An Alpha's Claim

Innocence

J couldn't help the warming sensation that was filling her chest as she watched Cassidy coo over Uma. It was a side to Cassidy that she hadn't seen before.

The predator that J had grown up with was nowhere to be seen as the she-alpha turned to mush over her daughter. Though J had a suspicion that if anyone threatened Uma...things might end slightly differently.

To be fair, she wasn't that surprised that both Cassidy and Jake were reduced to mush around the cherub cheeked infant. Big, bold and beautiful eyes scanned the room, a giggle bubbling from her chest. She'd break hearts when she was older.

J hadn't got too near to her. She'd made sure to keep a safe distance. If she'd had her wolf, she'd have kept a distance to make sure her wolf didn't accidentally leap to the surface and hurt her, now she kept a distance because...because the tiny child was too sweet. Too cute. Too much for J to be trusted with when all she did was destroy.

A glimmer of sadness fluttered through J as the memory of her own childhood and innocence she'd lost briefly distracted her from the happy scene playing out in front of her. She mentally kicked herself, why couldn't she give herself a break.

J adjusted her sore leg, wincing at the movement, though it went unnoticed by Cassidy and Jake, who remained fixated on Uma. They'd barely even spoken as they'd made their way towards the house and relieved one of the pack nannies of their duty.

The journey here was beginning to take its toll on J, she tired quicker than the others and her body was sore from old injuries – and some from Rayna's driving.

Her head bobbed up as the door opened and Kelsey slinked into the room. Her eyes sparkled at the happy family as they played with the various toys scattered across the carpet, before they slid to J and narrowed. She took a seat as far from J as possible, and J ducked her head as tightness bit at her chest.

J's cheeks flushed, the room getting hotter by the second as tension wrapped around J's throat. Normally her wolf would be there, growling in her ear, an embodiment of the anger and shame J felt, but instead she was left to deal with the emotional fall out of choosing to leave her pack behind, and on such bad terms with Kelsey. Apparently, distance had not made the heart grow fonder.

J cleared her throat and stood up, just as Uma span towards her, arms outstretched. She wanted to be picked up.

J wanted to pick the girl up, despite everything in her head screaming at her that she was too dangerous, too much of a monster to hold something so innocent, J actually wanted to. She longed to scoop the girl into her arms, to coo over her like Cassidy had done.

Looking down into Uma's chocolate brown eyes, she could picture it now. A face, much like hers, but the angles sharper, eyes slightly narrower. Hair, a dark, midnight black, eyes boldly glowing silver. She, or he, would be beautiful – and they would be J's...and Logan's.

J visibly flinched and turned away from Uma, pretending like she hadn't seen her out stretched arms, or small face begin to drop as she was denied. J's chest tightened and she felt something irrevocably fracture – she was sure it must have been audible to the entire room. Something inside J had broken and she wasn't sure it could ever be fixed.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, J fled the room, wincing at the pace. She tried to hide the limp but the harder she tried, the more pronounced it became. The room was silent as she left, and remained that way long after she'd closed the door and leant against it, breathing in the cooling air of the afternoon.

She put a steadying hand on her chest as she tried to will away the image of the black haired, silver eyed child. A broken sob tore past her lips as her eyes burned brightly with tears. She stamped down on the scream begging to echo into sky, and instead took slow, hesitant, painful steps towards the medical centre.

She'd find Leah, she'd get some of the pills that Doc mentioned. Maybe, maybe if she could lessen the pain in her leg, then she could get a hold of herself. She'd barely been back an hour, and already she was hyperventilating and on the verge of crying – which is something J hadn't done in decades. She wasn't about to change that now.

She drew in slow, deep breaths and calmed herself down, forcing herself to think of something, anything other than the child in her mind. Releasing a long breath, she forced a grimace onto her face and kept going, trying her hardest to hide the limp.

She wasn't sure why Cassidy hadn't noticed the absence of her wolf in the same way that Doc had. Maybe Cassidy just wasn't used to it...or maybe, she'd forgotten J's scent...either way, J was grateful...almost. Part of her wished that Cassidy had known instantly, because then she wouldn't have to admit it to her.

Walking across the pack lands was such a familiar act, that J could almost pretend that the last two years hadn't happened. That her Wild Mountain pack were a figment of her imagination and instead she'd been here, helping to protect the pack – and Uma - living with her friends, her family. As she crossed towards the medical centre, she couldn't help but notice how little had changed – and yet knew so much more than she'd ever realise, was different.

For starters, Saf was nowhere to be found. J hadn't heard mention of her, nor seen her since she arrived. Leah, she hadn't been there to greet J either, which hurt the most if she was honest, but Cassidy had mentioned on the walk to the house that Leah was busy healing a recently injured pup, who'd stupidly challenged someone much bigger and much stronger than they were.

Elenor, though. That was a surprise. J knew that if she'd had her wolf, she'd be growling at just the thought of the woman's name. Cassidy was a more forgiving person than J was. She'd sold out the pack, practically got Cassidy killed, and yet here she was, still alive and happy. From what Cassidy had said, it sounded like she was part of their inner circle now.

Jealously flashed through J. She ground her teeth and her hands clenched. It was her choice, J reminded herself, her choice to leave. She couldn't begrudge the others for moving on without her, for living their lives, even if J had practically been existing in suspended animation for the last two years.

J rolled her shoulders, trying to ease the growing ache, but knew it was no use. Hopefully, Leah would have something to help, and if not...well, then J was pretty confident there was a bar around here somewhere. In fact, knowing Rayna, that's probably where she'd be right now – and knowing Lee, he'd be right there with her.

J sighed heavily as she reached the door to the medical centre, why did everyone around her have to be happy? Couldn't someone, just someone be miserable, too?

*

A/N

More tomorrow!

I got a load of writing done this weekend (30k words!) So, I'm way further ahead with An Alpha's Claim than I expected to be - therefore, from next Monday onwards, I will be updating every week day!

So, you'll have 5 chapters of An Alpha's Claim to read, every week! :D

Have a great week!