Love Under Contract | cb

4 | Not Tonight

"I'm staring at him
But I forget to pick my face up off the floor
We're in a crowd, but it feels like we're alone
Oh my god he just looked at me
And I just wanna tell him something that he's never heard
But my lips won't let me tell him
I would say this but
Maybe, maybe in another life
I could be the girl who walks up to the guy
And tells him, tells him how she feels inside
But, not tonight, no not tonight
What if he walks towards me
While all the blood is rushing right to my brain
What am I gonna say, what am I gonna say
I may stop breathing and freeze 'cause
That's the story of my life
Wouldn't it be crazy
If he felt, how I felt, overwhelmed and terrified"
- Elle Varner

Bailey |

"It's basically like that one show, Married At First Sight. You ever watched it, Bailey?" Jade asked while spinning around in the floatie she's on. The girls and I all decided to come enjoy the sun in the pool while the guys are seeing Jerrell's father off. He'll be back with his wife and the rest of his people at the end of the summer when Jerrell and I have our official marriage announcement and housewarming celebration.

"No. It sounds interesting though."

"It is, but your situation is obviously way different. You guys aren't doing this for love, it's for business." Essence spoke while floating on her back.

"It's still a marriage though. You can't expect to be all business with someone twenty four seven when you're married to them." Camille added in.

"That's true. Are you expecting more out of this marriage, Bailey?" I drummed my fingers on the side of the pool while letting my feet sway in the water. I've been trying to answer that question for myself for the past few days now.

"I mean, this definitely isn't how I imagined myself getting married would go. I'm going into this fully open and transparent. I hope to grow a connection with Jerrell. Something that's deeper than just business. He's who I'll be spending the rest of my life with, but I've also been preparing myself for if it goes the other way."

"You're such a hopeless romantic. I love it! My cousin would want to treat you right." I smiled at Essence and drunk some more of my mimosa that Jade made for us.

"Boo! This shit look boring." I looked back, quickly matching the voice to LJ. I rolled my eyes and leaned back onto my elbows.

"This can't be y'all idea of a pool party." I heard Jerrell say as the sound of Ella Mai's voice was cut short and replaced by Lil Wayne. I knew it was Jerrell that did it. He's always complaining about my music being too soft. He's already created two playlists onto my Spotify account.

"Bailey, where the hard liquor at? Y'all out here off this rich wine." Tone called out.

"Check the kitchen inside the pool house." I looked over at Camille, watching as her eyes followed LJ as he went into the pool house behind Tone.

"Cam?" She looked over at me and started laughing when she seen the look on my face.

"What? He's fine!"

"My brother? Ew." Essence fake gagged while sipping on her drink.

"Yes, your brother is fine as hell." Cam retorted while sticking out her tongue. I laughed at the two while downing the rest of my mimosa. By now the guys were walking out of the pool house with a couple bottles of alcohol.

"Bay? This grill is gas right?" Jerrell called out, using the nickname he officially gave me the other day. We've grown closer during the past three days that we've been sharing a room. We haven't done anything sexually or anything remotely close to it. We haven't even kissed yet, even though I've been thinking about it a lot. It's just that I'm an early riser and he's a light sleeper, so we spend close to an hour in bed every morning just talking.