ten reasons to date me || lisoo

reason nine: pool/protection

Jisoo shifted nervously from side to side, eyes trained on the door of the bar across the street. It was a bar she had been in countless times over the years, often walking in without a second thought.

She had currently been standing across the street for fifteen minutes.

Somewhere inside was Lisa.

Lisa, who Jisoo had woken up next to that morning.

When she closed her eyes, she could still feel Lisa's body pressed against her own, legs tangled, head against her shoulder.

It had taken roughly an hour after Lisa's departure from the flat for Jisoo's panic to set in.

Her feelings for Lisa she was discovering ran much deeper than she could ever have anticipated. She knew that Lisa was thoughtful, the visit and cookies after Irene's tackle at the soccer game the week before had proved that. But the previous night had been something else, Jisoo had shown more of herself, let down more of her walls than she could ever remember doing.

Lisa had seen some of Jisoo's greatest insecurities, seen Jisoo at her most vulnerable. And Lisa had done what only Chaeyoung had managed to do before her, she had calmed Jisoo down, she had made her smile.

She had made Jisoo feel safe.

And she had done it all with barely more than a few words and a warm smile.

Chaeyoung and Jennie had pounced on Jisoo the second she had closed the door behind Lisa, their demands to know every detail about what had happened the night before so insistent and so loud that Jisoo was sure that Lisa was going to hear them all the way to the ground floor. After a while of staunch resistance, Jisoo eventually told them what had happened, (it was after all, almost impossible to resist Chaeyoung's pout), although she left out some of the details of exactly how upset her phone call with her mother had made her.

If the sympathetic look in Chaeyoung's eyes was any indication Jisoo knew she had probably guessed that particular part of the story.

Jisoo was only allowed to retreat to the relative safety of her room after Chaeyoung and Jennie had dissected the entire evening's interactions several times through thoroughly, talking more to each other than Jisoo about it.

Once she had a door between her and them, Jisoo let out a breath she was pretty sure she had been holding in since she had woken up. Her chest felt tight and there was a building sense of panic that she could feel rising in her stomach like a tidal wave.

She was truly fucked.

She had fallen for Lisa. Hard.

The admission to herself was both oddly liberating, whilst at the same time, utterly terrifying.

Jisoo knew that she wanted to give Lisa the date, that the other girl had already earned it ten times over since the stupid bet had started.

Heck, she had been willing to give it to her the moment she hit her in the face with the baseball.

Everything that had happened since then had only served to strengthen Jisoo's feelings, make her fall a little harder, a little faster. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff, one foot dangling out into the air, nothing below her, just wishing she had the courage to fall.

Jisoo hadn't been completely truthful with Chaeyoung when they had spoken about her reasons for not dating. Whilst it was true that Jisoo did worry about expectations, about intimacy and that dating just might not be for her, there were other worries too, worries that Jisoo kept only to herself.

The first worry was that Jisoo wasn't sure she could take the responsibility, the idea of someone placing their heart and feelings in her hands, for her to take of, to protect, the trust involved in that, terrified her no end. She couldn't help but shake the feeling that she would be a bad girlfriend, unable to separate her other commitments with her responsibility to a partner. She could all too easily break someone's heart.