Tj's POV:
"Wha- How!?" I yell a little to loud, causing Andi and Cyrus to stop arguing and look at us. "I see you guys walk together most mornings, but I wasn't sure till I saw you guys practically kiss today" he explains. Cyrus and I quickly glance at each other, then I see Andi glaring at him. I feel my cheeks get warm. I know we've been dating for a month now but we haven't kissed yet.
I mean I want to, I just don't know when.
I wonder is Cyrus has had his first kiss yet.
"Uh, why didn't you say anything?" Cyrus asks him, ignoring Andi. "Like I said, I wasn't sure" he shrugs.
"Wait so you haven't told Buffy yet?" Andi returns our attention to her. "Not yet, but we're planning on it, today" Cyrus explains again.
"Well good luck, and I'm happy for you guys" Jonah pipes in. Cyrus and him exchange a smile.
"Yeah, it's good you finally told us" Marty adds. "Thanks guys" I tell them.
The remainder of the period returns to normal, with a couple questions coming mostly from Andi like
When did you know you were gay?
How did you know you were gay?
Is Cyrus your first boyfriend?
Who asked who out?
I tried to dodge answering questions about my past and might have fibbed a little. But that's okay, I'm not that close to Andi anyways.
Coming out to Cyrus's friends made me feel a tad less anxious about coming out to Buffy.
I know it seems like Buffy and I are on good terms— and we are —but I know she's still skeptical about me. She's one of Cyrus' closest friends and I want her to like me. I really am a different person, I'm not that guy who was insecure and bullied everyone for it.
The whole day, coming out to Buffy was in the back of my mind.
Even at practice, I couldn't focus.
Practice consists of games between the boys team and the girls team. Usually the score is pretty even, but now the boys team is losing severely.
"Kippen! What's wrong with you?" Coach yells from across the gym after the bell is stolen from me. I run over to him to explain myself "Sorry coach, I just have a lot in my mind at the moment" He places his hand on my shoulder "put that behind you for now, focus we have a game in a couple weeks!" I nod and turn back to the practice game that hadn't paused.
I glance at Cyrus, who was doing his homework as always on the bleachers.
As expected, we lost.
"I don't know what going on, but I'm expecting you to be better at next practice" Coach tells me. "Don't worry I will" I assure him. "Can you tell me what's going on?" He asks. He wasn't talking in the lowest volume. I glance over at Buffy who was staring at us, surely she can hear our conversation. She was only a couple feet away. "Uh not today, but don't worry about me, everything's gonna he fine" I say before running off to the boys locker room to avoid any more questions.
I get dressed quicker than usual, which became obvious to the other guys.
"What's the rush Kippen?" One of my teammates question. "I just got stuff to do" I respond. "Stuff?" Another one asks. "Yeah, don't worry about it" I say as I slip my shirt on. "Everything okay? You seemed out of it today" I pick up my book bag along with my duffel bag of clothing. "I'll do better next practice, sorry about today" I run out the locker room yelling a bye to everyone. I was afraid of their questions, I can't come out to them. If I tell them I'm gay I have no idea how they'll react. They're good people, they're my friends. But I can't let my guard down.
I told Cyrus beforehand to wait on the bleachers. I ran back out into the gym and he was sitting still sitting there. But on the lowest step of the bleacher this time."You ready to do this?" He asks. "I told Buffy to meet us back here she shouldn't be long" I sit next to him as we wait. He didn't say anything else but I could tell he was nervous as well, he was fidgeting with his fingers and cracking his knuckles. "Hey don't do that, you'll get arthritis when you're older" I nudge him. "Who says I already don't? I'm practically an 80 year old man at this point with my poor flexibility" he laughs. I laugh at him too. "Actually an 80 year old man might have more flexibility than you do" I say back. He nudges me back and we just stay there laughing for a bit.
It's going to be okay.
I'm going to be okay.
I feel my heart leap out of my chest when I hear the gym doors open and see a confused Buffy walk in. "What's going on? Why'd I have to meet you guys here?" She asks. I probably look like a deer in headlights. "Tj are you okay? You look pale" she tells me as she approaches us. She places her hand on my forehead, probably checking for fever but I pull away.
"Buffy." I start. I'm more terrified, but more confident this time if that makes any sense. I can't look vulnerable in front of Buffy. "Cyrus?" I ask, hoping he'd say something so I had time to collect my thoughts. "I can't do this for you Tj" he whispers, which was pointless because Buffy was literally 3 feet away and we were in an empty gym. "What are you talking about?" She looks at me. I just have to get this over with. She crosses her arms over her chest, she was becoming impatient. Which made me more nervous.
"Uh, I've been meaning to tell you. That um.. I'm gay" I almost whisper.
I avoided eye contact this whole time, but I look up to her after a couple seconds of not getting a response thinking she possibly didn't hear me. She was looking at Cyrus, then at me and back at him. Cyrus wasn't looking at her.
"It all makes sense now" she finally says. "That's why you've guys been closer.."
"And Tj is my boyfriend" Cyrus speaks up. "I'm sorry for lying to you"
"Cyrus what are you talking about?" I ask him confused.
"I noticed you guys hanging out a lot, I thought he liked you, so I asked if there was something I should know about" she tenses up a little. "Why would you lie to me Cyrus?" I notice her face soften when Cyrus puts his head in his hands. I'm not sure what to do, instead I don't say anything and rub his back supportively. "I didn't want to, but I just wasn't ready to tell you. I know you and Tj aren't that close, and-"
"That doesn't mean you shouldn't tell me. It's okay if you guys are together. I can't stop that, just as long as you're happy" she sits next to him on the bleacher.
We sit there for a minute in silence before Buffy talks to me "Tj, I know you and I have had our differences. But take care of him, I trust you will do me that one favor" I smile and nod at her. She accepted me, to be honest I expected her to throw a whole fit.
