When Love Bites (published)

Chapter-15

I took a shower and tried to find something to wear on the first day of my office. I stared the clothes in my closet for a while and finally chose a blue suit with a crisp white shirt. I put on my brown leather shoes and walked out of the apartment, applying my favorite perfume.
It was a normal silent morning and the sun was barely higher that the trees. I reached the office and parked my car. I could feel my heart thumping as I walked through the hallway. My shoes made a rhythmical noise against the floor. I was greeted by the employs as I entered the office and the look on their face clearly showed that they were shocked to see me there.
A lady in her early 30's passed a smile and came towards me. She was Dad's secretary.
"Here is your cabin, sir" she pointed towards a glass door.
I nodded and entered the cabin. It was a huge room occupying the corner of the building with floor-to-ceiling window. The two remaining walls contained a door to washroom, a low bookshelf and a single oil painting. The black glass surface of the table was equally uncluttered. A stack of papers was resting under a turtle shaped paper-weight on that mahogany desk with three drawers on the right hand side. I sat on the swivel chair and pulled out my mac book pro from my bag.
I called Miss Neetu, who was my secretary now and asked her to bring the details of all the deals we had with the Mittal group of industries in the past 2 years.
I thoroughly went through the details and made strategies to go ahead with Mittal's.
Suddenly, my phone flashed the name 'Dad' on it's screen.
"How is it going, son?" Dad asked about the office.
"Pretty good" I replied.
"That's nice. I hope you rise up to my expectations" he said.
"Sure Dad. I am going to make you proud, I promise" I tackled the responsibility which he was putting on me by his way of talking and we hung up.
***
It was the 3rd day of my office and I analyzed the stats of my company just like I did in the previous 2 days. That was the only thing I did since I joined the office. I called Miss Neetu again to clear some doubts about the terms and conditions of the deals. Thankfully, I remembered her name.
After having a brief conversation with her, I came to a conclusion but I still wanted to think about it before implementing that idea.
I was checking some of the pictures in my phone which Dad sent me related to the deals and suddenly Kriti's picture opened up. My heart stopped beating for a second. I turned it off and put my phone on the table and asked Miss Neetu to bring me a coffee.
I stared at the coffee on my table as if it held all the answers I was searching for. But all I could taste was the drags of heartbreak and sufferings, bitter on my tongue. The caramel liquid found it's way down the drain and I leaned back against my chair, pressing my face into my hands until I saw stars behind my eyes.
I left the office early and drove off to home. I reached my apartment too early. I sat on the bed and thought about how the ceiling was too low or maybe the mattress was too high. I thought about the grey stains on the wall and about the dust on the fans. I thought about how I never bothered to paint any of the things I said on the walls and never really liked those posters anyway. I felt formless and hollow. There was so much space in that in-between-time from office to sleep. There was a mirror across the room and I saw a wild boy in it and I wished I was somewhere else. I turned my head at white walls and windows full of nothingness and grey mesh screens. I just sat there, clueless and I wondered that did she even save the pictures? Or did I not even mean that much to her? Did I mean that little that she will pass around our secrets, our memories like they were nothing more than a passing moment? Did she looked back and laughed? Laughed at how she broke every promise she made, how she shrunk me down to nothing more than a mere picture when all I ever wanted was to be loved.
I knew it's been weeks and months but I still couldn't let my feelings go. She was still the one I thought of in the mornings, my late night thoughts and all in between. She still remained to be my muse even after a long, long period of time. But I did not want to think about her anymore. I wanted her out of my mind, out of my heart and out of my life. By that time, maybe she didn't remember me much, maybe I was just another human being to her, the one that mattered only for a few moments. It hurt so badly, I missed her so badly and yet I couldn't do anything, for she didn't want to be with me anymore. I was almost out of life and yet I still fucking loved her. I knew it will take time for my browser history to forget her, for my keyboard to stop spelling out her name, for my mind to get purged of every dream, of every hope, of every feeling I tried to nurse back to my health.