𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 ❧ remus lupin

XIV. Realizations in the Library Corner

"It's not enough to reach for love if I'm not willing enough to give it."

Juliet's POV

"Hey, Jules," Remus said to me as I sat down to him, looking up from his book and at me instead.

"I have a feeling I know what you want to talk about," I said, assuming that he was going to ask if I was alright after acting so weird the other day.

"Oh, um, you do?" he said, his cheeks turning red in the process. The once confident looking Remus looked as nervous as ever, looking down at his feet while simultaneously rubbing his neck with his hands. I don't think I've ever seen him more nervous.

"You were going to talk to me about how I was acting weird yesterday, in the library, right?" I asked, trying to confirm what I thought he was going to say.

"Oh, um, yeah," he said, seeming confused. He hesitated for a moment, but then said, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and everything."

"I don't really know if I am."

"What do you mean?"

"It's weird, I don't know how to explain it." I paused. "I was so happy for the longest time, and back in the library the other day, it just all went away at once. As if all of my happiness and certainty was replaced with confusion and worry."

I thought that maybe Remus of all people would understand me, given what he's gone through since he was bitten by Fenrir at age five. But he looked at me with a blank face and didn't say anything for a good moment. And then with no warning at all, I was like a balloon again. One more ounce of confusion and I felt like I would explode and spiral out of control. Pretty soon, I felt tears building up in my eyes, and that's when Remus spoke.

"Hey, hey Jules I'm here for you," he said. Then, Remus placed this hand on my shoulder, and we gave each other a hug. It felt so nice to know that someone else was there for me, especially Remus since we have gone through so much recently.

We soon ended our hug, and I wiped the one tear that had fallen from my cheek from the stress. I sniffled and wiped my nose, and had somewhat contained myself for the moment. Meanwhile, Remus had picked up the same book in which he was reading before. He asked me, "What was it that you think caused you to feel all of this worry and confusion? Maybe if we figure it out, I can help you fix it."

"I really have no idea," I said, "but I know that it began right as you read that passage yesterday in the library, the one on the Unforgivable Curses."

"I have the book for it right here," Remus replied, showing me the book that we had received for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and pointing to the same passage in which I started freaking out yesterday. The same funky feeling raced through my veins, and the feeling pulsed as soon as Remus became to read it aloud. He said, "The Imperius Curse is one of the three Unforgivable Curses. It gives the caster complete control over their victim, placing them in a dream-like state of calmness. The victim does anything and everything that the caster wants them to do, but in some cases, the curse can be resisted. The Imperius Curse is different than the others in which it can be defended against, only if the victim is strong enough to overcome the caster's wants. One of the first signs of resisting the Imperius Curse is when the victim knows and recognizes that they are under its effects," exactly the same thing that he had said the day before.

The same confusion and worry grew stronger just after reading those words, and I began to work up a sweat. My heart rate increased, and I began to breath heavier and heavier.

"Jules! What's wrong?"

"It's that bloody passage! It's making me feel so worried and anxious! It's like I'm not supposed to know about the Imperius Curse or something. I'm so confused!" I nearly shouted.

"About the Imperius Curse?" Remus questioned, seeming confused about why I was having such a terrible reaction to facts about that unforgivable curse. "Of all things, why the Imperius Curse?" he asked himself again, my reply being a shrugged shoulder and continuous heavy breathing.

As I was having a difficult time taking everything in, the smart Remus sitting next to me immediately dug through the book, rifling through the pages, clearing looking for something. "No, it can't be..." he whispered to himself, also mumbling a series of words in which he was reading. All I could do was sit back and let him look for whatever it was he was looking for. I was still beyond confused.

Suddenly Remus came to a certain page and ran his fingers across a paragraph, looking like he had gears ticking inside his brain and an idea lightbulb floating over his head. He was extremely smart after all, I just wish I knew what he was digging for.

"Remus, what are you--" I started, but he cut me off.

"Jules, tell me, before you started feeling confused and anxious, were you feeling very happy and calm?"

"Yes, why?"

"And when you started feeling confused and anxious, did it all happen at once?"

"Yes, Remus, why are you asking me this?"

"Did something in particular trigger you to feel this way?"

"I already told you, it was the passage about the Imperius Curse..."

"And also, Jules, have you not been feeling like yourself lately?"

"I mean I guess so, I just feel so confused." Remus looked at me and contemplated. Merlins Beard, I felt like I was with a therapist, or at a doctor's office being asking about symptoms.

Remus took a sigh and began reading from the passage in which he had silently read so intently a couple minutes prior. "One of the first signs of resisting the Imperius Curse is when the victim knows and recognizes that they are under its effects. Something (varying from victim to victim) will then trigger them, and their blissfull-like state will halt and they'll become very conflicted. They won't act like themselves during this entire process. Though it is rare and takes great strength of power, someone under the curse's effects can resist the caster's wants, even though it's extremely difficult." Remus finished, and he shook. I sat next to him with a blank face, now realizing everything; it had clicked inside of me. And for the first time since the last full moon, I had finally realized what was happening to me. I had finally remembered what Fenrir did to me and how he kidnapped my mother, and how I was under his control. But I knew that at this moment, my power and strength was so incredibly low. How could I ever stop myself from doing the terrible things that Fenrir wanted me to do?

Word Count: 1194

a/n: remus was totally gonna tell juliet he likes her but didn't lol, also dang i need a mans like remus who goes out of his way to help her