The Tattoo // Joshler AU

Chapter Thirteen

Josh's POV

Tyler. He was the first thing that I thought about when I woke up. He'd been the last thing I thought about when I went to sleep. God, I was really in love. But without him, my body felt cold, and my heart ached. I didn't even just want him at this point, I needed him.  There was a soft knock on my door, and I quickly pulled on some sweatpants, running my hand through my disheveled hair. Maybe it was Tyler. It probably wasn't. It wasn't. The head of dark hair was enough for me to recognise that it was Debby at my door. I quickly shoved the keys into the door, unlocking it and swinging it open as she burst through the door and enveloped me in what some people could call a hug, but I call it a she's-trying-to-kill-me-embrace. 

"I missed you!" Her voice was muffled as she buried my head into my chest, which truly showed just how small she was, as it wasn't like I was exactly that tall, yet she was still significantly shorter than I was. I didn't reply, just awkwardly shuffled towards the living room, flopping onto the sofa in a completely undignified manner. She disentangled herself from my body, and looked at me seriously. 

"Josh? You've been acting weird lately, is everything okay?" She took my hand in hers, whilst I ran my other hand through my hair, wondering what I could say. Her mascara-lined eyes looked at me, and I could see the beginnings of tears in them. 

"I'm worried about Tyler."

She let out a deep breath, almost in relief, "Josh, you're in love with him, it's understandable, just-" I cut her off, needing her to understand what I truly meant. I could be paranoid, but something was telling me that everything was not okay with Tyler, and I was scared for him. 

"No, I mean I'm really worried. Just, hear me out, Debs." I breathed in, unsure of exactly how to put it.

"The other day, we hung out, just like I told you. That's not my point. It was some time in the evening, probably around seven o'clock, and Tyler's phone rang. It was his soulmate," I practically hissed the word, and Debby rose her eyebrows, obviously intrigued as I continued, "Jenna." 

"She started screaming at Tyler through the phone, and, I don't think he realized, but I could hear it all, it was that loud. She was saying awful things, Deb, saying that Tyler should've been home, and accusing him of not caring about her. Tyler was almost crying, and I was so scared for him. If Jenna was like that over a simple issue, what would she be like if they actually fought? I don't want Tyler to get hurt, he means too much to me!" 

At this point, Debby's tears had spilled over, her bottom lip trembling as she listened to my passionate rant. I was shaking with rage and sadness, the weird combination making my head spin as I fought to form words. 

"I'm scared, Debby. I asked Tyler if Jenna would ever hurt him. He said no, that it was fine, but I don't care, I'm in love with him, I need him, and I need him to be okay!" I had shed my own tears by now, giving up control to the torrent of emotions running rampant through my mind. She said nothing, just curled up into my side, both our bodies shaking with the force of the tears that dripped down our faces. I heard the soft pant of a dog as her pug jumped onto the sofa, a small black bundle of energy. She burrowed into Debby's side, and my hand subconsciously ran over her soft fur.  We stayed like that for quite a while, probably forty five minutes at least, just relishing in the comfort of the other's company. The silence was soft and gentle, the soft and slowly dimming sunlight of LA illuminating the apartment beautifully. 

"Josh?" I looked over to her tear-stained face and tousled hair, giving her a small smile. 

"Can we go out to get food? It's like 5pm." I nodded, shocked that it had gotten that late, and wiped the last stray tears away before getting to my feet, almost groaning aloud at the physical exertion as I did so. We strolled down the brightly-lit streets, scanning our eyes over the various restaurants, trying to decide which one we'd like to go to. Debby stopped outside a small Chinese restaurant, and we both wordlessly headed in. We were seated in a booth, near the edge of the restaurant, but we still spoke in hushed tones. 

"What should I do?" Debby simply smiled at me in response, and whispered something that I couldn't hear over the chatter of the restaurant. I raised my eyebrows, and she repeated what she'd said. 

"Go for it." 

We finished our food, and left the restaurant. We walked past the local cafe, and I glanced into the store, trying to see if Tyler was there. That was kind of desperate if I'm honest. 

"He doesn't work today, Josh." She said it gently, and I blushed, ashamed of being caught out being so blatantly needy. At least I wasn't as bad as Jenna. I would never scream at him for not being home. I would never say the things she does. How could anyone treat Tyler that way? He was so precious and innocent, it wasn't fair. I wanted him to be safe, and have the perfect life, yet he gets that bitch Jenna. 

"Josh?" I hadn't noticed that Debby had stopped, and I ran into her, unprepared. She sat me down on the lightly graffitied bench in some park somewhere.  

"I didn't tell you something. Tyler came to see me yesterday. He was crying his eyes out, Josh. He told me that he'd been crying the night before, that Jenna had said the worst things to him, that he'd cried himself to sleep on their bed." I was already trembling, uncontrollable anger brewing in my stomach. 

"He broke down in the morning, on their kitchen floor. Then Jenna came in, and they hugged for a little while. Tyler had practically forgiven her, but then he realised something. That woman, that complete and utter disgrace for a human being, had been at some club. Our poor Tyler's heart was shattered in a million pieces, and that lowlife had been getting wasted somewhere, not giving a shit about him." 

Something snapped within me. 

"What is wrong with her? How could she do that to Tyler? Tyler doesn't deserve this, he doesn't want all this, he just wants to be happy, but Jenna just can't let that happen! I would treat him better than this, Debs!" I paused, only to breathe deeply, attempting to control myself, before I continued. 

"I would never want him to cry, because when he does, it feels as if my heart is being ripped out of my chest, but I would hold him if he did. I would make him pancakes whenever he wanted them, and watch Disney in my living room with him until we knew all the words to all the songs. I want to kiss his head before he goes to sleep, and I want him to be the first thing I see when I wake up." Tears flowed down my friend's cheeks as I poured my heart out to her. 

"I don't deserve to see the man I love being treated this way! I'm a good person, I just want to be happy, is that too much to ask? If Tyler doesn't see the light soon, I am going to die, sad and alone! This is not how life should be, this isn't how I envisioned it! I imagined it to be good and happy, not this hell I'm living. And before you say that this isn't hell, it is. This is hell, because seeing him hurting is hell." 

Debby gathered me into her arms, and pulled me into a taxi, giving the driver my address before soothingly massaging my forehead. I was drifting in and out of sleep, and barely registered the fact that we were at my apartment block. 

My apartment door was opened by her, and I stumbled into my bedroom, knowing that she would let herself out. I cried until I had no breath, and no tears left to shed. I saw Tyler's face in my mind as I fell asleep, and wondered if he was thinking about me too.