Chapter Twenty Four

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As Paper Bag Man was tossed into the makeshift cell by IAA agents with the rest of his friends, he screamed at them, words that a person could have easily understood had he finished a single one. He fell hard to the ground at Marcel's feet. His friend helped him up, but instead of showing any form of gratefulness, he rushed back to the cell doors just as they were being locked.

"What the fuck!" He cursed.

"Daithi!" Marcel called out. "Shut up and sit down."

Paper Bag Man growled as he dragged his feet to the nearest corner, put his back to the wall and slid down.

"Can ya' boy get a fuckin' pillow?" Scotty asked.

"I don't think they heard you." Anthony said.

"Can ya' boy get a fuckin' pillow!" Scotty said louder.

"That should do it. I also don't think we should be concerned with pillows at the moment. Anyone else notice how fucking cold it is in here?"

"I'm a little chilly." Early Bird said. 

"You know what's warm and soft?" Marcel asked.

"Nogla's mom's vagina?" Anthony said.

"Exactly!"

Paper Bag Man growled. 

"Get your hands off me, bitch!" A familiar voice echoed from down the hall. Shortly after, IAA agents dragging John and Smii7y to the cell appeared from around a corner. Smii7y was screaming. "I'll sue the fuck out of you! And don't even think about touching my dick!"

Once to the cell, an IAA agent took out a pair of keys and unlocked the door to throw Smii7y and John in. John pulled away and addressed the agents. 

"You can't fucking treat me like this." He began. "I'm not black, can't you fucking see. No offense, Marcel."

"A lot taken, bitch."

The two were forced into the cell and it was locked again.

"Hello, bitches!" Smii7y greeted. "Was anyone gonna call me and tell me you got caught?"

"We didn't get caught." Bat Owl said. "We respectfully let him capture us."

"We got caught." Anthony admitted. "He forced Scotty and Delirious to plan Uno and now we're sleeping here tonight."

"Rabid Raccoon!" Delirious screamed.

"Oh, excuse me." Anthony said. "Scotty and Rapey Raccoon."

Delirious joined Paper Bag Man in a growl.

"But that doesn't mean shit. How did you two get caught?"

"Smii7y." John said.

"No, not Smii7y!" Smii7y claimed. "Blame temptation!"

John began to run down the series of events that led them here, mocking Smii7y when the time was appropriate. "Hey, John? Bet I can bounce it off the wall and into that guy's neck. No, you can't, stop fucking around. Don't be a bitch, John! When in doubt, yeet! No one fucking says that anymore, bitch. Oh, John, did I not tell you? Yeet's makin' a comeback. Then he ran down the hill, blew our cover, and now we're here."

"John!" Smii7y said. "You're missing a very important part of the story there, bud. I. Made. The shot."

"Why are you still breathing?"

"Well, get comfortable." Craig said. "We're sleeping here tonight."

"It's so fucking cold, brother." Smii7y said. "John, touch me."

"What the f-"

"For warmth, John!"

"We get warm buddies?" Scotty asked. "Brock, come here, bitch." He wrapped his arms around Brock who was inches away.

"Gay..." Lui said. 

"It's not gay!" Scotty said. "It doesn't count if it's Brock."

"Why do people keep saying that?" Brock asked.

"It's okay, Brock." Scotty claimed. "Just relax your muscles." Brock pulled away as quickly as he could.

"Actually," he began, "I think I'm gonna be warm buddies with the wall."

"Fuck you, Brock. I hope you fucking freeze!"

Marcel, Scotty, and Craig occupied a corner on the far wall, and on the adjacent wall, Anthony, Smii7y, John, and Brock found positions that wouldn't result in too much back pain in the morning. Paper Bag Man stayed in his private corner and everyone dozed off.

Everyone, except for a certain owl and his mischievous raccoon friend.

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