AFO CRITIQUE SHOP [BATCH 2 - FULL]

B2- Minstrelsy (kindEmpress)

📕Author: kindEmpress
📕Story Title: Minstrelsy: A Poetry
📕Critic Member: Khalessi (messiah-)

Paalala:

📖 Ang mga ipapahayag dito ay base sa personal kong kaalaman at opinyon. Please take it constructively because I will try to be honest. Tibayan po ang loob

📖You are welcome to leave a comment about your reaction or contradictions.

📖Dahil poetry compilation siya, the whole critique format may be a bit different.

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💥Book Cover:

For the book cover, I think it's nice. Simple but clean. I would rate it as an average cover when it comes to impact and relevance but overall, I don't think that you need to change it.

💥Title: Minstrelsy: A Poetry

Let me guess. Sponsored by thesaurus ba siya? Anyway it's very unique. Maganda rin dahil I know it's related to poetry but it is not a direct synonym. Because whenever you try to look for the immediate meaning of the word it always points you to a performance of minstrels. Or maybe a bunch of African-Americans singing. Or maybe a Germanic and Slavic traditional performance, who know. Siguro depende sa context. Anyway it's fine.

Is it unique? Yes! Very unique. Is it relevant? Yes. Is it memorable? Honestly no. Not really. It's pretty but not catchy enough for the market.

Sa mga individual entries naman tayo. So far maayos naman ang pamagat nila. Connected naman sa content. But again when it comes to impact and leaving an impression, it's too average for me.

💥Vision:

Let's talk about your vision for your individual entries. Ano nga ba ang intention mo sa mga tula na ito? So when we talk about poetic vision, is it a narrative like Poe's The Raven? Is it descriptive like Bells? Is it for comparison like Sic Vitta? Is it heart breaking like the works of Silvia Plath or Lang Leav?

So far, I think that the main intent of your poems is soley for self expression. I must say that it is direct and relatable. Sometimes though I think that you drabble too much and it tends to stray away from the original intent when you started. It's really nice when you finish strong with these entries. Especially the Filipino ones. I think your intent was clearly delivered.

Para sa mga individual entries mo I have mix feelings. Take for example your entry "I'm just a girl" is very well intentioned. Very relatable especially for girls your age. But it can also be contradicting. You started strong with all these empowering and self acceptance concept. Beinh able to have ambition and dreams even though you are not perfect. Then it went straight downhill from there.

You ended with a very contradicting statement about not getting what you deserve and feeling like a failure all the time? What ever happened to the girl who opened this entry? The thinh is it is not a narrative so it's a bit hard to grasp the contradiction in your very own intent.