Blue Rose Petals (Shizaya)

Where were you?

"Tick-tock, tick-tock", the clock repeatedly ticked in the same calming rhythm. The room was filled with darkness, almost reflecting the emptiness he felt inside. Only the light sound of the clock and the quiet breathing of the raven was heard. It was silent, too silent. Silence really is a pain. It gives free access to the darkest thoughts that hide like monsters in one's mind. Izaya laid in his big bed staring at the ceiling as his thoughts corrupted him and he slowly rotted in his room. He didn't get out of the house for about a month now, but he didn't care much. His tiredness was overwhelming and he was sometimes even too weak to get out of bed. Was he perhaps lonely? Loneliness? Izaya Orihara being lonely? Impossible, ridiculous! He had all his humans to play with so why would he be feeling such an emotion that was so out of character for him? Or maybe he just couldn't accept that he indeed lacked love and care? If he died, nobody would miss him, right? Izaya let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep. Of course, that failed, but he didn't really mind because even if he'd fall asleep, another one of his usual nightmares would come. His wrist burned from the cuts that he made not so long ago. He sat up and got up from the bed walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water. His stomach growled and Izaya remembered that he hasn't been eating for a while. He didn't even remember when the last time he properly ate was. He just shrugged at the thought as to he wasn't hungry anyways. Izaya sipped a bit of the cooling water letting it smooth his burning throat and making his voice less hoarse. 

Then his phone rang and when Izaya looked at the number surprise overtook him because it was none other than the protozoan Shizuo himself! "Well, that's surely unexpected." Izaya was in a dilemma. Should he pick up or just ignore his bothering call? He didn't feel like talking, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Hello, Shizu-chan~! How nice of you to call~" A deep growl was heard on the other line, which amused the raven quite a bit. "Shut up flea! What are you planning again?!" Izaya raised an eyebrow not understanding what the blond meant. "Whatever do you intend to say by that? I haven't planned anything. How irresponsible of you to come to conclusions like that without any kind of proof~" The blond had the urge to crash the phone so he wouldn't have to listen to that annoying voice anymore, but somehow found the self-control to restrain himself from doing it. "Don't play innocent! Nobody heard anything of you in weeks! You're definitely up to no good!" Seriously?! This brute called just so he can blame him for staying home for a few weeks? Izaya answered sighting and rolling his eyes: "Shizu-chan, I know that you hate me and have probably nothing better to do than thinking about how 'evil' and 'annoying' I am, but I'm not really in the mood for your useless talking so would you mind leaving me alone? Thanks~" And with that, he hung up right before Shizuo could yell anything back at him. How did he even get his phone number in the first place? 'Maybe from Shinra.', he guessed. "Anyways, it's pretty late I should probably go to bed.", he thought out loud. He was indeed very tired, but just like before he knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep and he was the whole day in bed anyways. Izaya sat down on the couch thinking about what he should do when it suddenly hit him. He wasn't outside in like forever and missed sitting on the rooftop at nights so he decided to finally catch some fresh air.

He grabbed his fur coat and slowly dragged himself outside. There were barely any people and as much as he wanted to go to Ikebukuro he knew that he was too weak for that so he went to his apartment's roof. It was a rather cold and really dark night, just the way Izaya liked it. He stared down and had to force his mind not to think suicidal, though it was really hard and almost impossible. "Damn it.", he whispered and saw no other escape from his dark, corrupting thoughts other than pulling out his knife and slashing it across his arm repeatedly. The pain shot through his wrist and blood was flowing down his arm as Izaya took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He suddenly heard footsteps from behind and smelled the toxic scent of nicotine. Izaya turned around already knowing who that might be. "Shizu-chan~ So it is indeed you! You should stop smoking, you smell horrible.", he joyfully suggested while hiding his blade in his pocket and pulling the sleeve back on his arm. "How dare you hang up on me! I'll teach you a lesson flea!" Izaya sighed deeply thinking about a clever answer, but no matter how hard he tried his mind was filled with too much stress and anxiety to work properly. "I told you I'm not planning anything and with that, I answered your question and had the right to hang up.", he managed to say even though his voice was raspy and didn't sound too convincing. "I wasn't done talking to you!" "Well you are now~ Bye, thanks for your visit!~", he teased the irritated blond trying to get him to leave. "Come here you bastard!", he yelled and approached the raven with large steps. Izaya put his hands in front of him acting innocent: "You don't have to get all violent~ I didn't do anything~", he fake-smiled. Before Izaya could pull out his blade to defend himself he was pulled up by the collar of his jacket and thrown to the other side of the roof. Izaya coughed hardly, trying to push himself back up, but not succeeding and just falling down. His limbs felt even number and more tired than before and he felt as if he has been beaten up for hours non-stop. When Izaya finally caught his breath the blond was right in front of him again. "Stand up brat! Stop laying around the ground. You're so pathetic!" 'Well I AM pathetic...', Izaya thought only for himself. "L-leave me alone bastard." Shizuo growled anger filling him up: "Tell me why you weren't seen anywhere for so long! If you don't tell, I'm gonna beat the answers out of you!" How could he respond? Well, of course, he could answer: "Well I am depressed and I sometimes can't even get out of bed. Oh, and I also don't eat because what's the use of that? But don't worry in my next attempt of killing myself I'll try harder.", but of course, he wouldn't say that. "I just don't feel like going out. I-I...I was sick, yeah...sick." It was obvious that he was lying and even Izaya himself knew that fact. "I won't buy your bullshit!" Well if you thought about it, Izaya wasn't completely lying. He was indeed sick, mentally sick, which also affected his physical state. "J-just leave me alo-ahhh!", he yelped as he was roughly kicked in the gut. "Shut up!" Then the blond pulled Izaya up by his hair and made him look at him. "Now you listen up flea, tell me the truth and I'll stop beating you and if you don't...well I guess you can imagine the consequences~", he threatened him with a rage-filled smirk. Izaya winced at the pain he felt everywhere and looked away too scared to look Shizuo in the eyes. "I-I..I just...w-wasn't feeling r-really well lately, I s-swear." Izaya was so scared that he forgot for a moment that he still had his knife with him, but eventually remembered and right before he got another punch he pulled out his blade slashing it across the blond's chest with the last bit of strength. When Shizuo recovered from the shock he growled in a low tone rage sparkling in his eyes. "I'll kill you!!!", he yelled, but Izaya didn't hear him anymore. He noticed a blurred silhouette coming closer before his vision turned black.

The angry man stepped closer ready to send the flea flying, but when he bent down he realized that the raven was unconscious. "Huh? Already out? Since when is he so weak?", the blond hissed and picked him up or more like threw him over his shoulder roughly walking down to the apartment. Fortunately, Izaya didn't lock his door and Shizuo didn't have to break it down. He walked in and placed him on the couch sitting down on a chair. "Drip...drip...", Shizuo heard something and searched for the source of the sound. He looked down on the floor his eyes widening quickly. Izaya's arm was hanging from the couch and blood dripped from it painting the floor red. "Izaya?!" He took his arm gently for once pulling up the sleeve and revealing many horrifying cuts. He immediately ran to the bathroom to find something to disinfect the wound with. "Flea you are so bothering. You're making my life so complicated.", he sighted while cleaning up his arm carefully.

The next morning arrived and Izaya groaned as he woke up opening his eyes and seeing the ceiling above him. "You're finally awake. Mind explaining your bloody arm?", he heard an impatient voice near him say. Izaya slowly sat up his head still spinning. "Shizu-chan? ..... Wait!? What are you doing in my house?!" "You passed out so I brought you back here. Be thankful brat." Even though Izaya was confused as to why Shizuo would care to bring him back home and not leave him on the roof, he pushed those questions aside for the moment. "Is that so? Well, now you might as well leave." "You still didn't answer my questions. What's up with those scars on your wrist? And where were you all this time?" Panic shot through Izaya as he flinched. 'H-he found out?' He looked down on his arm, realizing that it was bandaged. "I-it's none of your business...", he mumbled as he looked down on the floor avoiding eye-contact. "No it is, now tell me." "I just accidentally broke a glass and it cut me, that's all.", he lied still not looking the blond in the eyes. "Izaya please stop lying...Have you been...cutting yourself?"