Worst Fanfictions On Wattpad

The Worst Once Upon A Time Fanfiction On Wattpad

Trust me, I never wanted to stumble across a small town in Maine called Storybrooke four years after leaving Neverland, only to come across my old boss, Peter Pan.

My name is Erin Casanova.

A couple years ago I was posing as a guy on Neverland, pretending to be a Lost Boy to make sure I didn't have to go back to my insane mother and horrible father. That's right, I got family problems. Don't we all?

So anyway, I was running once more from home, when I came across a thick forest I was sure I had come across before. But, that was of course insane. I had never been in upper Maine before. Eventually, I ran across this spray painted line, and couldn't believe what I was seeing.

A town.

A whole town that wasn't there a second ago just appeared. I could tell this was magic because I'm awesome like that, and I had enough magic in my life. Like seriously, I did not want to deal with this right now. I finished entering the town anyway.

Flipping my ugly golden blonde hair that went down to my butt and batting my silvery-violet eyes as I tapped a guy in a long black leather coat and short hair.

"Excuse me, but where I am I?" I asked, putting my hands on my size zero hips. I was wearing a Starbucks crop-top, gold and white shorts that almost (almost) showed my butt, and my white heels. God, I am such a peice of work. No wonder I got kicked out of Neverland. Somehow, though, I was totally caught up on the latest trends even though I should've missed like, a hundred years of my life being on Neverland.

The weirdeo in the long black coat turned around, grinning. He had a red vest, black pants, a silver necklace, and a hook for a hand. Hmm... who could he be?

"Storybrooke, mate," he replied. He looked like he was wearing red lipstick and eyeliner.

"OH MAH GODS UR SO HOTTTEEE," I sighed, melting into a puddle of plastic. Then this really jealous blonde chick with a gun came up.

"Uh... Killian... Who's this?" That was totally her boyfriend and she was like totally jealous. Killian realized his mistake and stuck his hook hand in his coat-thingy-jacket pocket.

"I'm Erin!" I smiled, waving my hand. The female dog in the red jacket scowled. She's totally a dumb blonde who tries to act cool.

"We better get you to the station so you can meet everyone." she said, "because it's not like we have a demonic teenager to deal with at the moment." Gee I wonder what she was talking about?

"Ok!" I chirped because I love going to police stations, "but let's fly." I grabbed the jealous blonde and pirate's hand and flew towards the shreifs office cuz, ya know, Peter taught me some of the stuff he knows.

"My names Emma Swan, in the savior of this town," Emma replied.

"And I be Captain Hook, ARG," the other guy said. I nodded as we made small talk while flying.

"I'm Erin, goddess of Cliches," I reply, setting us down on the ground by the office. Then Emma leads me there. We come to a small woman with black pixie cut hair, a woman in a red cloak, a woman in a black pantsuit, and a guy with bow and arrows.

"Who are you?!" The woman in the pantsuit asked me harshly. I snapped my fingers in a Z formation.

"Guuuuurl," I started.

"Regina," the jealous blonde began again.

"Swan, stay out of this," Regina snapped. The hook handed guy out his other hand (ya know, the one that wasn't a hook) on Emma's shoulder.

"Love, you might wanna stay out of this one." Then they started making out. Then Regina and the guy with bow and arrows started making out. It was just Snow, Ruby and I until David came on a magical white unicorn and began making out with Snow. Ruby and I shrugged.

"So..." I started awkwardly while everyone kissed, "great weather were having..."

"Yeah," Ruby replied, "great weather." Finally everyone came up for air.

"Oh mah god," Emma said suddenly, "I think I misplaced my Henry." Regina shook her head.

"Swan, hasn't anyone ever told you not to misplace your Henry?!"

"HAS ANYONE SEEN MY HENRY!" Emma screamed, "I THINK I MISPLACED HIM."

Archie ducked into the office. "Swan hasn't anyone told you-"

"YES SHUT UP I KNOW I SHOULDNT HAVE MISPLACED A HENRY!" She threw a textbook at him and he left.

*insert fluffy and stupid Captain Swan moment here*

"Maybe Peter took 'im?" The-Hook-Half-Of-Captain-Swan asked. Blondie Girl nodded. Evil Queenie started freaking out. Cricket just shrugged, as did the Charmings, and idk where RumbleBelle ended up.

"God, can you stop that?" RedWolf snapped, and I realized I had spoken outloud, "all these nicknames no one but the fandom uses are giving me a headache, it's like trying to solve a complicated logic problem." We all stared at her in horror.

"SHES NOT CLICHE I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A NON-CLICHE CHARACTER!" I yelled into a microphone that had magically apparated itself into my hand. Instantly two Lost Boy jumped out of a portal to Hogwarts, taking both of Ruby's arms and chucking her into a portal to the Anics, were she was greeted and frivolously welcomed by Cassandra, Jacob, Ezecial, Eve, and Jenkins. But that's not really important now.

"That was a close one," Snow shook her head, her voice whiny and high-pitched. She began randomly singing 'Wishing Song' and David chorused in with 'One Song'. Birds and chipmunks came in and settled down in her hair. Regina began ranting like all 'BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHSNOWRUINEDMAHLIFEBLAHBLAH'.

"I need a drink," Henry muttered.

"OH MAH GOD I FOUND MAH HENRY!" Emma yelled, hugging him. Henry squirmed away from her.

"Nu, I'm Regina's father Henry so let's have the author change me halfway through the story to this version since it messes with the readers head and has no idea what just happened."

"MUAHAHAHA WICKED ALWAYS WINS!" Zelena cackled, riding in on a broomstick from Oz because the author got lost in where the TV series was at.

"No, it's Pan never fails," Peter Pan said, coming through a shadow and shaking his head, "idiot." I gasped.

"Panny-Poo!" I cried. Peter smiled at me, hugging me.

"Hello, love of my life!" Peter and I made out as he launched into a speech about missing me and me changing his evil ways.

"Oh gag me, I cannot believe I just wrote that," a disembodied voice said.

"Me too. Pan is such a evil cutie, he would never be sappy," another said.

"More like gag ME! Hook is way better," a third one chimed in.

"Yes the handless wonder," the first said.

"Shut up Kat. Stop stealing Regina's lines."

"No! Jess, you and Nikki are the ones that wanted to be in the story!"

"Well I was expected a full appearance, not just my voice," the third, Jess, said.

"Same! I want Pan to see my bootiful self," Nikki agreed.

"You're giving me a headache. Besides, I did that last time. Let's go visit the Anics and make sure Ruby is okay," Kat decided. Suddenly the voices disappeared.

Then Zelena stabbed Robin Hood and was killed by Regina and the Charming-Mill-Jones-Gold family had Thanksgiving which ended horribly. THE END!