I Have To Love Myself First | KiriBaku

[1] Would It Be Weird If I Liked You?

The sun shone brightly, illuminating every inch of Masutafu. Kirishima and Bakugo walked alongside each other as usual on their way to school. There was a comfortable silence between the two, but Kirishima had something on the tip of his tongue. Lately, there had been something he's really wanted to say to Bakugo, but could never find the right time. He figured he could say it now; It was just the two of them alone and no one was there to see him if he got rejected. But, even though Kirishima thought it was the perfect time, he didn't know how to word it.

The red head was the worst at direct confrontation, so something like this was hard for him. Just then, a metaphorical light bulb flashed above his spiked hair. What if he hinted at his feelings in the form of a question? That would for sure work! Kirishima took in a deep breath and slowed down his walking speed, indicating that he wanted to talk to Bakugo.

"Would it be weird if I like...liked you? I mean I'm not saying I do just like- hypothetically if I did...would it be weird?" He asked, nervously chuckling after his sentence, awkwardly doing fingers guns...damn he hated his himself so much. Bakugo came to a halt, furrowing his eyebrows "Yeah it fucking would, shitty hair. Plus, I don't swing that way." He scoffed, lying straight through his clenched teeth.

Bakugos sexuality was a sensitive topic that he hated talking about. Know one knew that he was gay, and he liked to keep it like that, not even Kirishima who was his bestfriend was an exception. Having said that, he really did like kirishima, but he doubted his feelings would ever be reciprocated. Kirishima always asked him weird, stupid questions, so he just figured this was one of them.

"Oh... good to know." Kirishima cleared his throat as he felt a sharp pain in his heart, even coming from someone like Bakugo, that was a bit harsh. Kirishima started to walk faster, and bakugo followed after him. "Oi shitty hair, can you like, fucking slow down?" Bakugo scoffed, but the red head didn't comply. Kirishima walked faster, and faster and he bolted down the side walk, running away from the blonde; His legs started moving on their own, he didnt want to run away, but he couldn't help it. "Hey! Shitty hair, I'm not in the fucking mood to race right now, even though I'd win anyway." Bakugo growled, assuming kirishima was challenging him to a race, something that was a common occurrence. Despite his words, Bakugo chased after Kirishima.

Kirishimas legs pounded against the concrete, screaming at him to stop. As soon as the gates of UA came into view, he slowed down. Quickly as possible, he scanned his ID for entrance, fumbling a bit. Doing a light jog to class, he figured Bakugo wasn't near school yet. He lugged himself into class 1-A, plopping down into his seat. He kept his head down on the po surface of his desk, dreading to see Bakugo. He felt like a coward, and really un-manly.

Kirishimas assumptions were wrong, Bakugo was near the school, barely behind the oblivious red head. The blonde quickly went through the gates, running at a dwindling speed to class. Once he reached the door to their homeroom, he opened it, putting on his mask of perpetual annoyance, remembering the stupid extras would enter the room soon. He still thought that kirishima running off was one of their many morning races, but he realized that the read head 'won' and he didn't say anything to hurt his enormously huge pride. Bakugo sat down at his desk with a loud thud, earning a flinch from kirishima. Kirishima hesitantly lifted his head to see who entered the classroom-- it was Bakugo, the one person he didn't want to see right now. He put his head back down, fear swimming through his veins. Bakugo noticed how strange Kirishima was acting and walked over to the other boys' desk, uncharacteristically wondering if something was bothering him. "Hey, shitty hair." Bakugo slightly raised his voice, hoping to grab the attention of kirishima.

His hands shook lightly and his knees felt weak. He was scared of what Bakugo would say. I shouldn't be worrying..he's my best friend, right? Maybe I'm just over thinking everything. Kirishima sighed, still not responding. Bakugos' loud and harsh voice caught the the other off guard. "Shitty hair?!" He raised his voice. Kirishima kept his head down, but turned into the slide to hesitantly look at the blonde. "...yeah..?". "The fuck are you sulking for?" Bakugo asked, which was weird since he's not the type of person to usually care.

A wavered sigh slipped through Kirishimas' lips, releasing some unknown tension within his body. "Oh- I'm not sad or anything" He replied, lieing "I'm just tired 's all..." He weakly smiled, knowing Bakugo wasn't very good at reading people, which he took advantage of; He wasn't very proud of that. That was something he always did when Bakugo rarely worried. Apparently it worked, the almost unnoticeable lines of worry faded from Bakugos face, a snarl replacing it's spot. "Maybe you should get better sleep then, shitty hair. It's not that hard..tch." he scoffed, walking back to his seat. Kirishima took in a deep breath... today was going to be a long day.

~Time Skip brought to you by my sleep deprivation~

Kirishima sluggishly dragged himself to the cafeteria doors. Raising his hand and pressing softly against the surface, he hesitantly opened the door. He didn't want to eat, especially with his friends today-- and he would most likely get bombarded with questions for that-- but he just couldn't. Sitting at a table in the fairly abandoned corner, he put his head down, not wanting to be there. His stomach growled in protest for food, loudly. It'd been a few seemingly long days since kirishima had eaten anything. If it wasn't obvious, the seemingly confident teen had been starving himself.

His friends of course have been worried and constantly asked him questions, but he pushed them away, which isn't very smart of him. He figured they would catch on sooner or later if he kept pushing them away every time, and never ate lunch or was 'never hungry', so he decided to just sit alone away from everybody else. Like the great friends they are, they invited him multiple times to sit and even force him across the cafeteria back at the table, but Kirishima was surprisingly very stubborn.

The reasons for kirishima starving himself are well-- sort of complicated. At first he had wanted to lose a few pounds. As time went on, the numbers on the scale dropping were addictive, more than one would think. Kirishima had even started measuring parts of his body such as his arms, thighs and waist. He was addicted. Kirishima was addicted to the numbers dropping, the measurements becoming smaller, seeing changes in his body and even the pain that hunger gave him. For the first time in a while, the hero in training had total control over something.

It was too late before he realized how far he had gone. He realized how big of a problem he had gotten himself into when one time he had passed out from getting up too fast. But that didn't stop him.

Kirishima didn't care about being "fat" in the beginning. But he soon found himself getting disappointed when he his body didn't change or he didn't lose weight. The thought of gaining even .5 of a pound scared him. And whenever his stomach wasn't empty, he absolutely hated it and wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole until it was over.

Kirishima recently began hiding his perishing body with baggy clothes and oversized jackets, which was working; The red head couldn't let anyone one know, they couldn't take away the one thing has control of.

He felt a sudden presence next to him, he looked up to see Bakugo.

A/N This is my first ever book so don't bite me in the ass-- yeet. oof.

Words: 1372
Edited