TJ's POV:
I anxiously waited for Amber to get home; I sat at my desk staring at the paper I found in Cyrus's locker and at my foot that was tapping at the leg of the table. I was hiding in my room away from my parents, my mom made dinner for once but I wasn't hungry. I also had numerous texts from Cyrus but I didn't bother to read them. I just needed Amber-she's the only person I can really talk to about this even though I don't agree with her on some things.
I ran down the stairs as soon as I heard the door open. "Hey Tj-" Amber starts before I pull her up to my room. She continues with
"-hi mom, dad" again as she passes the kitchen.
"I have a problem" I say in a lower voice after I shut her in the room with me. I had to make sure my parents wouldn't hear. "What's wrong?" She whispers. I hand her the paper that was sitting on the desk. She reads it as she pulls of her jacket and I see her confused expression turn into a happy one. "Ohmygod Tj! This is so good!" She says excitedly. "No this isn't a good thing Amber." her expression returns to a confused one. "I was gonna talk to him today. I was gonna tell him I liked him and everything" I pace around the room. "Why didn't you?" "Because I found this! Cyrus likes me!" I throw myself on the bed next to her, head in my hands. She stays quiet for a moment. "..Why is that a bad thing?" She finally asks me. "Cause, if I tell him I like him, he'll tell me he likes me back. And that means I won't be able to get over him" I explain. Her confused face doesn't change. "I want him out of my life so I don't get hurt again"
That's when her confused expression finally changes, to an angry one. "Tj, stop it. He's not a bad person" she says for the millionth time. "Stop saying that! You always say that but you don't know that! We both thought Mason was the best thing to happen to me but look where we are!" I argue back. Frustrated I slide to the floor against the door. "Tj what happened? At Christmas you said Cyrus wasn't like Mason but now you can't stop comparing them to each other" Amber stands in front of me. "I know Cyrus, he is a good person. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Not everyone you meet is going to be like Mason. Let him be a part of your life" she kneels down in front of me. Tears start to form in my eyes. As much as I didn't want to admit it, she was right. I know he's a good person, I just kept denying it. I haven't liked someone so much since Mason. And especially now that I knew Cyrus liked me back- I was scared.
Amber sat on the floor next to me. Silence fell upon us as we sat there for a couple minutes before Amber broke the silence again. "I've known Cyrus longer then you have. He's nothing like him. And I can't force you to let him into your life, but just know, he's crazy about you" her lips curl up into a subtle smile. "How do you even know that?"
"Well, if he was the one who crumbled up this paper-" she picks it up from the floor where I threw it "obviously he was frustrated. And look, he made a whole list of things he likes about you, and how he's afraid to lose you. Who else does that?" She hands it to me. "I screwed up big time" I mumble. "Why?" "I kinda of got mad at him today.. he doesn't know I have this" I hold up the paper. "Now I have to talk to him"
After another moment of silence she speaks up "What happened since Christmas? What made you change your mind about Cyrus?" She scoots closer to me. "I don't know, I haven't liked anyone as much as I liked Mason. Now I think I like Cyrus just as much, maybe even more." I wasn't sure how to feel about it. It was a good thing that I was finally moving on from Mason, but it sucked cause I learned that liking someone simply gives them the power to hurt you. And Mason hurt me bad, so liking Cyrus- it's terrifying.
She rubs my back supportively. "I'm happy for you. Teej" she smiles. "Are you gonna eat dinner?" And as if on cue, my stomach growled, loud enough that she could hear. "I'll bring you a plate" she stands up from the floor and exits the room to go find food. I throw myself on the bed, exhausted from all the emotions I just let out.
Now I'm just dreading tomorrow. I have to talk to Cyrus and explain to him why I was such a jerk.
I pick up my phone from where it was sitting on the chair and open up Cyrus' and I messages.
TJ what happened today?
What's wrong?
Please respond
Did I do something?
I'm sorry for whatever I did
At least tell me you're okay
TJ please
My heart ached at what he must be feeling right now. Not responding made me seem like more of a dick, why does he still care about me? I thought about how yo respond for a minute, but I decided to leave it vague
I'm okay. I'm sorry, I need to talk to you tomorrow
I almost chuck my phone across the room after I hit send- no going back now. Not long after I hear it vibrate again.
Cyrus replies: 💙
Suddenly I'm aware of the butterflies flying around in my stomach. Dammit what has this boy done to me.
