Affliction

can't stop

I'm giving up on you. I'm giving up on whatever we were, whatever we were supposed to be or whatever we had. You've filled me with a different mix of emotions unlike anyone else has. Happiness, sadness, anger, hurt. I've felt it all with you, but the ones I've felt the most are sadness and hurt. I cant seem to bounce back from this, to create some way to make myself happy again, because you've taken it all away from me. It's crazy to see someone just drain all the happiness and life out of someone else like they're thirsty and they need more. They continue to sip it out of you with a straw until you're a lifeless pale blob of nothing, and yet they're still not satisfied. They won't be until they see you hurt and gone from their life because that's what they want. they want you to hurt. they don't want to see you okay because the second you're fine? that exact moment is when they're going to strip you of your dignity and everything you have because all they care about is how they're doing. They try to cover up and hide everything with drugs, and alcohol, sex even. But what they don't know, that them using you and your body for their pleasure and they just lead you on to think that maybe you were ever going to be something  more and then they just throw you in a ditch like you never mattered to them anyway. They get rid of the thought of you after everything you guys have been through. After everything they told you, they told you it was all going to be alright and they were never going to leave you and even though they are still in love with someone else they need you. What you don't realize is that the only thing they "needed" you for is because you're just  a "stress reliever" to them. They use you to make sure they're okay and then they leave you like everyone else and they don't give a FUCK. They don't care they'll just kick you when you're own and make you bleed even more. they don't care about how red your eyes are because you've been crying for six hours straight and there is a mix of makeup and tears streaming down your face. they don't care to see you bleeding down your legs because you've lacerated the skin on your thighs, or your stomach.It hurts to say that you'll be okay because you know that you're not mentally stable, you're not able to get over it, because it hurts. It hurts to know that you have to give up on everything you've worked so hard to achieve something with someone and you think you finally get it just to get whatever you thought it was shoved right up your ass and oops you're wrong. you're wrong to thing anything could've ever come from this because it was never going to, and even though it hurts to see him with her and it hurts to know that he doesn't want you. You have to get over it. you have to get over the fact that he will never love you the way you love him. He is never going to be there for you the way you want him to be. He is never going to tell you the words you want to hear because that's not how he feels. its how you feel and you need to get rid of that feeling, numb that feeling, lose that feeling some how.