Never A Happily Ever After || ForthBeam FF

Chapter 18

FORTH POV

    “We’ll miss you.” Ming said hugging me tightly. I laughed and hugged him back. “Don’t have too much fun without me. I know you probably won’t.” He said. We laughed as we pulled back.

    “Don’t have too much without me either. And take care of Kit. Don’t hurt him. He loves you a lot. Don’t let that go.” I said giving him a heavy pat on the shoulder. He smiled and kissed Kit on the cheek.

    “I wouldn’t dare to.” He said. Kit smiled up at him.

    “Take care of him, Kit. He can be a handful, but he needs you.” I said. Kit gave me a reassuring nod.

    “How long will you be gone?” Pha asked. I sighed.

    “Two years, but I’ll call you guys all the time.” I said. Yo sighed before hugging me.

    “Thank you, P’” He said. I laughed and hugged his tiny body before pulling away. “Thank you for being there when I needed a friend. Thank’s for making Beam happy. Thanks for everything. I hope you become successful and I hope that you are happy. Don’t get too happy there though. We want you to come back.” He said lightly punching my arm. I laughed and ruffled his hair.

    “I would never stay. This is my home. Of course I’ll come back.” I said. Pha gave me a pat on the shoulder.

    “Take care, Forth.” Was all he said. I could tell he wanted to say more but couldn’t. He just gave me a smile that said so much.

    “Forth.” Kit said pulling my attention back to him. “Beam took his exams early and left so he asked me to give this to you. I don’t know what it says, but he said that he’ll kick your ass if you open it before the plane takes off.” He said handing me an envelope. I laughed and nodded.

    “Sounds like him.” I said taking it. A voice over the intercom informed me that it was time to go. “I’ll see you guys.” I said before waving and walking to the plane.

    I found my seat on the plane and pulled out the envelope from Beam. I took a deep breath before opening it. With shaky hands, I pulled out the pieces of paper inside. It was a letter. I unfolded it and began to read.

    Forth,

        For you to understand why I did what I did I need to tell you the truth.

        You were right. I lied to you at the diner and when you came to my dorm. I have feelings for you. More then I care to admit, and that is hard for me because I have so much baggage. I’m so damaged.

        I love you Forth. I’m in love with you. So much that it hurt. When we first met I wasn’t in a place to let someone in, but you persisted and forced your way in. You made me love you and it wasn’t that hard. You are an amazing guy. You have a family that raised you to be such a gentleman. You were there when I needed you. You gave me space when I needed it. You didn’t push me when I wasn’t ready. You loved me. You made me feel loved for the very first time in a long time. And I thank you for that.

        When I first heard about the scholarship, I’ll admit, I didn’t want you to take it. I wanted you to stay with me and never leave. I was selfish and I shouldn’t have been. It doesn’t matter when you applied to it, all that matters is that you did. You applied because you wanted to do something. You wanted to go. I would have been wrong to have dragged you down and lept you here. Going to the states to study is going to be the best thing that happened to you. I can’t keep you from that.

        I’m sorry that I hurt you and made you think that I didn’t love you, but I had to do it. I had to make you go. You wouldn’t if I didn’t. Thank you though. Thank you for taking it and leaving. I promise that after the first couple of months you won’t be as hurt. You’ll get into school. Make new friends and forget about me.

        I’m not telling you this because I want you to hop on the next plane back. If you do I’ll kill you. I’m telling you this to give you closure. I want you to be happy in life. I want you to find someone who makes you happy. I know you may think that someone is me, but I doubt it. I’m not meant to be with someone. I’m not meant to be in a relationship. I have too much baggage and damage. You’re going to be a successful engineer and I’m going to be so proud of you.

        Thank you. For everything. You taught me to be brave. You taught me that it’s okay to be different. You brought me out of my shell and I’ll be forever thankful for that. I hope one day when we see each other again you aren’t mad at me. I hope that you can thank me too. Thank me for letting you go. Which is what you should do with me.

                                Love, Beam

    I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I closed my eyes. He lied to me. He hurt me. He loves me. I wanted to hold him in my arms. I wanted to go back and love him with my everything, but I couldn’t. I had to show him that I respected him.

     never forget you Beam. No matter how much you want. Thank you.

BEAM POV

    “Thank you. I’ll make an appointment for next week.” I said before hanging up my phone. I had found a counselor that was really great and I felt like could help me.

Loneliness is defined as being empty, unwanted, unimportant. I am empty, unwanted, and unimportant.

    But I’m trying to change that.

______________

THE END.
It may not have been the best happy ending but it all depends on how you look at it.
But don't fret my lovely's. I like happy happy endings so I have the sequel in the works. They will end up together.
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