Blue Rose Petals (Shizaya)

Polluted

Shizuo was at Izaya's door standing there like an idiot and not knocking. What should he say? Izaya would probably ask why he's here, but did he know the answer himself?

Finally deciding to just make the first step, he knocked slightly. When there was no response, he reached for the doorknob. His eyes widened. 'It's not locked?' Shizuo carefully opened the door and gasped at what was inside. Izaya's apartment was half-destroyed, broken objects were all over the floor as if there was a big fight. He quickly realized that someone broke into the flea's house so he rushed to the other room, smashing the door open. His breath hitched as his eyes widened in fear- fear for Izaya.

No...this couldn't be...

The blond didn't believe his eyes. A naked Izaya was pinned to the ground by some disgusting man, his clothes were lying on the floor ripped. The man was enjoying the act as he covered the raven's mouth to prevent him from screaming. Izaya helplessly cried as his arm was bent back violently and blood and cum dripped down his thighs as the man roughly torn apart his insides from behind. They both looked up when Shizuo entered the room, Izaya's eyes practically screaming for help.

"Y-you filthy bastard! Get away from my fleaaaaaaaaa!", Shizuo yelled as he smashed the man against the wall and beat the living shit out of him. He repeatedly kicked and punched him harshly. "Die, die, die! Why...why?!" Only when he passed out did the blond stop and quickly dedicated his attention to the raven. "Izaya...I'm so sorry I didn't come earlier...I'm so sorry." Izaya didn't react and just looked on the ground as tears left his eyes and he hysterically cried. The blond didn't know what to do. Should he hold him close or was it better not to touch him for now? He reached out for Izaya, but as soon as he came in contact with his shoulder the raven flinched so Shizuo backed away slightly, giving him his free space. Izaya instantly looked up at the blond with teary, fear-filled eyes. He grabbed the monster by his arm and let himself collapse on him. He felt disgusting, dirty, used, weak. Everything hurt so much. He didn't want Shizuo to see, to touch him in this position, but the need for warmth and care was already just too much to handle. He needed him close. He buried his face in the crook of his neck as he continued crying while Shizuo just froze in shock. He quickly regained his senses and, without thinking twice, hugged Izaya tightly. "Why....again..?" Shizuo's eyes widened at those words, but before he could question anything he suddenly felt the trembling raven take his hands and placing them on his pale neck as he closed his eyes. "Go on Shizu-chan...That's what you came here for, right? To kill me and not to listen to my pathetic cries...Or did you just want to punch me?", he muttered in a cracking voice. Shizuo ignored his words, pressing the male's
head back on his chest. "Tch, I came 'cause I was....worried 'bout you flea." Izaya didn't listen any further and dazed off, being sure that the blond was lying. "Oi, are you even listening? Whatever."

Izaya's mind was telling him to push his beloved monster away, but the embrace was way too gentle, caring and his touch was so soft and warm that his body automatically leaned in and he clung onto him desperately. "Shizuo..." The hand on his head stopped stroking his hair for a moment, making the raven nervous. 'Did I say something wrong? Is he angry?' "I liked it better when you called me Shizu-chan." The surprised Izaya was too exhausted to reply and just whispered "Shizu-..chan..", smiling before his world was slowly consumed by darkness and he lost consciousness.

Shizuo decided to stay by Izaya's side from now on and help him out of the dark hole he fell in. Why? He didn't know either. All he knew was that he couldn't bear to see the raven so broken and alone. Izaya was getting quieter and quieter by day and didn't speak to Shizuo out of free will. He was almost all day in his room and tried really hard to make the blond leave his house and go back home, which Shizuo refused to do. Shizuo was standing in front of the flea's bedroom door that separated him from Izaya as he heard muffled sobs coming from inside. This happened every day and he didn't know how to help the raven. He finally opened the door, slowly stepping in. "Ne, Izaya. What's wrong?", he asked as he took a seat beside him on the bed. Izaya's back was turned to him and the sobs got quieter, but his body was still shaking from crying. Shizuo placed his hand on Izaya's shoulder, but the raven only backed away from the touch. A sad look covered Shizuo's face at this reaction and he sighted. "Izaya please talk to me. Did I do something to upset you?" "No...just go, please." Overwhelmed by deep sadness at seeing Izaya rejecting his help, his good intentions and seeing him so broken and hurt, he couldn't hold back warm tears. "I'm sorry Izaya.", he whispered before standing up. ready to go, as he suddenly heard a soft voice telling him to stay after all. He turned around in surprise, sitting back. "I-I don't want to be alone tonight Shizu-chan." After a pause, Shizuo spoke up: "Should I stay with you for the night?". Izaya nodded slowly, still refusing to make eye contact. Shizuo lay down beside the raven, careful not to come too close. Izaya then finally turned around and hid his teary face in Shizuo's shoulder quickly. The blond smiled and reached for the light switch. "D-don't turn off the lights...please.", Izaya almost whimpered and Shizuo obeyed, not wanting to scare or make Izaya uncomfortable. "Good night Shizu-chan." "Good night Izaya." They curled up together and Izaya quickly fell asleep while Shizuo was stroking his hair and examining his features. The smooth pale skin, beautiful closed red eyes, soft pink lips. So tempting and magnificent. 'He really does look cute... Wait what?!?!' Shizuo sighted, having enough of his stupid thoughts and whispered to the sleeping male: "Izaya...what am I supposed to do with you?"

Shizuo woke up, hearing a light whimper, then another one and soon he noticed the raven was sobbing in his dream. "Stop...please..." The blond lightly shook the male to wake him, but it didn't work. "It hurts...STOP!!!", Izaya screamed. Shizuo gently slapped the male's cheeks and suddenly his eyes shot open. He gave Shizuo a terrified look and backed away quickly, landing on the floor. "Don't touch me!" Izaya threw his head from side to side, not recognizing where he was. "Izaya it's okay. It's me Shizuo. You're safe." After those words Izaya blinked a few times and came back to reality, rubbing away his tears. "The hell are you doing in my bed?!" Shizuo wanted to help him up, but the raven rejected his help. "You told me to stay yesterday, don't you remember?" "I did? Well, whatever." Shizuo noticed Izaya's chest rising and falling rapidly, still recovering from the shock. "Izaya what was your nightmare about?" The raven glared at him. "None of your business. Please just go home already. I'm getting sick of seeing your face all the time." Shizuo put his hands on Izaya's shoulders, but he just wiggled out of his grip and stepped away. "Don't..." Izaya looked to the ground, his hair covering his face. "I won't leave flea. Not anymore. Got it?" At first, there was silence, nothing was heard from the raven until a cracking chuckle echoed which then slowly, but surely, turned into hysterical, uncontrollable laughter. He held his head with both hands, pulling on his black hair. "What, you think you're some kind of hero or something?! You...you don't even understand what you're doing! Trust me, you don't wanna stay. You haven't seen the worst yet! M-my...I...my demons will eat you up, damn it!!! Just go! Run you protozoan!!!" He collapsed on his knees, letting his tears out. "I-I'm destroying e-everything..." The blond kneeled down, resting his palm on Izaya's cheek. "Izaya, please. Let me help you. It's all gonna be fine, trust me." Izaya shook his head in disagreement. "W-why are you even t-touching me? After what happened, aren't you disgusted by me? I'm dirty, polluted and was a long time ago." Shizuo gently kissed the tears away and smiled a sympathetic smile. "Listen, you are not disgusting. It wasn't your fault. It's all over now, okay?" Izaya's heart skipped a beat at his soothing words and pure smile and he opened his mouth to say something, yet suddenly the voice in his head told him to shut up and stop being so naive. 'He's tricking you. Don't listen to him. He doesn't know anything. He hates you. If he'd know that this wasn't the first time he'd be even more disgusted. Do you really think anyone could love someone as rotten as you?', it told him so Izaya stayed quiet. 'He will never care. He's unreachable for you. He's your rose, remember? His words are blue rose petals. You'll destroy everything as usual.' "Izaya?" "...Shizu-chan...please go home...", he whispered, exhausted. Shizuo continued trying to reach the raven with his words, but it didn't make the slightest difference. "Please...stop lying Shizu-chan.", Izaya whispered and walked away. The blond watched him go slowly with small steps. He had no clue what was going on inside Izaya's head, neither how he could help him. He looked at the clock. "Shit! I'll be late for work!"