the outsiders imagines

endure - sandy

pairing: sandy x sodapop

warnings: none

summary: sandy decided that this was her fate: endure. endure. endure.

---

when sandy saw the two lines on the pregnancy, her heart sank.

she knew what this meant...that she'd have to quit school. she'd have to leave tulsa, to avoid bringing any shame to her family. she'd have to be a mother, because there was no other choice. 

the first person sandy told was her older sister, sarah, who she trusted. sarah was the first to know when sandy and soda got together, the first to know about their first kiss, and the only person to know that they'd lost their virginities to each other. sarah was sandy's rock.

unfortunately, sandy quickly found herself in between a rock and a hard place. 

"sarah...i-i'm pregnant." sandy fiddled with the hem of her shirt. she had to force herself to look at sarah; her cheeks burned bright red with the shame she carried within her. 

"what?" sarah stood up from her chair and gaped at her sister. her eyes flickered down to sandy's stomach for just a second before meeting sandy's gaze. sarah swallowed the urge to slap her, to knock some sense into her although it was too late. "sandy, you know mom and dad are going to send you away."

"i know."

sarah sighed and shook her head, bringing her hand up to her cheek. she found herself speechless. sandy was a good girl with a bright future. sarah always imagined that her sister would be a nurse, or even a doctor someday. now, that was off the table. sarah closed her eyes, thinking, before speaking. "you need to tell sodapop that it's not his."

sandy's jaw dropped. "w-why?"

"are you seriously that dumb?" "you know that sodapop dropped out of school to work and support his brothers. you think that just because you decided to get knocked up, he'd leave? and  even if he chose to, is that fair to his brothers?"

"but..."

sandy's mind flashed to the hours after taking the pregnancy test. yes, she'd realized that her parents would send her away. but she'd imagined sodapop going with her. she imagined sodapop and her, climbing into a car and driving away from this dead end town. soda would work at a car repair shop or a gas station in florida, where her grandmother lived. they'd live together with her, until they saved up enough money to buy a house - a small cottage with a white picket fence like sandy had always dreamed of. they'd get married at a little church, and maybe her parents would even come see it. then maybe, they'd have another kid.  and live happily ever after together. but with sarah's words, that dream was being snatched away so fast, it made sandy's head spin. 

"sandy, you have to."

sandy shook her head vigorously, wiping tears away from her eyes. she looked at sarah, pleading, pleading for her to say something else, anything else. sandy could feel her throat closing up; she was desperately trying to think of a different solution but her thoughts were running circles. all she could think of was sodapop's eyes and her baby and the small cottage with the white picket fence and suddenly the house was on fire and sodapop was fading away and the baby was crying and her mind was screaming at her to breathe breathe breathe please breathe. 

tears were spilling out her eyes now, leaving trails on her cheeks. her bottom lip trembled as a wave of panic took over her body. "i can't do this without him. i'll suffer."

sarah scoffed. "that's what women do in this world, sandy. that's all they do: suffer. endure. deal with it, and don't forget to smile."

"i'll break his heart. i can't do that to him."

"his brothers need him. more than you do."

and sandy knew her sister was right. she knew that darry and ponyboy needed sodapop. there was no question about it. inside, sandy knew that if she really cared about sodapop, she'd let him go. she'd bear the shame of being pregnant, and of cheating on her boyfriend even though she'd stayed faithful to him. she'd bear the pain, because sodapop didn't need anymore pain in his life. she'd refuse to be a trap, a barrier preventing him from following his dreams and being with the people who needed him most. 

sandy decided that this was her fate: endure. endure. endure.