How To Get a Boyfriend ✓

boxes and first apologies

Step 9: To kiss and make up

After a huge fight with your boyfriend, make sure you

- Throw all his things away
- Apologize with a grand gesture
- Talk about Hello Kitty

Going home, I entered my room and just fell onto my bed, weeping. I didn't know why and I didn't know how to stop either.

After I had exhausted myself crying, I looked up to see a room so filled with Luke's things, it looked less like 'my' room and more like 'ours'.

In a rage, I threw all of his things on the floor, screaming. Leah came in then and watched as I threw everything that belonged to Luke on the floor. His t-shirts, his hoodies, his deodorant - everything. When I was done throwing things and I'd collapsed onto the floor, she helped calm me down and clean up. I think she put all his things in a box and stuffed them in the back of my closet, I don't know.

And I just sat there motionless. Tired.

I needed to sort my shit out.

Leah left me a glass of milk and gave me a comforting hug before she walked out of my room. She knew I needed some space, that I couldn't talk about it with her just yet.

I didn't even know I had a fear of commitment until today. Granted, I'd never had a relationship as serious as the one I had with Luke to ever find out, but apparently I had commitment issues.

Doing the only thing I do when I have a problem in life that I cannot get over, I called my mom.

My mom didn't live very far away, but I still didn't see her as often as I'd like to. But I'd only recently spent two weeks with her, so when I Skype called her so soon, she was automatically worried.

"What's wrong?" She asked me as she looked at my tear stricken face.

Breaking down again, I told her everything that had just happened.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked with a sob as I'd finished.

"Nothing we can't fix," she reassured me with a smile. "Now, why do you think you panicked so much?"

"I don't know!" I said, exasperated.

"You do know. You just need to think about it. Tell me the first thing that comes to your mind sweetheart."

"Um, I don't know mom. I just-" I started, trying to form words. "I guess I'm scared that if I move in with him, I'll have nothing to fall back on?"

"Fall back? What do you mean?"

"Um. I don't know. If we break up, it's going to be hard to move back here I guess? I would like some back up just in case."

"So you think you're going to break up?" She asked me, and I shook my head vehemently.

"No. Not if I have a say in it." I reassured her.

"Then?" She asked me.

"What if I don't get a say in it?" I asked her, my voice soft. My question surprised me and dimly, I realised what my issue was.

"Oh." She said, realisation dawning in her eyes. "You're scared he's going to leave, like your father did."

I nodded mutely, still looking at her.

Guess I had 'daddy issues'.

Good Lord.

"Well sweetie, you should know," she started. "Your father left because of his own problems. He was not a strong man and he couldn't see his family through. That doesn't mean every other man is the same. In fact, I'm confident that Luke isn't anything like your father. I can see it in his eyes, how much he loves you. He's been raised right, that boy. He'll stick with you, don't worry."