Kelepto I.g

20:

Ian's POV (finally)
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I was in the kitchen when I heard Lip call for me. I was talking to Carl about what happened to Olivia, I had been so worried about her after Carl called me last night telling me how he had to call 911. I had tried to go to the hospital but was shooed out because I wasn't family and didn't have identification on me.

I walked towards the living room where Lip stood looking very confused as he held an envelope between his thumb and pointer finger.

I immediately recognized the handwriting on the front of the envelope as Olivia's which caused an odd feeling to settle in my stomach. My heart felt like it was gonna explode as I read every sad, pained and worrying sentence.

My heart seemed to stop as I read the word "pregnant" . She was pregnant? I got someone pregnant? Olivia was pregnant with my baby?!

The note continued as she talked about how she was leaving, and how she was sorry for hurting me , she talked about how I deserved better and that she "wasn't keeping it" because she didn't want to ruin my life.

I immediately felt like vomiting when I read over the small paragraph where she hinted at suicide. Olivia wanted to kill herself. Olivia was gonna hurt herself.

My heart broke as I finished reading the letter. I realized just how deep her hurt ran through her tiny body. She was convinced no one loved her. She felt guilty for loving me, like she didn't deserve to be happy. She hated herself. She believed that I didn't love or want her, she thought I was better off without her. She was apologizing for her existence, it seemed she was apologizing for being alive. And I didn't know what the fuck to do.

Olivia unloaded so much on me in that letter I didn't even know where to start, I didn't know how to digest all this information.

"Dude?" A hand placed itself on my shoulder snapping me out of my thoughts as I realized I had tears running down my face.
"She's gone" I stuttered out standing up quickly
"Huh?" Lip and Carl looked back at me
"Olivia, she..she thinks that I'm better without her she went on and on about how I deserved better and how she loves me even if I don't love her, then she casually told me she's pregnant" I was rambling out the words and pacing as my brothers looked on with wide eyes
"What?!" Carl yelled and I let out a choked pained laugh, feeling like none of this was real
"I think she's gonna kill herself" my hands fisted in my hair as I continued to pace
"What? Why what did she say?!" Carl snatched the letter quickly skimming over it before matching my scared confused expression
"Holy shit" Lip breathed out as he looked over it as well
"I don't know what to do?!" I was yelling and crying and pacing, I've never felt like this

"Fuck! Ok I'm gonna go get her brothers, you can Carl go get the girls and start looking for her. She couldn't have gotten that far yet" Lip suggested and we all nodded, grabbing our coats as we sped out of the house, Carl yelling for Fiona to come down which she quickly did, I called Debbie and she said she'd look around where she was.

Me Fiona and Carl walked up and down countless streets, yelling out for her. Lip texted me telling me he rounded up her brothers and they were also freaking out.

"OLIVIA WHERE ARE YOU" I screamed feeling my tears start to come back, throwing a random bottle , scared and angry just wanting to hold her. I hated that she felt this terrible. I hated that she thought so low of herself. I hated how she thought everything was her fault. I hated how she felt like there was no other way out. Reading that made me feel like I couldn't breathe. She was so afraid to tell me, so afraid of rejection that she couldn't talk to me.