The 9th Member

Chapter 3 'Pushed to the Limits'

It's no secret that I love to work hard and put in the effort that our fans deserve, but there are times when I need to know enough is enough. Sometimes, I need to know my limits and when to call it quits.

I remember the very first time things got serious. To be honest I don't think I will ever forget it because of how scary it was.

It was during one of our first unveil concerts, and we were on stage performing District 9, Grrr and my pace right afterwards with no breaks in between.

We had already performed four songs before that with only one break in between them and the strain was definitely starting to get to me.

It was also well known that I was the member who struggled the most when it came to my fitness. It wasn't like I didn't work out or anything, it was more the fact that I just wasn't as fit as the boys since I was a woman.

I could feel myself beginning to slip as I continued to move into my position where I forced my body to keep dancing.

I mentally shook my head to attempt to push past the pain in hopes that I could just get through these two songs, so I could get back stage and sit down for at least a moment.

I forced myself to hold the position as the song ended and the lights dimmed down.

I suddenly saw white spots cloud my vision before finding myself on the floor with Felix and Woojin leaning over me.

"Cut the next song, go straight to intermission," I vaguely heard Chan's voice in the background.

No, I couldn't let them change the set list just because I was feeling 'a little' dizzy.

I winced as two pairs of hands suddenly rushed to pull me off the floor.

With help, I dragged my body off the stage and to a waiting room just off to the side where I was gently placed onto a couch.

I blinked away my dizziness before looking over to my right to see all the boys huddled around the couch, a couple of the boys were kneeling in front of me whilst the rest were stood up in a group.

They were all looking at me with worried and panicked expressions as a medic suddenly appeared behind them.

"I'm fine guys," I sighed as a fan suddenly was waved in front of my face.

"Does she need a water bottle?" An unfamiliar voice suddenly asked from somewhere around us.

I watch through blurry eyes as Hyunjin reached behind him and grabbed a water bottle from, who I'm guessing is, a stage help.

He passed the bottle to Chan who was in front of my head, giving him the chance to force me to drink.

"It's fine guys. Get back on stage," I told them, trying to sit up.

"We're not going anywhere Sky, and neither are you so lie back down please," Felix gently pushed me back onto the couch.

I sighed to myself just as our manager made his way over to us. "Boys, the intermission video is almost over.  What do you want to do? We can either cancel the rest of the show or Skylar can stay here and the rest of you can continue with you filling in her lines."

"I won't forgive you if you cancel the show. Keep going. I'll join you when I can," I sternly ordered.

The members all looked at each other before Chan turned to our manager. "Keep the show going, but we'll only go back on if someone stays with Skylar."

Chan wasn't usually the sort of person to throw around orders but when it came to the safety of members within the band, he was other first out of everyone to speak up.

Chan cares about us more than anything else and when something happens to anyone in Stray Kids, he is the first to freak out and try to do something about it.

"I assure you that I will have one of the stylist's watching over Skylar, but you guys need to get into position now since the video at its end," Our manager replied before beginning the usher all the boys away from me.

I gave him a light smile, grateful that he complied to my wishes. The last thing I wanted was to disappoint the fans just before I was feeling a little under the weather.

I ran a weak hand across my forehead just as our manager rushed out of the room to check up on everything whilst the boys began to perform 'Grrr.'

"Hello Skylar, how are you feeling?" I suddenly heard the voice of my stylist say.

"Really disappointed in myself if you want me to tell you the truth," I groaned, just as my stylish began to fan my face.

I smiled gratefully at her before slowly attempting to sit up again.

"Where are you going?" She questioned, kneeling in front of me.

"Well, I can't just sit here when I could be up on stage."

"Skylar, can I remind you that you just collapsed on stage. I think it would be wise for you to sit down for a minute," Chuyoung advised me.

"Chuyoung, I'm fine I just needed a minute to rest. I need to be on stage with the boys," I replied, getting to my feet.

I mentally shook away the slight dizziness clouding my vision before making my way over to the side wings. I snatched my microphone off the bench and clipped it to my face, ready to head up when the next song started.

I didn't care what the boys said. There was no way I was going to just sit around when the fans paid money to see ten of us, not nine.

I watched as the stage went back and the boys rushed into position for 'My Pace,' giving me the chance to join them.

I rushed up and the stairs and took my place next to Jeongin in the beginning circle.

"Unnie, what are you doing here?" The Maknae whispered, pulling his mic down as he did.

I winked at him before, bowing my head, waiting for the music to start.

I knew the boys were going to disapprove of this, but I didn't care. I couldn't let STAY's down.

I took a deep breath before waiting as the music began, and we all started dancing and singing.

I knew I shouldn't be performing in my condition, but. There are times in life where we have to do things that are hard, but that shouldn't mean we should just give up.

That is one thing I have learnt from being a k-idol. I have worked far too hard to be here right now. It would be stupid to just stop here and throw it all away.

I want to do the fans' justice, and I want to do myself justice.