reflection,
An innocent and naive thought that I held onto dearly crashed,
As if it is worthless all along.

I want to cry but couldn't,
I want to confess but shouldn't,
I want to trust but wouldn't,
Useless, worthless, nothing will happen.

This endless whirlpool,
I want them to end.

I reap what I sow.

I want everything to end.

But life is a shackle for me to die.

How I wish I won't drag everyone down,
But as my body rot and my mind full of despair,
Shouldn't they be the one who would be troubled?

Let me go missing,
With this whirlpool I'm bringing along,
And my empty shell dropped down the abyss,
As my soul shall be trapped,
In this endless world full of despair.

I knew too early of the real world,
I faced the full brunt of the obstacles that I need to face,
My mind is not ready for the world.

And should I live like a loser in the future, at least let me live the remaining of my life with dignity.