Never A Happily Ever After || ForthBeam FF

Chapter 16

I'll warn you this time. Get some tissues.
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FORTH POV

    “I need what he said not to be true.” l said laying down with my back to Ming. He was silent for a few moments before speaking.

“It is. We talked to him.” He said in a soft voice. God, hearing Ming confirm it just made me feel worse. I sat up quickly and grabbed my phone. “What are you doing?” Ming asked looking at me worried.

“Calling him.” I answered as I put my phone to my ear. It rang twice before the automated lady voice started speaking. I scoffed. It’s not even that he turned off his phone or blocked my number. He literally declined my call.

“Maybe you should think about what he said.” Ming spoke. I looked up at him confused.

“What about it?” I questioned.

“Maybe take the scholarship. He said that’s what you should do.” Ming said shrugging. “I see no point in waiting around for someone who doesn’t like you.” I could tell Ming didn’t want to say that to me, but I could also tell he thought that that was the right thing to do.

“I’m not waiting on anyone.” I said. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“I’m serious Forth. So was Beam. Take the scholarship. Maybe it’s what you need.” Ming said before picking up his jacket and leaving. He didn’t even say goodbye. Jerk.

I laid back in bed, thinking about what Ming had said. I’m not waiting for someone who doesn’t love me. I waiting on Beam. I have to believe that what he said in the diner wasn’t true. It can’t be. He wouldn’t do that. He isn’t like that. I know he isn’t. I needed to talk to him one last time. I shot up out of bed and got dressed as fast as I could. I grabbed my keys and ran out the door. I was going to his dorm.

I arrived at his dorm ten minutes later. I wasted no time getting to his room. I abandoned the elevators and took the stairs instead. By the time I reached his door, I was a sweating and panting mess. I knocked on the door a couple times as I tried catching my breath.

“Forth?” When Beam answered the door he looked taken aback, surprised, and sad. “What are you doing here?” He asked, his expression changing to a dark one.

“Look,” I said pushing him back and into his room. I closed the door behind me before turning back and continuing what I was saying before. “Yesterday, you told me that you didn’t have feelings for me at all. That I was just there to comfort you and that it wasn’t real, that you were just confused. We made love, but it wasn’t really because you liked me.” I said. Beam sighed and shook his head.

“Forth, I already tol-” I put up my hand to stop him.

“Beam, listen to me, please.” I said looking at him sadly. He slowly nodded. “When I first met you, you had this hard exterior that was so hard to break through, but little by little I did. I took you to meet my parents which is something I have never done with anyone. You let me touch you. You let me hug you. You let me kiss you. You slept beside me. You even bonded with my family. You told me that when you were ready that you would give me a chance. Just over break, I felt these emotions for you that I didn’t even know existed. Emotions that at first were weird, but now I understand. I fell in love with you, Beam.

I don’t just mean I love you. I mean I fell in love with you. I think about you a lot. When I sleep, at school, when I’m not supposed to. I dream of you. I wonder if you would be mad at me if I did certain things. I care about you. I care so much about you. With my heart, and body, and soul. You have been through so much in your past and I want to love you like there is no tomorrow. I want to love you to the point where you get tired of me, but I still continue to love you because you need it. You deserve it. I want to give you a family that you never had. I want to touch you every day and night to show you that there is nothing to be afraid of when you’re with me. I don’t want to take the scholarship if you don’t want me to. I’ll stay for you. But if you were really telling me the truth yesterday. If you really don’t have feelings for me, tell me right now. Tell me right now and I’ll leave. I’ll go home and delete your number. I’ll go home and take the scholarship. Just tell me you don’t love me like I love you.”

We were both quiet after I finished speaking. I could feel my heart practically beating out of my chest. It felt like it would rip my chest open if it didn’t slow down. When I looked into Beams eyes I couldn’t place any emotions he had.

Sadness. Anger. Hurt. Guilt. They were all there. So were a few glistening tears. I expected him to confess his love to me when he spoke, but he didn’t.

“I don’t love you like you love me.” He said, his voicing cracking a little. “I think you should go home and stop making it harder than it has to be.” He said quietly. I would say that my heart broke more, but there is no way.

He seemed to truly mean what he said. He didn’t love me. He didn’t want to be with me. I should do as I said. Go home. Delete his number. And take the scholarship.

“One more thing before I go.” I said. Beam didn’t say anything, just looked at me.

I moved forward, caressing his cheek with my hand. He closed his eyes and a tear fell. I moved more and pressed my lips to his. It was a passionate kiss. It was more. I loved him with all my heart and he didn’t love me. He moved out lips but not much. I could feel his lips shaking and tears on my cheeks. I couldn’t tell if they were mine or his.

“Goodbye, Beam.” I said once I pulled away. He didn’t say anything or try to stop me as I left. When I did the tears fell. I fished my phone out of my pocket and dialed the professor's number.

“Forth, what a pleasant surprise. Have you thought about the scholarship?” He asked.

“Yeah. I did.” I said in a low, shaky voice. “I accept.”

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I am so sorry. I'm crying with you.
Two chapters left.
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