hai people
so today began pretty nice i guess. i mean school whas really stressing, but today for one time i didn't fail on pretending i whas okay. but then i got home... yeah that's kinda where it went wrong i guess.
i came home and there the stress already started. i don't know what happened, but i had several anxiety attacks in like three or four hours... well you can tell me much, but thats not normal. or at least not for me. weird enough i only cut myself in the evening. i think i hit a muscle or something 'cause it really hurts and i can't use my arm on the usual way. i mean that i can't really make some movings with my arm 'cause my muscle won't allow it or 'cause it just hurts too much. it's really weird becuse even tho i really hurt myself too bad, i'm still not sorry. i'm literally not sorry for any cut that's on my arm... yeah i guess that is what my therapist meant with 'you lost control.'
i'm out of energy to whrite, tomorrow i'll apply a pic of my new cut and now i'll just watch a movie or something. 'cause as you maybe know, my sleepmedication doesn't work so ya...
bye now!
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Randommy diary - depression - self harm - anxiety - disorders ***TRIGGER WARNING: INCLUDES SELF HARM PICS***
