Chapter Thirteen

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Devin bursts into my bedroom while I'm getting ready for school. I hurriedly try to pull my shirt over my head. I hate when my family barges into my room without knocking first. I nearly trip over a shoe on my floor in the process. All I hear is Devin chuckling, knowing that I'm struggling to get ready.

"Motherfuckers act like they cain't knock." I glare at him, once I get the shirt over my head.

"I was just coming in here to tell you we gotta leave soon. I gotta be at the school early for a football meeting." He states.

"So, you still coulda knocked." I laugh, rolling my eyes.

"Anyways, hurry up or you getting left." He says and walks out of my room.

I'm surprised he hasn't been acting funny. I know what happened over the weekend is a little weird, but I'm glad Devin is acting normal. Devin is overprotective—as a big brother should be—but he's so chill sometimes. I'm glad one of us can act like something never happened. I've been wondering if I should say anything to Fergie today. I sit with Ethan and Tamara at lunch, so there's no way of avoiding them. Not to mention, I have a class with Tamara. Neither of those people have texted me, so I don't know what's going on right now. Maybe they are waiting on me to make the first move. Everyone knows I suck at doing that.

The only downside of going to school early is not being able to go to class. The teachers are barely on time to open the door, nonetheless, being there early to open it for students. Sometimes I walk around the hallways whenever I come early, but I don't feel like doing that today. Instead, I go to the library and sit down at one of the tables in the back. To my luck—hence the sarcasm—I see Ethan at one of the computers. He's working on an essay. I can pretend like I don't see him, but I know he won't do the same. As soon as his eyes lock with mine, he logs out of the computer and makes his way over to me.

"I think we should talk." He says quietly, sitting down across from me.

I knew this was bound to happen sooner or later.

"Okay." I nod my head.

"So, this may be a little weird, but I'm just gonna come out and say it." He clasps his hands together. "I like you Tati, a lot—as in more than a friend. I don't know how it started or when, but I just really like you. And I'm finally saying this because I feel like I'd be ruining any chance I have with you if I don't. You're the one I wanna be with."

"I don't really know what to say." And I don't.

"I know it's a lot to take in. I just had to tell you." He frowns.

"How long?" I raise my eyebrows.

"About a year."

"Oh, wow." My eyes widen.

"Yeah, I know. A year's a long time." He nods his head.

"So the kiss, it really meant something?"

"Yeah, and I hate that it was while I had alcohol in my system. I imagined my first kiss with you a million times and it was never supposed to be like that." He says with a sad tone in his voice.

All of a sudden, I imagine Ethan as my boyfriend. We have always had chemistry and that's why we get along so well. We've been friends for so long; I know everything about him and what happened with his family. We could be very compatible, but I just don't see it happening. We have way too much history of friendship and I'd hate for it all to go down the drain because of his confession. Of course, he's a handsome young man and he has always been there for me. I don't want to risk losing our friendship over something like this, though. I can't take that step. I won't take that step.

"Can I have some time to think about this?" I ask.

"Yeah, of course." He says. "Like I said, I know it's a lot to take in. I saw you here sitting all pretty and I just had to say something."

"Why now?" I raise my eyebrows. "Out of all times, why now?"

"I have my reasons." He says.

But you're not going to list those reasons.

"Okay." I nod my head.

"Well, I'm gonna go meet up with my lab partner before class." He gives me a lopsided grin. I can see the sadness behind his eyes.

"Okay Ethan, see you later." I say.

"Okay." He says while standing up.

I watch him as he walks away and out of the library. That must've taken him guts to confess his feelings for me. I can't say that I'm super surprised; I guess a part of me has always had this inkling that he liked me. It's the way he goes about things when he's around me. The way he is so overprotective. The way he seems pissed off when Tamara and I fawn over boys. The way he stares at me a little bit too long when he thinks I'm not paying attention. I don't think that I've done anything to lead him on.

This isn't exactly how I imagined my day to start, but it does keep my mind off Fergie—just for a little bit. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to say to him, if I even say anything to him at all. My life has gotten so much more complicated over the past few days. I'd rather be stuffing my face and binge watching all my favorite television sitcoms. Now I'm stuck in boy drama. I'm totally into Fergie, but now Ethan has embedded the idea of us being together in my mind. Boys make everything so difficult. I honestly don't know what to do.

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