Changed (Lauren/You)

Chapter 20

The next time I opened my eyes, it was completely dark outside with no noises emitting from the rest of the house. I couldn't hear anything from my son nor my mother. I wiped the small dribble of drool from the corner of my mouth and realized that basically my whole head was shrouded in wetness. I cringed to myself as I had to piece everything together to understand that yes I was drooling, but I had woken up in a hot sweat and that there were dried tears stains coming from my eyes that made my cheeks feel almost dry and sticky. I pushed myself off of my stomach and onto my feet so that I could check on my mother and Ashton. As I passed through the house I looked at the clock only to realize that it was close to midnight, and I had slept throughout the whole day without interacting with my family. I mentally cursed myself for that even though it was somewhat nice to not have to worry about those responsibilities for the night.

Once I reached the kitchen I came across a note with my mother's handwriting sprawled over the small pad. I picked the pad up and brought it closer to my face since my eyes hadn't yet adjusted to being awake. My squinted eyes barely picked up the scrambled writing of my mother's hand but eventually I was able to make out what she was trying to get across. "I took care of Ashton tonight and he is obviously sleeping. I don't know what happened but we are going to have a talk later when we both have time. I love you, and there's leftovers wrapped up in the fridge." I smiled to myself at my mother even though I knew we would eventually have to talk about what went down earlier today but I wasn't yet ready for it myself due to how I acted. Either way she was still considerate enough to make dinner and leave me some. I threw the note away since there was no more use for it before I went to refrigerator to get myself some food. I raided the fridge for the dinner that was left for me along with a couple more snacks and drinks.

I carried everything between my arms into the living room where I practically dropped everything on the coffee table before sitting down on the couch. I grabbed the remote for the TV and turned it on but the first thing that came on was a rerun of all the children's shows that played earlier in the day, and PAW Patrol sounded throughout the speakers. I rolled my eyes to myself because this was the epitome of life with a small child. A small laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head and turn the channel to something that I would enjoy more while I ate. I tried not to think about today's earlier events but of course there was nothing I could do to stop myself from doing so. Lauren's broken expression as I left her standing outside of my house was and always will be burned into the forefront of my mind. I couldn't bear knowing that I was the reason for such a look but at the same time, I couldn't justify my reaction to what she had said.

I guess it had been on my mind ever since I had gotten involved with Lauren because there were so many things that were holding us back from each other. It seemed like we had no time of peace because there was always something going on. I didn't know if that was a sign for this relationship not working out or what but it absolutely fucking sucked more than anything. I had actually started to grow feelings for Lauren and I allowed my son to grow close to her as well. If this really wasn't meant to be, there was so much that I had already put on the line for her that would not only destroy me, but my child too. At this point I didn't know if I was going to be the one to apologize to Lauren first or if I was going to wait for her to talk to me, but I was really praying that I didn't have to think about this whole situation any longer. Why was it so hard for us to just be like a normal couple? So many people didn't want us together and everything from our past would always come up and I hated every last bit of it.

I shook my head to rid of everything concerning Lauren right now because this honestly wasn't very good for my state of mind. I began to focus on the show that was playing on the TV and the food that was still sitting in front of me untouched. I began to eat slowly until I heard my phone going off beside me, signaling that I had a message. I hadn't checked my phone since I woke up so I wasn't surprised to see a couple messages from several different people. There was of course some from Lauren but I wasn't going to read those just yet. I also had a couple from Camila, which was surprising considering I didn't have her number saved, from Dinah, and also from Ally to make up the last couple in my phone. The only messages I was concerned with right now was from Ally, and I could already see how concerned the shorter girl was just by the couple of words that showed from the preview of her message.