It's Only Logical | Big Bang Theory

The Quest Simulation

Mother. I had almost forgotten about her cheating... butt. Everyone else has left the apartment, - much to Sheldon's dismay as he had hoped to enjoy his new sailor cap a while longer without having to look at Leonard's "stupid, unshaven face" - leaving just me and mother.
"Why are you here?" I ask.
"Because I wanted to see you!" my mother replies, cautiously approaching me.
"Well I didn't want to see you!" I retort, feeling my throat tense as the feelings of anger and sadness threaten to spill over once more. I look at my mother who looks hurt. My heart aches for a moment. I never wanted to be mean to her.
"May I?" she asks, gesturing to the couch. I nod, taking a defeated seat at the arm of it. "I'm sorry," she then says. She's not looking at me. "I never meant for it to go this far. I just got lost in that feeling ..." she trails off.
"What feeling?" I ask. She sighs.
"That feeling of being carefree. Of being with someone without having to worry about a single damn thing." I assume she's talking about the worries that came with dad losing his job.
"Who is he?" I ask without even considering whether I want to know.
"An old colleague of mine. We met one day when I was at the store..." She seems like she doesn't want to go into too much detail.

For a while, silence.

Loosening a button on my mustard shirt, I try to look myself over in the tiny mirror Penny keeps hidden in one of the lockers at The Cheesecake Factory. Sighing, I leave to try to find her. I wonder how she'll do training me. She isn't known for her skills in waitressing, after all. Just yesterday, I was so excited about having gotten this job. Now, I feel none of that joy as thoughts of my mother and father keep my mind distracted from everything else. Mom is still back at the apartment. She slept on the couch last night after insisting that she wouldn't leave just yet. I guess I didn't want her to either. I keep wishing that mom realises she's made a big mistake, and that she'll go running back into dad's arms, and that he'll embrace her forgivingly. Does she think it was a mistake? Or is she simply sad to be found out? I don't think I'm ready to ask just yet.
"Excuse me, waitress?" a voice calls behind me, and it takes me a second to figure out that it's probably calling to me. Slightly nervous, I turn around. "Can you go over today's specials?" Mouth agape, I wonder what to tell the woman who, very expectantly and a little sternly, looks at me with the menu card in hand. God, that's a lot of dishes.
"I'm sorry, this is my first day, - first minute, actually - but I'll find someone else who can help you," I say, trying my very best to muster a smile. She looks a little displeased, so I hurry along on my quest to find Penny. Checking the restaurant, the bar, even the toilets, I fail to locate her. Desperate to go by unseen by the flood of customers in this little realm of cheesecake, I tiptoe along the walls, wishing I had a One Ring to make this pursuit easier.
"Waiter!" a voice sounds beside me. Dammit. "I'm ready to order,"
"Well, you see-"
"I'd like a Smokehouse B.B.Q. Burger, a Factory Chopped Salad, some Baked Potato Tots ..." AHH. How do I overcome this challenge? Frantic, I search my pockets and with a resounding 'AHA!', I pull out a pen, much like a sword drawn from its sheath. I really need a Lord of the Rings marathon soon.
"... some Chicken Pot Stickers, Crispy Crab Bites, aaand ... a Diet Coke." The gentleman finishes off, and I find myself panting as I write down his order. Chicken Pot Stickers. Or was it Tot Stickers? Hot Stickers? Satisfied enough, I smile at the gentleman and place my sword back in its sheath. Uh, pen. If this a quest, there must be a prize at the end. A treasure of some sort. And if there is a treasure, I sure as hell can beat these challenges.

After battling several dragons, scarcely avoiding hungry giants, and oddly enough having a chat with a wise old man, I open the doors to the kitchen. There. In front of me, Penny. In front of her, a steaming hot plate of nachos. At last. I must face the final boss.
"Penny!" I say triumphantly, to which she raises her gaze, looking at me oddly with nachos stuffed in her mouth. "I'm ready for you to train me," I say.
"Okay, sure, but let me just finish this plate of nachos," she says, hunched over a table top. Slowly shifting my gaze, I look at the mouth-watering plate of crispy, cheesy goodness in front of me. With a quick flick of my hand, I pull out my sword and point it at the plate.
"You, too, shall be defeated," I say with darkness in my voice. Here, at last, I stand before the last challenge keeping me from inevitable treasure. Electricity shooting from my eyes, I step closer, pen in hand, feeling fearful yet brave, until finally it's close enough for me to smell. Somewhere near, I feel the gaze of Penny resting on me, filled no doubt with peculiarity and scepticism. I sniff, and then I dig in.

Turns out a lot of other challenges would be facing me once Penny started training me. Or, attempting to at least. I must say I'm relieved that my first day of waitressing is over. Although I got a few tips, it didn't feel nearly as good as looking through a telescope, grasping at the vast universe. My feet are aching too. Did I forget to get that one lady another waiter to go over the specials?
"Don't you get tired doing that every day?" I ask Penny as we ascend the stairs.
"It pays the bills," she shrugs, "Well - it pays for new shoes," Shaking my head, I plop my key in the keyhole only to find that it's already unlocked. Inside, my mom is on the couch, a glass of wine beside her. And there, on the arm of the couch, hands folded and a smile shaped by the stars, is the one person who can make all the aches go away. There, on the arm of the couch, is treasure.