What Should I Do? - LXC x JC fanfic

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Jiang Cheng felt as cold as the water in the lake. His tears are falling non-stop, streaming down his cheeks. Lan Xichen... he found his special someone. Someone who's as important as Lan Wangji to his (LXC) life... Nie Mingjue – his other sworn brother, is not as special as Jin Guangyao – Meng Yao before. Jin Guangyao helped Lan Xichen, Lan Xichen helped him back. The two of them became close, closer than ever and seemed not to leave each other's side – rumors circulating that the two might be lovers, and that was confirmed during the Guanyin Temple incident and Lan Xichen going into secluded cultivation. Them two... if Jin Guangyao didn't die, would the two of them became cultivation partners (married)? The thought... it just made Jiang Cheng's chest tighter he almost couldn't breathe because of the pain.

"Sect leader..." he heard his right-hand man call him. The next second and Jiang Cheng felt a blanket covered him.

Jiang Cheng sobbed and he turned to him, crying on his chest. He doesn't care if his right-hand man would look down on him, the pain he feels is greater than the shame he'd bear. However, his right-hand man rubbed his back, comforting him. He's holding him not too tight, just right closeness. Jiang Cheng is truly grateful to him. The man has been with him from the time he was rebuilding the YunmengJiang sect, up till now. "... I wonder if you could be my Jin Guangyao..." he muttered, his face buried on his right-hand man's chest. He's calm now.

His right-hand man just laughed, though. "Sect leader." He called and cleared his throat. His face went serious. "Young master Jin fell asleep. The GusuLan sect disciple Lan Sizhui brought young master Jin to his (JL) room." He told him. "The Yiling Patriarch is still recuperating. And..." he said, didn't continue when he saw Jiang Cheng fell asleep. He sighed, then carefully carried Jiang Cheng – princess-style. "As much as I want to, but I'm afraid sect leader Lan would kill me... sect leader." He said and sighed as he looked at Jiang Cheng's tear-filled sleeping face. Just how many nights had he seen his sect leader cried? Not only for his lost family, but also... for his lost love. He sighed as he walked along the bridge, the lotus floating around them. "Sect leader..." he called, then chuckled when Jiang Cheng just groaned and snuggled on his arms. "Please no more... if sect leader Lan would know I carried you like this..." he said, then sighed. He just smiled as he brought Jiang Cheng back to his (JC) room.

Morning.

Wei Wuxian grimaced when he saw Jiang Cheng's big frown at him. "Jiang Cheng..." he called.

Jiang Cheng crossed his arms. "If you have a suicidal tendency – ah, you have." He said. "Bring your husband along with you, and do it somewhere else – not on my territory." He said, his eyes narrowed.

Wei Wuxian forced a laugh and looked away, scratching the side of his face. "Sorry..." he said.

Jiang Cheng frowned. He looked at Lan Wangji silently sitting beside Wei Wuxian, his eyes never left his wife ever since. That serious look... he thought as Lan Xichen's face during the last sect leaders' conference overlapped Lan Wangji's face. He looked away, then caught Wei Wuxian's serious gaze on him. Jiang Cheng averted his gaze and just turned to face the door. "I'm leaving." He said and walked towards the door, not waiting for the two to answer.

Silence fell upon Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. "... Lan Zhan..." Wei Wuxian called.

"Mn. No need to say anything." Lan Wangji said and held Wei Wuxian's hand tight.

"But – " Wei Wuxian said.

Lan Wangji raised Wei Wuxian's hand and kissed the back of it. "Wei Ying... you don't need to say anything – " he told him and smiled at him.

Wei Wuxian felt an arrow stabbed his heart and his face went red seeing his husband's smile. "Lan Zhan..." he called. "... Jiang Cheng is in love with Zewu-jun..." he blurt out. Ah – he thought and stared at Lan Wangji, waiting for his husband's reaction.

As expected, Lan Wangji's eyes slowly went wide. "What?" he said.

Wei Wuxian nodded. "Yes, ah." He sighed.

But I thought he's in love with you. Lan Wangji thought, though didn't voice it out. The past years, he's been jealous of Jiang Cheng because Jiang Cheng is close with Wei Wuxian. "What do we do?" He asked instead.

"To Chifeng-zun and Lianfang-zun." Wei Wuxian said as Lan Wangji helped him down the bed. "We still have to check their condition, and see if they could end up like Wen Ning." He explained. "Lan Zhan, you and senior Lan decide on what to do to the two in behalf of Zewu-jun, since they are still sworn brothers – the Venerable Three Zuns even after death." He said.

Lan Wangji nodded. "Mn. We will." He said.

Wei Wuxian smiled and tiptoed to kiss his husband. Lan Wangji immediately kissed him back. After that scene, they went to Jiang Cheng and excused themselves, telling him of their plan. Jiang Cheng just agreed, his mind clearly on somewhere else. The married couple looked at each other, then silently left. Lan Xichen is invalid right now, and Jiang Cheng... is distracted right now so only Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian could handle the problem about the two new fierce corpses who were former sect leaders, ironically. They are planning to call Nie Huaisang, too, to meet his elder brother Nie Mingjue. With that, and they left for Gusu.

Jiang Cheng just silently sat on the bench, staring at the lotus lake before him. For now, he left Lan Xichen under his (JC) right-hand man's care, while he left Jin Ling on the care of Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi. He can't bear to make Jin Ling saw him (JC) in this state. Also, he can't bear to see Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen... he thought as he closed his eyes. He leaned his head to the pillar, and fell asleep, his mind is drifting to the past.

Who wouldn't fall for a man like Lan Xichen? He is loved by everybody – including him (JC), and of course Jin Guangyao. Handsome, talented, kind... you couldn't find someone like Lan Xichen. Jiang Cheng realized his feelings towards the man... then kept his distance. After all, just who is he? An orphaned child who lost all his family, even his home. He is all alone in life now, and even presumed dead by everybody. He... became a living ghost in just one nightmare. And so... he couldn't love Lan Xichen. He (JC) has nothing on his name now, and reduced to a mere nobody. He... has no right to love Lan Xichen, no permission to even like the guy and so... he could only watch him from afar. However, in this lifetime he experienced happiness – even if it's just short-lived.

Lan Xichen noticed him, cared for him and helped him resurrect the YunmengJiang sect. He gave him everything that he lost – a new family in the form of new disciples, a new home (reconstructed Lotus Pier), and a new sect (resurrected sect). These all, they just made him (JC) fall for him deeper. But, he knows he shouldn't, since Lan Xichen only does what he thinks is right and pities the weak. Yes... Lan Xichen just pities him. He empathized with him since Lan Xichen also lost his parents. However, Jiang Cheng can't help himself – he's in love with the guy. What he can only do, is to keep himself from nearing Lan Xichen more than he already did. Lan Xichen has Jin Guangyao – his sworn brother and best friend. Lan Xichen is deeply indebted to Jin Guangyao, but Jin Guangyao is also pretty and so, it's only a short time for Lan Xichen to fall for Jin Guangyao. This fact slapped him so hard, and totally made him decide to keep away from Lan Xichen, and hide his feelings deep in his heart. The nearer he is to the man, he more hurt he feels.

Like a moth attracted to the flame... he'll only hurt himself... and perish.

(A/N: sorry for the angst. My hands are just automatically moving. T^T)

To be continued.