Through Chaos and Order | Shota Aizawa

Thirteen

    "Stronger!" Shouted Shouta.

My arms raised to block his following attack, groans of ache persistently escaping my lips with every strenuous move. My body turned and leg raised to send an abrupt kick to his chest, elbows bended to remain in the boxing position. He flinched, but not hard enough to his trainer satisfaction.

"Stronger!" He shouted again.

All moves were repeated, but this time around, my kick was weaker. I heard a sigh leave Shouta before he raised his hand, signaling me to stop.

"You're holding back today," Shouta moved to the corner of the arena to grasp hold of a towel and wipe the sweat from his forehead. He was presently dressed in a casual black tank and black sweatpants, my appearance closely matched, but were shades lighter. After, he threw the towel over his shoulder, and crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at me, "Why?"

    My body briefly bent over, hands placed on my knees as I desperately tried to regain my breathing. "I know, I know." I said, standing myself back up, and reaching for my own workout towel. "Nothing feels right today. . . with Order, I don't know."

    "What do you mean?"

    "It feels wrong to fight with her. She doesn't like it," I said before grabbing hold of my water bottle and taking a heavy swig.

    "This hasn't been a problem until now," he stated, aggravated, and doing away with my excuse.

    I stayed silent as we both finally maintained our rapid breaths of exhaustion. The air suddenly went quiet.

    "I think we need to start working with your dark stance tomorrow," suddenly proposed Shouta. I looked up, furrowing my eyebrows.

    "You think I'm ready?"

    He clicked his tongue, arms remaining crossed as he focused on me. My eyes unconsciously went down, briefly taking notice and accidentally marveling at his musculature. Shouta has always been naturally scrawny ever since he was a teenager, but I see now that he has made up for it a little through years of activity. Though, it still looks like he should eat and pay attention to his wellbeing a little more. Unintentionally blushing, I looked back up to his face as he spoke, seemingly not noticing my actions, "I want to train like this with your dark stance." He ushered between the two of us.

    I almost choked up my water. "Why?" I asked immediately.

    "You're uncomfortable fighting with Order, yes?" He asked. I hesitated. "I assume that's because Order doesn't have the emotional strength to withstand fights. That's your alternative's job."

    "But, even so, Shouta, I could—"

    "—We aren't making any progress," he suddenly stated boldly. I went mute. "Physically, sure we are, but none of this matters if we don't get to the root of the issue."

"Chaos," I finished for him. "Chaos is the issue."

"No," he said. I flinched, surprised. "You are."

"Excuse me?"

"You're the issue."

I was offended by this, only gaping at him in response. He eventually clarified.

"You are Chaos. Just as much as you are Order. Am I wrong?" I thought as he spoke, holding my words to myself. "It's your fault Chaos is acting out like this, and it's time to fix it."

"What? How is this my fault?" My voice raised slightly, showing my aggravation.

"You expect Chaos to be a trained puppy like Order, yet you spent your entire life refusing to give this side of yourself the time of day. I'd be pissed off too," Shouta explained monotonously as he began to put things away. I watched and followed him. "Chaos doesn't have the mental development as Order does. This is why you can't control her. It's like having a child, Amora. If you don't give it the parental supervision and raising it needs, you get a defiant kid. It's as simple as that."