okayy i hate life... and i just concluded i rlly have to stop saying that. i mean i guess y'all already know that.
i rlly think this story isn't that interresting for you. but hey, i don't care.
okay but i'm gonna tell you guys 'bout my day. well it was terrible, i'm being ignored by the teachers ALL FREAKIN DAY. yk i get it if they hate me, i hate me too, but it's part of their job not to show that. so idrk what the fuck they where thinking. i thought like;" you see? i was right, i am just a fuck up." yk it's not nice to see prove that i was right. i know that sounds weird, but i don't like the fact that i'm such a damn bitch who isn't worth anything. i mean i just gotta accept that fact, and i did... but still i don't like to get prove that it's rlly true yk. okay i don't think people will understand this story if i'm gonna say any more 'bout it so i'll just do you all a favor and i just stop.
my therapist is getting mean, i know she means it good, but it doesn't feel like it. i'm in therapy for over a year now and it's literally only going worse (with me). well my therapist sees that it's getting too hard to handle. no joke... she said that if i won't be 'better' soon, she will let me get hospitalized in a house for people who are suffering the same. i don't know what it's called anymore. it'not like that would be bad or something, i mean i actually think it would be good for me, i mean i lost control... but i don't wanna be 'that'girl.
with "i lost control" i mean i lost the complete control of myself. you know you can be unpredictable for others... wel i'm unpredictable for myself. i'm really going out of my mind and i seriously don't know what i'm doing anymore.
my arm is hurting really bad, like REALLY bad. a few days ago i almost had to go to the emergency room because of what i did to myself... i never told anyone. you know i can handle so much, but this just hurts. this just hurts too bad. i can't handle this anymore.
i know my way to handle this is usally to make fun of it and to make fun of myself, but i don't think i can keep doing that. not now.
YOU ARE READING
cover
Randommy diary - depression - self harm - anxiety - disorders ***TRIGGER WARNING: INCLUDES SELF HARM PICS***
