Through Chaos and Order | Shota Aizawa

Six

    I have always been extraordinarily beautiful.

    Such a thing, when said, is automatically perceived as vain or egotistical, and though I don't mean to sound that way, it's simply the truth.

    My mother was the same way. Splendid. Gorgeous from head to toe, seemingly lacking a flaw. It was a natural part of our healing quirk. No matter my protests, I am told that I am more so than mom, for my primary quirk differentiates a bit from hers, and beauty is a necessity.

    My quirk acts like a succubus, in a way, drawing people in upon kissing them, but in order to get close enough to someone to do such a thing, they must find me attractive.

    The sex was phenomenal. So, not only is the other persons health restored and they are given a temporary buff, I derive sensational pleasure from the recreation.

    It sounds strange. In fact, I would never openly discuss such a thing.

    I hate it, truly. I hate my quirk, and I hate being beautiful.

    So, I'm not saying this to brag. No. I'm saying this because being beautiful is the biggest flaw I find in myself.

People are naturally drawn to me, and that can end very badly. It was perhaps one of the reasons I was targeted the other day by the villains; they saw someone they recognized as beautiful that would be perfect for the position they were scouting for, not knowing of said persons quirk. They didn't know mine, but now that they do, I gained their interest as more than just another whore.

Or maybe not. Maybe they were no longer seeking me out, thus this thought made it slightly easier to walk alone that night after leaving the bar.

It was dark and late, but I was within the city, so even at such an hour, people were still out. Teenagers and college kids goofing around with their friends. The majority of shops were closed, but there was the occasional twenty-four-hour cafe or fast food restaurant that remained open.

I looked down at my phone.

12:36 A.M.

Merry Christmas, I guess.

Since I stopped drinking, all effects that I had felt disappeared. Everything, in this moment, was genuine.

But as I wander these streets in the direction of U.A, I couldn't help but sense an agonizing twinge of loneliness. My thoughts were completely focused on Shouta.

Was he really still upset about what happened all those years ago?

I remember that evening and morning like it was yesterday. What I did was horrible. I didn't mean to take advantage of his feelings. Even now, I still don't believe I did, for everything that happened was genuine. I liked Shouta then, I wanted to have sex with him, and he did as well, I think.

But at the same time, I could have responded to the email sooner. I could have told him about the Scholarship sooner, so we wouldn't have had such a heart-wrenching ending to our relationship, if you would call it that.

I hate to say it, but it is what it is. I'm an adult now, so is he. We have matured, and now that we will be coworkers and will be working together closely for a while, I must face the situation stoically with utmost professionalism.

But, it's going to be hard. It's not easy to face someone you have such a confusing history with. I've managed to handle my composure so far, but what just happened may have changed that.

I don't know, I still feel bad.

I should talk to him.

It wasn't long before I could see the extremely large U.A. building in the distance. The up-hill path to the property was surrounded by vegetation. The school was completely cut off from the city. This lonesome pathway was what I feared most.