Blue Rose Petals (Shizaya)

I like you

It took a moment for both to realize what was happening as Shizuo's lips were placed against Izaya's sweet ones ever so gently almost as if just brushing against each other. The blond didn't even ask for entrance and just lovingly made light contact with Izaya's lips, taking his first kiss for himself. Izaya's shocked expression quickly turned into a flustered and shy one and he hesitantly accepted the kiss subconsciously. They both felt the pleasuring electricity of the love-filled kiss and melted into it, Shizuo becoming a bit more confident at Izaya's acceptance of the kiss and pressing his lips slightly more firmly against the other one's to feel them more. When he pulled back he noticed the other man's flushed face and smiled at him before kissing his forehead.

"Sh-Shizu-chan?" The blushing man whispered, his lips feeling hot from the contact. It was his first kiss. He was never kissed by anyone before in his entire life and it felt incredible. He looked at the taller man who was sitting in front of him on the couch. "Izaya...I like you." He froze for a moment, time stopping around him. 'What did he just say?'

'Such cheap lies.'

As if he could ever believe that anyone in their right mind would actually love him. He was a monster after all, the real monster between them. He chuckled slightly and pulled away from Shizuo's grip quickly after his words. "Wait Izaya! I-" "Stop lying to me and to yourself as well." Izaya felt Shizuo pull him back and hold him tightly. "Let go! Let go of me idiot!" But Shizuo just held him even tighter. "Izaya, I've been thinking a lot about it and I understood that I indeed have feelings for you. Please trust me. I'm not lying." 'No, no, no! He..he just can't do this to me! Why?!' He decided a long time ago not to trust a single soul ever again and there that protozoan comes, trying to convince him that his love is apparently being returned. It is not possible in any way for Shizuo to have any kind of positive feelings towards him. "S-Stop it! Y-you can't love someone l-like me. I'm a disgusting creature. You deserve better Shizu-chan." And still, the stubborn blonde male continued to argue with him even after he told him to stop. "Izaya you're not! Why would you think that?!" "Damn it! Can't you see? 'Cause everyone hates me and I destroy everyone's lives! And I didn't get dirty just now, I've been already used this way a long time ago!", the raven yelled loudly, his throat hurting in the process. He blinked a few times before realizing what he just told him about. He held a hand over his mouth in shock, wanting to disappear into thin air at that moment.

"W-what? I-it wasn't the first time it happened? Is that true?" Izaya stayed silent, looking down, afraid of what the blond might say now. He flinched as he suddenly felt two arms pulling him close to Shizuo's chest and wrapping him in warmth. "I'm sorry Izaya. I'm sorry you had to go through that. But I'll make sure nothing like that ever happens again. I promise I'll keep you safe." Izaya felt so ashamed and wished so badly that the blond would just forget everything he said. But soon his negative thoughts melted away and he breathed the blond's musky scent of cigarettes combined with milk in deeply. Shizuo's embrace was warm and Izaya could hear the blond's calming heartbeat. "I-I feel so dirty and used Shizu-chan. I can't get this feeling away.", he admitted to him finally. Shizuo stroked Izaya's hair softly while whispering soothingly: "Will it make you feel better if I say that to me you are the complete opposite of disgusting? To me you are beautiful and pure Izaya. No matter what happened in the past.", the blond said with a face as red as a tomato. Izaya couldn't help but let warm tears cover his face at his words. He felt so happy for once, so...loved. Yet still that doubt, that fear of being lied to ate him up, not allowing him to fully trust Shizuo, his love, his blue rose.

~...It was cold. Cold and dark.
A blue petal then slowly reached the table and as soon as it hit the surface, invincible flames burned it, leaving only black ashes behind. Ashes of a once beautiful petal...~

Izaya blinked, the image in his mind disappearing. He bit his lower lip, his soul being torn between happiness he desired so much and Shizuo's safety, which meant keeping him as far away from the raven as possible. He couldn't let him wither, couldn't allow there to be any chance of him getting hurt. He knew he needed to let go, to forget about his stupid love, but the harder he tried the more difficult it became, especially when the blond was practically saying that his feelings got returned. No, Shizuo couldn't love him because if he'll be with Izaya he'll get hurt and if Izaya rejects him, he'll get hurt as well. 'What am I supposed to do now?'

"Izaya? Will you let me help you?" "Shizu-chan but why do y-" "Because as I said...I love you." Shizuo watched him with hope-filled eyes, waiting for Izaya to say the same. "I'm sorry I can't answer you. At least not now." The blond nodded sadly and smiled at him. "I'll wait for your answer."

Izaya was laying in his bed Shizuo beside him. Why couldn't he peacefully fall asleep like the brute did? A deep sigh escaped his lips and he turned around to face the sleeping male. "Such beautiful locks...and skin...and lips...and- Oh come on! Why do you have such a perfect face?!" He pinched Shizuo's cheek gently before stroking his hair. "Why is it so hard to deal with all of this? It's all your fault you protozoan!", he complained jokingly. He wrapped his arms around Shizuo's waist, burying his face in his warm chest. "I hate you, idiot... Who am I kidding? I like you.", he said but Shizuo, of course, didn't hear it in his sleep.

"Wake up you lazy flea! You've been sleeping the whole day!" "So what?" "So get up!"
The blond irritated the tired raven, trying to make him stand up. Izaya wasn't motivated to do anything and just wanted to stay in bed and not being bothered, but no~ Shizuo just had to annoy him. "I said wake up! Breakfast is getting cold." "I'm not hungry.", he mumbled under the covers quietly. Izaya shivered when suddenly all the warmth he was in disappeared as Shizuo pulled away the covers, revealing a thin and fragile body. "You know, you should eat more. You're way too thin.", the man said after observing the figure on the bed. "I'm perfectly fine! And stop staring at me!", he complained as he blushed. 'Damn why does the flea look so...attractive and handsome.'

"Shizu-?" Without a warning, Shizuo climbed over Izaya and pinned his wrists down. "W-what are you doing?", he stuttered, panic rising up. After a while of staring at the raven, his face started coming closer to Izaya's. "Y-you're too c-close Shizu-chan." Izaya's breath quickened when Shizuo's lips almost met his and he tried to escape the taller male's grip without success. "S-stop p-please!" His eyes widened in sudden fear, feeling really uncomfortable with such closeness and of course with how helpless and weak he felt-'cause he couldn't do anything against the blond's actions. Flashbacks of painful events appeared in his mind all of a sudden. He could feel Shizuo's breath on his collarbone and suddenly couldn't get any more breath. He gasped slightly, yet the blond didn't notice a thing and when Izaya felt Shizuo's hand creep up his shirt, he yelped and started kicking the male while fighting for breath. Shizuo backed away as he realized that Izaya was gasping loudly with teary eyes and a scared look on his face as he tried to get as far away from the blond as possible. 'Shit I messed up again!' "Iza-" "Just-just l-leave m-me al-al-l-alone!" And Shizuo obeyed, getting out of the room guilty. Izaya sobbed and sobbed, but after a while, he calmed down and fell asleep again.

He found himself in, what looked like, a black hole or something. Izaya observed his surroundings and when he turned around there was a giant vase in front of him as big as a building. A sudden light blinded him as if the sun itself was hiding in that vase as it took a peek at the informant in front of him. When Izaya opened his eyes again the vase was way smaller and he was holding it in his hands. He looked inside and smiled as he saw a warm light inside of it. The light moved up and changed it's form until it eventually became a blue rose with fresh, beautiful petals and a warming aura. Izaya held onto the vase tighter, feeling how it's warmth spread throughout his own frozen heart. The thick ice layer melted slowly while the locks that sealed a fragile treasure prepared themselves to be unlocked. But all of a sudden Izaya saw darkness coming right from inside him and covering his hands before passing it's evil onto the innocent little rose. And no matter how hard Izaya tried to save it he just made it worse before the rose was left half-burned and withered behind. The raven's tears fell onto the ground next to the dead plant and he picked it up gently with trembling hands. "I-I'm s-sorry! I'm so s-sorry!!!", he wanted to yell, but no words came out. Suddenly Shizuo's voice echoed: "How could you?" "I trusted you."
"B-but I d-didn't mean to-"
"Look what you've done!" "Why were you even born!" "I hate you!"

"Izaya! Izaya wake up!" His eyes shot open and he sat up immediately before coughing violently. Shizuo rubbed his back worryingly and flinched in surprise when he saw Izaya cough up some blood. "Izaya!" He held him close while dialing Shinra's number quickly. "Hi, Shizuo! How ar-" "Shinra! Izaya's coughing up blood! I-I don't know how to help him! A-and he is panicking like crazy!" "What happened?! I'm on my way! Where are you two?" "We're at Izaya's place. H-he had a nightmare and when he woke up he started coughing endlessly and I-I.." "Try to calm him down. It's gonna take a while till I'm there." "Ok just hurry, please!" "Alright, I'll try to be there as fast as possible."