This Might Hurt A Little-A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

Cigarette Break

Ponyboy never came home that night. Or the night after that. Neither did Johnny. We didn't know where they'd taken off to but, we knew it wasn't good. The news of Bob winding up stabbed to death was all over town. The worst part about it all was that I couldn't talk to anyone about how I was feeling. I'd been in a couple classes with Bob, and even though I knew he was trouble, I also knew he had a soft side. He helped me in math class when I didn't quite understand something and he'd been an alright kid, from what I knew. I couldn't say that to anyone in the gang though. They would wonder why I even cared if he was dead, why it mattered to me. They would tell me he got what he deserved and that I shouldn't have been bothered by it. But, I was.

"Where do you think they could be? Aw, Johnny and Ponyboy have never been outta' Tulsa, they've got nowhere to go." Two-Bit cried, taking a drink out of his 4th beer of the morning.

Sodapop was sitting on the couch, with his head between his knees, hands resting on the back of his neck, knuckles white. I couldn't comfort him. There was nothing I could ever do to comfort Soda when he was upset. And that was the most upset he's ever been.

"Probably headed down south." Dallas said, taking a drag of his cigarette and blowing it out in short puffs.

"Damnit Dally! I know you're hidin' them!"  Soda stood up in a short explosion, hands flailing.

"I told you, I don't know." Dallas gave an exasperated sigh.

Soda made the move over toward Dallas so fast, even Dallas himself wasn't expecting it. He grabbed Dallas by the collar of his leather jacket and slammed him so hard against the wall I thought they were going to go flying through it.

"Tell me where Ponyboy is."

I jumped up, rushing over to them. Two-Bit was too drunk to be any help and Steve was just plain stunned. I don't like fighting, but I especially don't like it inside the gang. 

"Soda, let him go!" I said harshly, pulling back on his shoulder.

He jerked away from me so fast it made my head spin, "Why are you always defending him? You act like he's so innocent! Don't you see what he's like?"

Dallas was standing dangerously still, not even appearing to be breathing, measuring what my reaction would be.

"So what? What are you gonna do, Sodapop? Beat it out of him?"

"Fine, you know what, forget this. I don't need you in my life defending the boy who's hiding my kid brother!"

I knew it was over then. When I look back on it, I knew it was over even before he said those words. A couple seconds before, I could see it in his eyes that he didn't want me anymore. Or at least, be with me. And I couldn't explain how I was feeling. Part of me was breaking, knowing that the very best guy I would ever have was gone. But another part of me felt like I could breathe again. That a weight had been lifted up off my shoulders because, it meant that people wouldn't know me as "Sodapop Curtis's girlfriend" or "The girl Sodapop's in love with." Because, nothing is more exhausting than having to love someone you don't want to. 

Sodapop stormed upstairs and Dallas followed him with his eyes, looking like he was about to take off after him but, he looked at me for a second and stopped.

"Well, that ends that relationship." Two-Bit stifled laughter.

Drunk Two-Bit always laughs at less than ideal times.

"Dally, do you really not know where they are? We can help them if you just tell us where they are." Steve spoke up from the couch.

"I said it before and I'll say it again, I don't know. Stop askin'." Dallas snarled through his thick new york accent and stormed out the front door.

I trailed after him, after motioning to Steve to go check on Soda. Dallas walked down the street, not acknowledging me until we reached the corner.

"Don't you have someone else to follow like a lost puppy?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

His anger used to fade me. It used to rattle me, even scare me, but I realized he wasn't all that bad. It was just a show.

"You know where Johnny and Ponyboy are." He started to speak but, I stopped him, "And I'm not stupid enough to think that you'll tell me where they are. But are they at least safe?"

A strange smile came across his face but, he replaced it with his stony disposition. "They're safe."

His tone dropped just ever so slightly at the end. Nobody else notices when that happens with his voice but, he always does it when he's lying. Like the time he told the fuzz that he didn't rob the store, or when he promised me he would never get in another fight. He could convince everyone else but, I knew better.