I Thought You Loved Me...

I Thought You Loved Me, pt. 6

Ashley's P.O.V

-One year has pasted-

I looked at the old scars on my arms. God I hated them. They were all from a few months ago. CC had become a little more aggressive but he tried his best to control himself.

Finally today we started tour. CC and I had already packed all of our things and were pretty sure we had everything. But then I forgot... My razors.

I quickly grabbed them and put them in my case. For as heart breaking as it seems they've become my best friend.

CC walked into our room "Alright baby it's time" He smiled gently grabbing our suitcases. I nodded and kissed his cheek as he put them in the back of his truck.

We got in and drove to the studio. CC parked the car and grabbed our things. He put them in the tour bus, I sighed looking around. We'll be gone for a long time but I guess it'll be a new adventure.

We got in and saw all the guys sitting on their phones, talking to their wives. I sighed, CC had started talking about how me and him should get married. I just changed the subject each time. I didn't want to think about it this early, we've known each other for 5 years but I still can't make the commitment.

"Hey guys" Jake mouthed at us.

I smiled slightly and nodded. CC nodded and walked to our bunk.

"Baby, come here" CC called.

I walked over "What..?"

"Me and you are sharing a bunk, right?"

"Y-yes"

CC raised his eyebrow "Why the stutter?" He moved closer to me.

"N-nothing... We can have the same bunk.."

"Why don't you sound so sure? What's wrong? Why don't you want to sleep with me?" He questioned. He started getting annoyed, I could tell.

"CC stop questioning me. We'll share a bunk, okay?"

"Well I'm questioning you because my husband doesn't seem to want to sleep with me"

"CC what do you- wait, husband? I am NOT your husband"

He looked at me with a glint of anger in his eyes. "Husband. We're more like husband and wife than anything"

"So you're the wife?"

He rolled his eyes "Forget it, get away from me"

I looked at him hurt "You know what? F-fuck you"

He looked at me with total anger. "What do you mean 'fuck you'! I give you EVERYTHING and this is what I get? Why do I even stay with you Ashley! Why!"

Our argument could easily be heard. Andy and Jake walked in and looked at CC.

"Okay CC calm down" Andy said

"No! I'm wondering why I stay with him at this point! He doesn't appreciate anything I do!" CC yelled. "What the fuck did I do to you!"

I looked at him like he was stupid.

"You really just asked him that?" Andy and Jake said at the same time.

"Come on, tell me" CC growled.

"Y-you abused me every single day 8 years ago! Verbally and physically! You made me feel worthless! You made me feel like nothing and that's what you told me too! You raped me Christian! You raped me! You think I'm supposed to get over it? And now you've started getting mad and yelling at me more! So yes, I truly wonder why you stay with me!" I sobbed.

CC looked at me and gasped "B-baby... My God I'm sorry.." He let a tear slip.

I shook my head "I-I'm not y-your h-husband. I'm not y-your toy... I'm a fuckin h-human b-being that deserves to be happy!" I cried. I ran out to the living room, Andy and Jake quickly followed me.

Andy sat down and opened his arms for me. I immediately hugged him and sobbed into his shoulder. He rubbed my back soothingly.

"It'll all be okay, Ash. This is just a rough patch. These rough patches will just pull you two closer" Andy whispered.

I nodded still crying. I knew CC would be upset if he saw me like this with Andy but I didn't care. I needed someone and Andy is here with me right now.

-A few hours later-

I rested my head in CC's lap as we were watching  The Phantom Of The Opera. We talked after a few minutes of us both crying after our argument. We decided that when CC is angry that he'll just walk away from me and when I feel too overwhelmed that I'll just go outside. Even though we argue and make up I still love him.

I could feel CC reach for my hand. I smiled and grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers. I could feel him kiss my hand making me blush.

"Baby?" CC asked looking down at me.

I positioned my head to up look at him "Yes?"

"Do you think that we'll be together forever?"

"Maybe... We never know what the future holds baby"

CC nodded and kissed me softly. I kissed back and smiled. Even though we were together for a year now we've never said 'I love you' yet.

"I love you CC" I whispered looking into his eyes.

He looked back into mine "I love you more Ashley" He laid down and pulled me on top. I put my hands on his chest and put my head on top of them and looked at CC.

He looked up at me "Yes?"

"Just kiss me muscle man" I whispered and giggled.

He smiled slightly and kissed me lovingly. I kissed back and could feel his fingers getting tangled in my hair.
I sat up and kissed him more till I felt him grab me through my pants.

I immediately pulled away and crossed my arms. I was just trying to make out with him not get into anything too sexual.

"Ashley, why did you pull away?" He looked at me.

"I was just trying to make out with you. I'm not trying to have sex on our first day of tour.." I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Oh damn... I'm sorry baby" He said sincerely and pulled me onto his lap. We were the only ones up so we would've made way too much noise anyway.

I looked up at CC. God, even though he yells at me sometimes and hurts my feelings he's still so fuckin gorgeous.

"Maybe we'll have sex some other day since we haven't in foreverrrr" I giggled.

He smiled shaking his head "It's your call my outlaw" He kissed my cheek. I nodded and closed my eyes. God I love this man. Even after every fight he always apologized and comforted me in every way possible. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we got married? Maybe we could be together forever? I don't know... I still have a bad feeling in my gut... Something bad will happen... And it'll happen soon...