FAKE LOVE | JJK FF [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-Four

"I grew a flower that can't be bloomed
in a dream that can't come true"

---

It had not been easy.

The past month had passed so chaotically I didn't even know what was going on anymore. I was so overwhelmed by everything happening in my life that I hadn't fully taken in the effects of things.

In between making all the last adjustments for my big presentation next week, having the freaking funny boot removed from my injured foot and dealing with my personal life issues, there was just too much going on.

Mainly, my soon-to-be ex-husband.

Jungkook had called me more times than I could count, texted a bunch others and left God knows how many voicemails. According to Jimin, he had also threatened my brother to divulge the information of where I was staying, but he didn't bend, what only made the younger even more pissed off.

Now, it would seem easy to assume I was behaving foolishly by taking such drastic matters. Maybe I was. But something inside me urged me to keep going at it, to not give up.

I could easily do it. All I had to do was listen to Jungkook's explanation - because he would most likely have one - and believe that it would all turn out okay. Some nights I actually wondered about it as I tried to fall asleep, how simple it would be to just say "Hey, I miss you. Forgive me".

But that's the thing, I would never forgive myself. I didn't know precisely what had gone down that night between him and Yoona - and frankly I wasn't sure if I wanted to - but if I allowed him to explain, no matter how true or false his words, I would believe them.

I knew from the moment he lied to me that whatever excuse he gave me would make everything suddenly okay, and that scared me. I knew I would prefer to believe in his lie than to face the truth if given the chance.

And what would that make me? Weak? Pathetic? A girl who fell in love with the man she married, even knowing of his past and reputation? A foolish woman who let herself be wronged - who might even have chosen it?

No, I refused to be that person.

The reason I fought my parents my whole life was because I wanted freedom to choose who I would become. That included a career, my personality and my relationships.

I would not be the woman being cheated on or lied to. I was better than that. I deserved better.

I wanted more.

And Jungkook was too perfect to risk my sanity by actually letting him explain. He would charm me into forgetting it all and forgiving him, making me think it had only been a bad dream.

But what then?

What if when he did it again? What about the sleepless nights I would spend in the future, worrying about him while he stumbled onto someone's bed? What about the late meetings and private dinners and all that, while I stayed home like a good, loving wife?

That wasn't the life I had dreamed for myself, and it certainly wasn't something I would content myself with. I had told him before, I wanted a family, a home. I wanted to know the man I chose for myself would be there, no matter what.

For a brief second, I had allowed myself to think that man could be Jungkook. It was so easy to just picture him being that perfect husband, fulfilling my expectations to perfection.

To have the home I so desperately wanted with him. Starting a family, adopting a dog, or a cat, or whatever. Those details weren't truly important, they weren't the appeal.