Another Cliché Love Story // S. Rogers & B. Barnes

five

Bucky

Bucky was frozen. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Time had halted in its place as he stared at the unmoving boy in front of him.

He blinked, and the world resumed. He stared at Steve, who stared back.

Bucky swallowed thickly before speaking. "I...I what?" His voice was small, thin, and hoarse.

"You moaned my name," Steve repeated, and Bucky felt himself fill up with embarrassment yet again.

Well, guess this whole summer trying to stuff that damned crush down to the depths of hell was wasted, wasn't it?

Bucky felt like he was gonna be sick again. No, he was going to be sick.

But there was no way in hell he would be doing it in front of Steve.

He slid his eyes to the ground and brought a hand to his mouth, holding back the tears and the inevitable vomit as he shoved past Steve and ran out of the locker rooms. He didn't wait for the door to close before locating the first trash can he found and lurching forward, gripping it with white knuckles.

Bucky slumped down against the trash can, crying and vomiting until finally, someone found him. Someone with a feminine touch, small hands, and soothing words.

Once he was done, he turned and sat against the wall, breath reeking of vomit and cheeks stained with tears. The ball in his throat was back again, and he didn't have enough strength to shove it back down.

Tasha sat next to him, her gaze worried as she stared at him, not touching him too much but touching him just enough that he felt safe.

He always felt safe in Tasha's presence.

"I hallucinated, Tash." He started, his voice rough and scratchy and strained. He coughed, and that cough turned into a sharp laugh that startled his best friend.

"Well, actually, I threw up first, because Steve had seen my scars." Tasha tensed, her fingers pausing their gentle drawing on his arm before resuming. Her eyes had dropped to Bucky's abdomen, where she knew his past marked him more than anyone else's. "Then I started hallucinating. I imagined Steve in the bathroom with me, touching me...kissing me..." he dropped his head into his hands and Tasha scooted closer, putting her arm around him and squeezing.

"I...I thought it was real, Tash. I thought it was real and then he moved away from me and I felt so hurt and rejected and then the real Steve shook me awake and I realized I was hallucinating and then he told me that...that I moaned his name. I fucking moaned his name in front of him. God, Tash. How do you fuck up that badly?" It was a rhetorical question, but Tasha still answered:

"The heart wants what it wants, my man. The heart wants what it wants."

~~~

Omniscient

Tasha took Bucky home, demanded him to bed, and sat on the computer looking up his symptoms (because Google has all the answers). She came back into his room two hours later and laid two Advil next to a large glass of water.

Bucky was asleep.

Tasha watched a movie, did two loads of laundry, the dishes, and spent an hour scrolling through the nearest animal shelter before she checked in on him again.

Bucky was asleep.

She called up all their friends, told everyone he was fine, went to the store and bought five tubs of cookie dough ice cream, made dinner for herself and stuck the rest in the fridge for Bucky, and then went to check on him.

Bucky was still asleep.

She sat on the bed next to him and frowned, staring at her best friend. He never got this much sleep at a time–it was usually four, maybe five hours a night, sometimes a week if it was really bad.

He wasn't able to sleep because of his nightmares. He tells her they started when he was around eleven, a year after his father had hit him for the first time. He never told her exactly what they were about, but she knew not to ask.

Before they died, her parents had installed a soundproof room in their house. It was originally for Natasha to practice the drums, but she grew out of that quickly, turning to Muay Thai as an outlet for her anger instead.

Now, that room was where Bucky slept, so he could play video games or watch movies during the night and not wake Tasha up.

That's what she tells herself, but he knows it's so she won't hear his screams.

Tasha felt bad for a moment, before she scolded herself. Bucky hates pity.

She sucked in a breath, patted Bucky's leg, and walked out of his room, closing the door behind her. Tasha slid down against the white door, tucking her knees under her chin.

"Oh, Bucky...what am I going to do with you?" She sighed and closed her eyes, thinking about earlier today when she told him 'the heart wants what it wants'. She'd cringed at his response.

"My heart can't want a straight guy who has a girlfriend, and who hasn't even looked at me until this year." She could hear the doubt behind his voice, but chose not to speak on it and just shrugged again. She didn't want to hurt him more by continuing this conversation when he was already so low, so instead she stood up, brushed herself off, and tugged her best friend to his feet before hugging him tightly and bringing him home.

Tasha had just started to drift off against the door when suddenly she heard a loud scream that jolted her awake and to her feet. She ripped open the door and ran to Bucky, who was thrashing around in the bed, whimpering and grunting through his clenched jaw. She placed her hands on him, shushing him and rubbing his arm until he calmed down enough to open his eyes, now fully awake.

He was still in his gym uniform, sweating and staining the gray shirt even more than it already was. The covers were twisted around his body, trapping him in the heat. Tears stained his cheeks, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly.

Tasha smiled sadly down at him and he sighed, sending that same tear-filled, knowing smile back up at her. She patted his arm, leaned down to press a kiss to his sweaty forehead, and disappeared down the hall for a moment. She came back holding three DVD cases.

She held them up in front of Bucky, who had pushed himself up and was now sitting against the headboard.

"UP, Dumbo, or Frozen?" She held up the three said Disney movies, and Bucky scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You really want me to cry, don't you?" He accused, and Tasha only shrugged. "Fine...Dumbo. Elephants are my weakness," he opted, and Tasha grinned, throwing him the case before sprinting downstairs. She threw open the freezer, snatched a tub of ice cream and two spoons, and ran back upstairs where Bucky had already made room for her on the bed.

Tasha flicked the light off, shoved a large bite of ice cream into her mouth, and forgot about Bucky's problems, about his situation with Steve, and about what she knew was bound to happen but didn't know how to say it. She forgot about her own problems, too.

And they just sat there together, focused on the movie, neither one worried about what was going to happen tomorrow.