Chapter 4.

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' Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.' Everything about that saying, altogether just seems wrong in my opinion, especially now, with being isolated into this deafening silence, every other unavoidable and hurtful word, swirling in mind.

Yes, the physical pain may heal, but the effect of a word spoken, is powerful enough to punch a gut in your stomach, to recoil back, and remain speechless for a very long time, just because of one word.

I don't know for how long I've been in here, but it feels like I've been in here forever. Losing my mind is not an option, so that's why I keep my mind occupied, by either laying on my side and facing the wall, or just sitting cross-legged, facing the corner of the wall.

This, right here, is the worst kind of torture, dealing with the mental aspect and doing all you can to hold onto reality, and sanity.

Alpha O'Connell definitely has upped things, I can just imagine the strongest of men, crumble under influence of having to face one's self, the silence and the room itself getting to them.

When Evan mentioned the white room, this surely never crossed my mind. It is an empty room with big white tiled walls, though the floor is carpeted. Bright, white lights give light into the room, until it is nothing but your personal torture, when you've remained here for a long time.

The alpha wants to break me, he wants me to be at his feet and be weak, he wants me to return back home never the same again. Call me crazy but his determination is admirable, he truly believes that I am like the others, but no, I've learnt to survive in my life and even now, I will.

Pain and being uncomfortable also plays a part in this, my body has started to heal on its own pace while I'm in here. My neck is just uncomfortable now, exhaustion weighs down on me for being uncomfortable, facing the same thing every time and overworking my mind.

I'm thirsty, hungry, and tired, and I have not been attended to, for all three. A small bucket sits at the corner of the room. Disgusting indeed, but I don't complain.

Finding a mate has never been top priority for me, because my main focus was getting through a day without Ronan bothering me, insulting me, or hurting me. Growing up, my mother would tell me all about mates, the beauty of the mate bond, the confidence one feels, standing by their mate's side, the comfort of being in their presence and even pleasure. She refrained from going deeper, about the last part, since I was young.

My mother was a dear, the most truthful, and I seem to have fallen into that trait. Feelings and emotions are what I've compressed for so long, only being able to release, when meditating and being in my own space, in my own time.

A few hours ago I must say, I was a bit restless and could not make sense of anything, hallucinations tried finding their way into my thoughts and they almost did, but by some miracle, I was able to push everything out of my mind and focus. Everything has become steady after that. I just learnt on how to do a counting method, counting in low tone, so as to hear my own voice.  I truly wish more than anything, to leave this place.

My body jerks at a sudden rumbling nose that sounds throughout the room, following with an echo. I gasp at the intrusion, covering my ears and doing all I can to block out the noise, but it's impossible.

Oh my gosh, this is pure torture, to not be in control of anything, where you try your best to be prepared when another element of surprise hits you so hard, that it is difficult to come back from it.

Different sounds echo in the room in a fast pace, I can't even get a grip on one. Nothing makes sense, it's all too fast. My eyes shut close and all I can do is breathe, tapping into my calm zone even if sounds are around me. What I'm about to do is dangerous, and may even cause serious damage, but if I want to survive this, I need to do anything possible.

I remove my hands from my ears and let my ears take in all the sounds. With the little concentration I can manage, I try to make out the change of sound, its pace, and volume.

" Breathe." The sound almost goes silent, a beeping sound echoing in the background.

" Listen." The sound starts up again, followed by loud drums and glass breaking.

"Count." I start counting under my breath, from one to ten. A number, right after a new sound comes.

" Tap." I tap my fingers on the floor when the mash of sounds, make an endless shrill.

I repeat the same method each time this starts up again, but cleverly they try to make it seem as if it's an ongoing thing. I don't know for how long this goes on, but when it suddenly stops, a sigh leaves past my lips and my body slumps in relief.

I need to keep my ears wide open and my body alert for any more surprises. I can't sleep after this, not that I've been able to. I've exhausted my eyes and I'm only able to close them, but never sleep.

Torture. Torture. Torture. I can't even determine when I'll be able to leave this room, my mind is exhausted.

A single click sound with an echo makes me flinch, where I expect another round of sounds to invade the room.

I hear a set of footsteps approaching from behind me, before they stop.

His scent soon invades my nose, and my body relaxes under it, accepting the good invasion in my nose.

" Get up." He orders.

I don't.

I can't.

" I said get up." He repeats.

Again, I don't move.

He growls in frustration for my non response.

" Fucking get up!" He demands in his alpha tone, and my breath hitches.

I release a breath before trying to get up. It is a struggle, but with all my strength I am able to do it. I stagger every now and then because of the sudden dizziness.

" Look at me!" He demands again.

What does he want to see? How much more harm he can add?

I trail my eyes up his middle, from his broad and wide chest, up until I connect my eyes to his. His eyes widen a stretch before his brows furrow.

I can't detect anything from him because I'm internally restless.

" Walk."

I can't, I'm too exhausted. If I move any more, I might just drop onto the floor.

" Didn't you bloody hear me? I said -------"

" Alpha, let me take over from here. " Travis.

I feel Travis walk over to stand close to me, before he can come any closer, the alpha growls in warning.

" She's capable of walking, let her walk."

" She's exhausted, she's been through enough. She needs rest." Travis says in an even tone.

Travis is walking on threaded ground here. He will get into trouble if he continues.

" Who are you to tell me -----------"

" I am your beta and friend, and I say enough. This is more than one can take, you've overdone it this time. An hour, three max for the enemy. She is not the enemy, never have been.

If you want to take it out on anyone, take it out on her stupid brother. He's the cause."

The alpha clenches his fists so tight, his knuckles grow white.

" Beta you are overstepping your line." He warns in a low tone.

" And I will take my punishment as you see fit, if it means protecting her then yes, I will take everything as a man. This, right here. " He points to me. " She is one of the purest women I know, a gem and a rare find. I will no longer stand by and watch her be tortured, for someone else's sins. No more." He closes the distance and when he reaches his hands to hold me, the alpha growls and I sway side to side, before my body weight takes over and I collapse, landing in a bath of sparks.

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To anyone who's read this book.

Tell me what you think. Comment. Vote and please tell me if I should continue.

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