The Tattoo // Joshler AU

Chapter Twelve

Tyler's POV

The tear tracks still stained my face. My heart was aching from the memories rushing through my head. I forced myself to stand up from the empty bed, casting my eyes around our small apartment.

She wasn't there. She hadn't come back.

I felt a combination of disbelief and anger coursing through my veins. She'd just...left me. It was as if my heart had been torn to pieces, my coherent thought gone along with it. 

On shaky legs, I stumbled through to the kitchen. Everywhere, small things reminded me of her. The dam broke once again, and I sank to my knees, shaking from the force of my sobs. Slumped against the kitchen cupboard, I barely registered the sound of the key turning in the lock. 

"Babe?" My head snaps up, letting my bloodshot eyes unabashedly rake over her disheveled form. Her hair was messy, and her eyelids were puffy, almost as puffy as mine surely were.

I flew into her arms, wanting to drink everything about her in, whilst her arms embraced my skinny frame. She kissed my forehead repeatedly, muttering "I'm so sorry," over and over again into my hair as she did so.

I melted into her arms, unable to stand another minute without them around me. I missed the safety they gave me, the sense of security and home. Even if her body smelled like sweat and alcohol.

Wait. 

She'd been at some club. She'd been as some damn club while I'd broken down on our kitchen floor.  

I broke free of her arms, the feeling of content suddenly being replaced by fierce and undeniable anger. The room felt like a cage, trapping me within the confines of the small apartment and my own mind.

I intentionally didn't look at her as I grabbed my keys, ready to leave. Not forever. Just for some space.

"Tyler?" The whimper came from just behind me, and I turned just enough to see tears brimming in Jenna's eyes. Despite the wave of guilt washing over me, I forced myself to continue on my way, out of the door, away from her. 

"Are you coming back?" I nodded, giving no indication as to the timeframe. I really just needed some space from myself and my own dark thoughts, and having Jenna there would surely just break me. 

What was I doing with my life? I was stuck in a complete dead-end, with a job that was going nowhere, and I called the world's crappiest apartment my home. Sure, I had my soulmate, but was it so wrong to want more?

I wanted to sing, I wanted to make music, I wanted to do something with my life. What I had now just wasn't enough.

I loved Jenna, with every fiber of my being, but I wanted things to be better for us. To do that, I needed a record deal. I know I'm good enough, I just haven't found the right style. I'd tried pop, singer-songwriter, alternative, what else is there?  

I needed a keyboard, a microphone, money. Considering that I had been the only one with a job for quite a while, we had practically nothing. This wasn't the way we should be living. We should be living, not just surviving.  

Throughout my internal pondering, my feet had directed me to a familiar apartment block, the home of Spencer and Debby. I rang the buzzer, desperate to see a familiar face, someone who would listen. Anyone. 

"Hello?" Debby's chiming voice sounded through the intercom.  

"Deb, it's me. Can I come in?" My shaky voice almost betrayed the overwhelming amount of emotions threatening to completely spill out of me. I was answered by the door swinging open, obviously opened by Debby. I stood in the elevator, staring into the eyes of my own reflection.