You're beautiful to me (Frerard)

chapter eight: we're all sitting in the waiting room (MR STUMP?)

Title - church : fall out boy
Frank's P.O.V.

I've never seen someone so... So broken. The way he was clawing at himself and the way he spoke and the way he rocked and... It was terrifying. I had no idea what to do. I've had panic attacks before but I've never had to help someone else through them. God I felt so useless. I hope Gee's feeling better now. I doubt it though.  We've got school.

My mum closes the door and I turn back to Gerard. He's staring at our intertwined fingers in his lap and I can't help but grin as I look at them too. I can tell that neither of us want to break the moment. I'm scared that if I move I'll never get the chance to feel this way again. I've never been so captivated by someone in my life. I look up into his eyes and see his are already staring in mine. We hold eye contact for a minute before my eyes flick to the clock.

"Shit gee it's almost 8!" I say, standing up, losing his hand in the process. I can already feel my palm getting cold and I long to hold his in mine again. But we can't.

"Ah fuck... I should probably go home." He says, standing up and looking around, not quite sure what to do with himself.

"Shall I meet you outside in ten minutes?" I ask, starting to get out my bag.

"Yeah okay." He replies. I watch gerard out of the corner of my eye as he starts to walk away. I see him stop and turn to me.

"Listen Frank I'm sor-... Thank you. I mean it." He says. I look up at him and his eyes hold such pain I almost cry for him. Instead I just nod at him and smile gingerly. He smiles at me before walking out of my room. I hear him say good bye to my mum and the door slam. As it does I let out a deep breath. I lean my head against the window, the cold soothing my red face.

I really liked holding Gerard's hand. That's all I can think about. I reach down and press my thumb into my palm smiling, remembering the moment. Fuck. I really like Gerard.

I shake my head and hurry to get ready for school. I run out of my room and to the door.

"Bye mum!" I yell, running through the kitchen.

"Wait! Take this!" She says, running after me with toast. I grab it, kiss her cheek and run out the door. I fluster with all my stuff and absent mindedly take a bite of the toast. I sort myself out and look at Gerard's house just as the door opens. I wave at him but there's something in my hand. Toast. The toast. I stop chewing immediately and realise what I've done. I look over at Gerard and see he's locking the door, his back to me. I quickly spit out the bread into a plant pot and shove the rest of it into my pocket. Deep breath. It's okay. He won't know how fat I am.

Fat faggot. Disgusting

I shake the voices away and focus on Gerard. I meet him on the pavement next to his house.

"You alright?" He asks, looking at my flustered expression.

"Oh yeah yeah, you?" I say, trying to stay as calm as possible.

He nods and looks ahead of him as we walk. It's not a long walk so we won't be late, but it unsettles me slightly that we won't be early. I like taking my time. I look at Gerard and am taken aback by his features in the sun. His red hair shines magestically from his head and his jaw line has never been so promenant. This man is stunning.

He turns and catches me staring. I look away blushing and he chuckled to himself. I deliberately stare straight ahead as we walk, the silence comforting.

"Hey Frank, I never asked why you asked me over last night. What happened?" Gerard said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh... Oh no it doesn't matter I just had a moment. It's all good don't worry." I say, looking him in the eyes to try and prove I mean it. He dosent look convinced but nods anyways.