absence - two bit

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pairing: two bit x reader

warning: none

summary: she's gone. and there's nothing he can do about it.

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It was the silence that woke him.

It wasn't like how it used to be; he didn't wake up to the smell of her rose perfume, or her luscious hair, or her morning breath that she swore was horrible but really wasn't. He didn't wake up to morning kisses, or her arms wrapped around his waist, or her head on his bare chest. And he didn't wake up to the smell of her favorite coffee, or toaster waffles, or the blueberry jam he hated but she loved.

Instead, he woke up to her absence.

Two Bit pushed his covers away from his body, running his hand through his messy hair. His eyes blink once, twice, trying to clear his mind of the nightmare he awoken from and the nightmare he had woken up to. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror hanging from his door. He felt disgusted, like he could throw up just looking at his reflection.

He was ashamed of himself. Maybe if he wasn't drinking all the time, she wouldn't have left him. Maybe if he had paid attention to her instead of going out to pull stupid antics with the gang. Maybe, just maybe, if he had told one less joke, made one less remark, she would still be here. Because this wasn't funny anymore. Two Bit Mathews, who found humor in everything, wasn't laughing anymore.

He stared at the only thing he had left of hers: the silver switchblade he had bought her for her 18th birthday. He'd bought it, not stolen it. It was too special to be something that he nicked from a store. He'd bought it in place of a promise ring, because they always liked to make fun of cliche couples who stuck to tradition. It was a joke that wasn't really a joke. Two Bit would never forget the laughter in her eyes when she saw that he had gotten her a "promise knife." Who does that? she had giggled, pretending not to like it when Two Bit knew that she absolutely loved it.

Two Bit flicked the switchblade open, turning it slowly in his hand. It sparkled in the sunlight pouring from his windows, reminding him of her eyes. He had always loved her eyes.

He sighed as he shoved it into the depths of his desk drawer, wanting only to forget about her and the pain he felt attached to her...but inside he knew that she would never leave his mind, for the thought of her was the only thing that could make him feel desperately happy and depressingly heartbroken at the same time.

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