Control

xxxi | bullet wounds

I RELEASED THE WEAPON FROM MY GRIP. My heart pounds inside my chest, every beat felt against my rib cage. The next few seconds seem to be happening in slow motion, the world around me slowing down as I witness what I've just done clearly. 

He doesn't even scream as he's hit, only looking down a few seconds after he's hit. He staggered back, one foot behind the other, and hit the pillar behind him. He brushed a hand against where the bullet entered his skin, right below his ribs. Crimson red stains his fingers. 

I think I want to throw up. Not just because of the blood but why there was blood in the first place. 

At the same time, something inside me snaps. A chain or rope or something inside of me ripped a layer of me away. For the first time in ages, I felt like I was in charge of my body. It felt like I could feel what wanted without having to cover up. For the first time in a while, I was me. 

And I couldn't believe what I've just done. 

He's staring at me, and I'm staring at him, a loss for words. Aidan's expression is unreadable, and he doesn't seem like he's in pain. It's in act, I'm sure it's an act. He can't just be able to feel nothing after that. 

And then the ends of his lips twist up, and he's... smiling? His eyes were inching closed. 

No... nonono this isn't it. This can't be it. "AIDAN!" I yelled, finding my voice. I didn't have to yell, but I did. I had to make sure it was me saying it, with my own voice, told by my own mind. It's been an eternity since I felt like this. I had to make sure it was me, all me. 

My feet move quickly and lead me beside him. His eyes were closed but he was still breathing... slowly. He had time. He still had time. Plus, he was an Evolutian, he can handle most injuries others wouldn't be able too. 

This wasn't going to kill him. It can't.

"Aidan... Aidan...." I nudge his side with the toe of my shoe. "Oh god, Aidan, please wake up. I know you aren't dead. Just let me see those stupid chocolate brown eyes of yours again... please."

He doesn't give much of a response, is fingers simply twitching. 

I get down on my knees next to him. Blood continues to ooze out of him, looking like spilled ink. "The last sense to go before someone dies is hearing. Please just let me know that you can hear me. Please... Please."

His eyes creak open, a small smile on his lips. My heart leaps and soon enough I'm on my feet again. Soon enough, we're thirteen again, yet the roles are reversed. I remember my first day out of my small, cage-like hospital room clearly, and one of the first interactions we had. I grabbed onto his arm like he did with me, but instead of dragging me to the nearest mirror, I had to drag him to the nearest doctor. 

Life was so much simpler before. 

"Lauren... stop." He struggles with his words, retracting his arm back to his side. His voice... dammit, I was so close to not hearing it again. Smooth and soft and gentle. "Everything hurts." He managed to get out. Keeping his eyes open didn't seem to be an easy task either. 

"That's why we need to take you so someone that can help you," I say quickly, reaching for his arm again. This time though, I first pull him into a sitting position, making his back lean against the pillar. My eyes graze over where he was injured. I want to throw up. "You're not going to die, okay? I'm not going to let you die."

"I... don't want... help... Lauren." 

I looked at him, stunned. "No... no... why wouldn't you want help? Why would you want to die? Aidan, you aren't going to die. You can get through this." I'm not going to let you.