Dear Pat

Letter 19

Dear Pat,

The exit plan was supposed to be quick and unnoticed. Ideal scenario. Then again, when has life been ideal?

I hefted my bagpack onto my shoulders and was on my way out when I bumped into the one person I really didn't want to bump into in the stairwell.

Ugh.

Tanmay was busy on his phone when he spotted me. He smiled and said, "Hey..." He then spotted my bag and asked, "Are you going somewhere?"

I nodded and said, "Hey...Yeah...My friend...Meghana, you remember?"

He nodded. I then continued, "She asked me to come over for the weekend. Just to chill for a bit. We don't know where they'll place us after this training, right?"

At that, he suddenly looked at me again. He then nodded and shrugged his bagpack off his shoulders. He unzipped the back pocket and pulled out an envelope. He handed it to me and said, "Here are tickets to my play. I would love it if you could come."

I smiled sadly and took it from him. It was probably all in my head but it felt so formal, Pat. I said, "I will try."

Then I looked up at him. There were so many thoughts roaring in my head. He was looking back at me. I wanted to tell him so many things. I wanted him to figure out somehow that I knew. I wanted to tell him to stop me. I wanted him to take my hand and pull me down the stairs for a cup of cutting chai. I wanted him to tell him in explicit words how I felt about him so that he knew what he meant to me before he made a choice. I'll say it, Pat. In that moment, I wanted him to say that it was me. I wanted him to be with me.

Instead, I just kept quiet. I then smiled, leaned forward and put my arms around him. His arms went around me instantly. I tried to put all those feelings into that embrace. I hugged him tight. He said, "I'll see you soon, right?" Sure, I heard him, but I felt his voice more, reverberating in that hug. It was the first time I had felt something like that. Another first...

I stayed there for a few more moments, regained my composure and stepped back. I nodded, put my hand up and touched his face lightly to say, "Bye."

I'll write more from Meghana's house, Pat.

All my love,

L.

P.S. I miss home.

Author's Note: So this chapter has been brewing in my head for a very long time. Almost since, Namrata made an appearance in my head. I hope I did justice to it. There's more left of course. I just need to put in thought to see how it takes shape. 

Until then, I wait to hear your comments. 

Much love,

S.