The Broken Hearts Club

The Geography Teacher

    Poems. Some say that it's our soul put into words. Poetry is an expression of the heart. A bunch of random words that have meaning to us, put in a random order that smoothly rolls off the tongue. You don't need to be good at it either, it all means the same. Look at Shakespeare and Dr Seuss, so very different, yet so very meaningful.
    "The more that you read, the more things you'll know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." - Dr Seuss
    That quote is often something I tell the kids that I teach. Now I am no English teacher but I am a Geography teacher. When I was a little girl, I often had the dream of going around the world. Visiting new places, tasting new tastes, breathing in new air. I spent my childhood reading about foreign countries and learning everything about the world. By the time I was 21 I was ready to leave Chicago, to explore what laid beyond what I grew up to know. But I was stumbled by a tall, blonde, and British man nearly 10 years older with the name of Jeremy. We had met at the airport actually, him just getting in as I was about to leave. My plane was delayed and he asked if I would have a drink. How could I refuse such a charming man? We stayed in the airport bar all night.
    Jeremy had entranced me, telling me about growing up in Europe, summers in Egypt, and studying in Tokyo. It was everything I had ever wanted. He was everything I ever wanted.
Jeremy came to the Chicago to take care of an ailing brother who had moved to the US some years back. He said that if I just waited a month or two then he'd take me back to England himself and take me on a tour of Europe. Being young and naive I thought he meant it, so I stayed and waited for him. Eventually a month turned into a year and a year into three years. I was already so deep in love that I didn't see what was happening. Jeremy was always promising that we would leave any day now.
    He proposed and soon enough we were married. I had taken up a job as an assistant to a law firm and he had gone to work in the city as an accountant. For awhile we had a good life, we were happy. Until one day, not too far into our marriage. I had a miscarriage. I had become depressed. And not too long after that, his ailing brother passed away. Jeremy was angry with life for taking away his family. I tried to be a loving and caring wife. But eventually he said he needed to go home. Alone.
    So he did, leaving me alone. Still feeling ill from losing our child. Jeremy had been gone for about two months, rarely calling or speaking to me. And once he returned he was colder and more harsh. Of course I understood. But eventually I found out about his first affair with an old lover back in England. I was broken and felt even more alone than ever. Somehow I forgave him after he would say "Karen, you are the one that truly love". That was a lie. He promised to take me to Germany to make up for what he did. That never happened. A year later we were pregnant again. We had been blessed with a gorgeous baby girl named Anastasia. She's possibly the best thing to ever happen to me. Some months later Jeremy was caught with another woman. After nights of screaming and throwing things, I told him I wanted to take Anastasia and leave Chicago and to be far away from this woman. He only argued that his work was here and that he needed to stay. Still being so deep in love with this man, I still stayed with him. His affair never ended. It went on for 2 years. Jeremy claimed that he loved both of us just too much to decide on one. He couldn't decide between his family and some side chick. That always made me so angry. I found out he had three other woman in his life and one of them was the woman in England. I couldn't do it anymore. I was tired of his lies and his cheating. I signed a divorce paper, left it on his desk, and took Anastasia away.
    He had taken away most of my life, he took away my dream of traveling.
    It's been three years since then and I still feel the shock of it. Still aching and crying. He never even reached out, he never called or wanted anything to do with our daughter. The last thing I heard of Jeremy was that he had moved to Canada and had taken up another wife. It was me who signed the divorce papers and yet it felt as if he was the one who left first.
    Ever since then it's just been me and Anastasia. Renting out my parent's basement like the loser I apparently am. I'm just barely able to get by. I eventually did quit the assistant job and took a job as a Geography teacher to a small school. Though I might not be able to travel, I'm able to talk about the world and all the countries I once had dreamed about.
    I'm still alone, it's difficult to even look at men sometimes. You never truly know what they are capable of. I have a few teacher friends, but they will never be able to fill that emptiness that Jeremy inflicted.
    Since I had joined three months ago, Poem Day was always my favorite day. I could write my feelings down in an emotional, artful way. Since I was already shy and not very talkative, this made it easier to express myself to the Club.
    After the meeting at the Club ended, I purposeful rushed out. I had a poem in mind and needed to get it written down as soon as I could.

    I was greeted by a small Chinese Crested dog clawing at my ankles. Possibly the ugliest dog in the world, yet one of the things that made me happiest. I leaned down and petted his floppy ears, "Hello Pauper."
    "Karen, is that you?" A voice echoed from the kitchen.
    "No dad, it's a murderer who likes to pet the dog before killing you," I sarcastically replied, walking into the kitchen. Him and mom were eating lunch, Anastasia sat happily in her seat, "Save any for me?"
    Mom pointed to a small pot of soup on the stove. I hungrily filled a bowl and slurped it up.              "Oh, sweetie by the way, I was on my morning stroll with Pauper and happened to come across Thomas," mom had gotten up and was now grabbing my shoulders, "He is still single!"
    I couldn't help but laugh, "Mom, I haven't spoken to Thomas since High School. Thirteen years ago."
    "I know, I know," she shushed me away, "but you both would be so cute together."
    "Carol, leave the girl alone." Dad said, I gave him a kiss on the cheek as I walked past him. I grabbed Anastasia and twirled the little red head around. She giggled playfully. She truly was the light of my life now.
    Since we had moved back in with my parents, it had been rather difficult. And not to mention embarrassing. Mom was always pushing men onto me and I constantly pushed them back. She didn't understand that I was still in pain, and it was so hard to tell her that. I was doing better, I was trying to show her that. By going to the Club and making friends, even had been looking at apartments.
    I sounded like such a teenager. It made me hate myself even more than I already did. Honestly what could I do, I wasted so much time. So much love. To only be hit in the face. Once I made it into the basement, I set Anastasia on the bed and I grabbed a pen and pad. Mumbling to myself, "I see... I see utter horror... I look and see utter horror in front of me..."