You're beautiful to me (Frerard)

chapter four: i dont do so well on my own

Title : seven minutes in heaven - FOB
Gerard's p.o.v

He tried to kill himself. The plastic seat I'm sitting on digs into my spine as I sit with my head in my hands. He could be dead right now. What if I hadn't walked there when I did. If id stayed home instead. Or talked to Mikey for longer. What would happen to Frank. Frank was his name I discovered. His mother had arrived and was sobbing hysterically in the seat across from me. I'm not sure wether or not to introduce myself. I still have her sons blood on my sleeves. I pull my jacket down as far as it will go I'm an attempt to cover it. Her cries are deep and painful and I can't help but watch her. It's heart breaking. In a moment of madness I stand up and sit down next to her.

"I'm really sorry about Frank. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through." I say to here, keeping my voice low.

She looks up at me, the surprise momenterally halting her cries. She then smiles at me softly, grabbing my hands in her shaking ones.

"Thank you. Thank you for finding him. If it wasn't for you I don't know.... I don't know what would've happened to..." Her eyes welled up and she began to cry again. All I could do was hold her hands and sit with her. I began to feel my own eyes water and I begin crying with her. We sit like that for what feels like hours. Crying with each other.

"Mrs Iero?"

We both look up abruptly to see a doctor scanning the waiting room.

"Yes, yes that's me." She says, standing up. I stand up with her desperate to hear any news about Frank. The doctor looks at me sceptically but Mrs Iero nods and smiles at me.

"Right, well we've got him stable. He's unconscious at the moment and lost a lot of blood, but he should recover fine." She says, smiling at us gingerly. I feel Mrs Iero release a deep breath and I know I'm doing the same. He's okay. Franks going to be okay.

"Would you like to see him?" The doctor asks. We both nod and she leads us down a corridor. As we're walking Mrs Iero turns to me.

"I still don't know your name hun." She says to me.

"Gerard. My names Gerard." I say, finding my voice.

"Well Gerard', my names Linda. It's lovely to meet you, if only the circumstances could've been different." She says, smiling up at me. I nod In agreement and keep my eyes trained to the floor. His mother was such a lovely lady. But where's his dad? Shouldn't he be with her at a time like this? The doctor stopped outside a room and nodded for us to go through.

"Do you want to be alone with him for a while?" I ask Linda. She gives me a gradual nod and clasps my hands in hers.

"Thank you. I'm glad Frank has a friend like you." With that, she walks into the room to see her son. Friend? Was I franks friend? I'm not sure. I sure as hell wanted to be, but friends isn't something I'm used to. What if he doesn't even like me. We really haven't talked that much, and the times we have have been in some weird situations. I ran my hands though my hair as my leg bounces off of the plastic on the chair.

"Do you want to come in?" Mrs Iero says, poking her head around the door to look at me.

I nod and stand up, running my sweaty hands down my trousers. I was so nervous. The last time I saw him he looked so... dead. I take a deep breath and walk into the room. I gasp when I see him. He looked so pale, the rings around his eyes dark and looming. His cheek bones and jaw were ridiculous prominent, poking through his skin. He had tubes coming out of his arms but most of his arms were covered in bandages. I'm taken back to when I found him, how deep the cuts were....all the blood.

"You can sit with him, I'll go get us some coffee." Mrs Iero says, god I love this women.

I nod and sit next to frank. I sit in silence for a while, not sure what to do with myself. I find myself staring at his hand. Without thinking I reach out and grab it in my own. I find myself running circles on the back of it while I spoke to him.

"You scared me. You scared the shit out of me frank. I didn't think you were going to do that. I knew you were struggling from when I found you in the bathroom, but I didn't know it was this bad. If I'd known... I would've done something... anything. I'm sorry frank. I was scared. I promise I'll look out for you from now on." I say, not daring to look him in the eyes.

"Maybe we can look after each other."

I look up and see frank staring down at me. He squeezes my hand and and smiles at me. I can't help but smile back. I can tastes the tears streaming down my face, but I don't care. He's alive.

"Gerard, I wasn't sure how you liked it so I just made it black, you can always add.... Frank!" She cries, putting down the coffee and running to his other side. "Frank oh my frank." She cries sobbing into his hand that she held in hers.

"I know mum, I'm sorry." Frank says, crying with her now. I give his hand a squeeze and I stand up, not wanting to ruin the moment between them. I walked out of the room and leant my head against the wall. I was terrified. I knew he would be okay but why did I care so much. I barely know the boy and I'm delivering soppy speeches about my feelings. God I'm so stupid, he probably thinks I'm such a creep.

"Are you alright son?" The doctor say, walking over to me.

"Yeah... yeah sorry fine." I say, my voice barley choking out the words.

"Listen, we know you found the body, and that must've been... a lot. So we're going to sign you up to see the therapist here at the hospital."

Therapist? I don't need a therapist. I'm fine!

The doctor sees my reluctance and continues speaking.

"Look you only have to go once, if you hate it then you don't need to go. But we just think it might help."

I nod at her, just desperate to get out of the situation.

"Okay good, we will organise a time soon." She smiles, walking into franks room. Therapy. I'd never been to therapy before. But I don't need it. I'm fine. I'm totally fine.