The Tattoo // Joshler AU

Chapter Twenty Six pt. 1

Josh's POV

My eyes darted over to the clock.

3:48 AM.

It was as if it was mocking me, it's bright red symbols boring into my skull and bouncing around in my head. I hadn't gotten any sleep for two weeks, and I'd barely left the house at all. How could I? After learning of Jenna's actions towards Tyler and then not getting a text back from him.

I was concerned. I mindlessly tapped my fingers against the edge of my mattress, curled up on my side, trying and failing to force ugly images from rearing their heads. I'd almost ran immediately over to Tyler's place after what Gerard and Frank told me. I wanted to give that Jenna a taste of her own medicine. But luckily Debby stopped me.

"Don't get involved. It isn't worth the fight," she'd said.

She was right. It wasn't my business. I hadn't even talked to Tyler in well over a month now, besides that text, so barging in would've been a disaster. But I just want to know if he's okay. That's not too much to ask, is it? Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a buzzing sound on my bedside table. Could it be...? I rushed to grab my phone, my eyes shutting tightly involuntarily as I turned it over, peeking open one eye to gaze at the screen. I sighed as my stomach dropped. It was just Debby.

From: Deb <3
How you doing? Come over anytime you want, even if it's 4 in the morning.

A small smile appeared on my face. It was nice to know there was someone there for me whenever I needed them. And I almost considered taking her up on her offer to come over until another text came in moments later. Tyler's name flashed at the top of the screen, and all I could do was stare at it until the notification eventually faded away. My hands shook, my heart suddenly racing as I clicked out of the conversation with Debby and onto the one with Tyler.

From: Ty
I miss you. Come outside.
- Tyler

My eyes lit up. Was he out there? Did he really come over this late just to see me? Was he alright? So many questions jumbled up in my head that I barely even noticed as I jumped out of bed and flew out my bedroom door and down the staircase, not bothering to put on socks or shoes. And all of a sudden my hand was on the front door's shiny, golden doorknob. I turned it shakily, opening it to see him.

Tyler stood out in the street, waving shyly. Tears welled up in my eyes. I ran towards him, barreling into him and wrapping him in a tight hug that I didn't ever want to end. After he overcame the shock of it all, his arms were around me too. And it all seemed so perfect. Too perfect. This was the moment, wasn't it? The moment where I'd complete the third and final step of my silly little program.

Step Three: Tell Tyler the truth.

I broke from the hug, staring at Tyler's swollen eyes, whether it was from the hitting or the crying I wasn't sure. And though I wanted so badly to yell at him to let Jenna go, that she wasn't right for him, I couldn't. Debby's words rang out in my head. It wasn't my place. However, it was my place to let him in on the big secret of how I felt about him.

"Tyler, I have to tell you something," I sighed solemnly. I was fighting back the tears.

"Okay. You know you can tell me anything," he assured. And those words made it just that much harder. Because I knew that they were true. And to get rejected by such a kind person was something I didn't think I could handle.

"I-I.." Doubts floated around inside of me, second thoughts nipping at me, regret, pain, humiliation all flowing through my veins. And then I looked down, looked down at his hands, at the ring on his finger. It didn't matter if it was a toxic relationship, I couldn't be the one to break it up. Tyler had to choose that for himself. "Never mind."