Our place (on hold)

1.1

4 months later

Riley:
I've tried to change it, tried to stop listening to her. But it didn't work. She keeps popping up in my head, keeps pushing me and Jordan apart. It came to the point that she is basically standing between us. I'm in therapy now. Jordan convinced me to do it. He is absolutely right about this. She can't control me anymore, this need to stop.

I walk out of the office of my therapist. It was a hard session. I had to face my fears. Things came to my mind where i never thought of before. Like the fact that I'm afraid to lose Jordan during this whole thing. That he is going to leave when I struggle the most. I walk home. When i open the front door, I can see that Jordan, Mitchy and Sam are sitting on the couch. 'Hey, where were you?' Mitchy asked. 'I...uh ... went to Shannon's we needed to work out the scedual for next week.' I lied, because I can't tell them. When I tell them it will be official, it will be a fact that I'm ill. It will be a fact that I have this mental illness that i had 4 years ago. that I have an illness that will probally ruin my relationship.

'Does anyone want a drink.' I asked. the boys nodded. I walked to the kitchen.  'I'm coming with you.' Jordan said and followed me in to the kitchen. I opened a cabinet and took out 4 glasses and filled them with drinks. 'Why did you lie to them?' Jordan asked. 'Because I'm scared. and because I don't want people to tell me everything will be alright and I don't want to be everyone's favourit topic to rumour about.' 'You know that they aren't those kind of people. They care about you. They won't tell anyone.' he said. 'I'm not ready to talk about it. When I don't talk about it, it feels like it doesn't exisists, it's feels like nothing's  going on.'

Tears started to form in my eyes and before I knew they started running down my cheeks. Jordan looked at me, his face expression was different this time. It was softer. 'Riley... Stop crying... Please I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just that... never mind. Do you want me to tell them?' he said. I shook my head. He hugged me and placed a kiss on my hair.

'i think I'm gonna lay in bed for a while...' I said, letting go of Jordan and walking into the bedroom. I laid down and stared at the ceiling. 'Where's Riley...' I heard Sam ask. 'Bedroom. She wasn't feeling well...' 'You also said that yesterday when she wasn't coming with you to the studio and last week when you canceled to go to Taco Bell... Jordan are you sure nothing's going on with her... I mean... You know...' I heard Mitchy say. Shit he's smarter than I thought he was. 

She took over again. Telling me to get rid of everything I had durning my therapy session. I stood up and ran to the toilet. I shove two fingers down my troat throwing up all the food I had. I wiped my mouth with a towel and brushed my teeth. When I opened the door to go back to my room I saw Jordan standing in front of me. He looked so dissapointed.

Jordan:

'Does anyone want a drink.' Riley asked. the boys nodded. She walked to the kitchen. 'I'm coming with you.' Isaid and followed her into the kitchen. she opened a cabinet and took out 4 glasses and filled them with drinks. 'Why did you lie to them?' I asked. 'Because I'm scared. and because I don't want people to tell me everything will be alright and I don't want to be everyone's favourit topic to rumour about.' 'You know that they aren't those kind of people. They care about you. They won't tell anyone.' I said. 'I'm not ready to talk about it. When I don't talk about it, it feels like it doesn't exisists, it's feels like nothing's going on.'

Tears started to form in her eyes and soon they started running down her cheeks. I looked at her. 'Riley... Stop crying... Please I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just that... never mind. Do you want me to tell them?' I said. she shook her head. I hugged her and placed a kiss on her hair. 'i think I'm gonna lay in bed for a while...' she said, letting go of me and walking into the bedroom.

I walked back into the living room placing the drinks on the coffee table. 'Where's Riley...' Sam asked. 'Bedroom. She wasn't feeling well...' I answered. 'You also said that yesterday when she wasn't coming with you to the studio and last week when you canceled to go to Taco Bell... Jordan are you sure nothing's going on with her... I mean... You know...' Mitchy said. 'what do you mean Mitch...' 'I'm saying that... Maybe she is pregnant...' he said. I almost choked in my drink,' it isn't possible because Riley and I haven't had sex in a while' I lied. I heard Riley open the door of the bathroom, followed by her coughing. I didn't think twice and jump up from the couch. 'I'm going to check on Riley. I ran to the bathroom. the door was locked. she opened the door and I could she that she wasn't proud about what she did. 'i'm sorry...' she said. I hugged her. I don't wan't to lose her. She was shaking. 'Are you cold?' I asked. she nodded. I took of my sweater and pulled it over her head. we walked into the living room. I pulled Riley in my lap and held her close. she placed her head on my shoulder. 

Riley:

i was sitting in Jordan's lap.  I moved over and sat down on the couch. 'I'm going to get some water from the kitchen.' i said and stood up. As soon as I was standing on my legs my sight started to get  really blurry. I turned to look at Jordan he was concerned and soon everything turned pitch black. I heard voices around me but it was diffrent this time, this time i couldn't open my eyes.

Jordan:

Riley moved over and took a seat beside me on the couch. 'I'm going to get some water from the kitchen.' she said and stood up. She turned around and looked at me. she was extremly pale and her lip was shaking. In a matter of seconds she fell down, hitting the ground. I jumped of the couch and sat down beside her. I placed her head in my lap. 'Riley...' she didn't react. 'Mitch call an ambulance. now.' I said holding on to her ice cold hand.