Dirty Little Secrets (Book1) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Prologue-Asher

A/N: Hello, everyone!  Thank you for reading Dirty Little Secrets.  I will be updating this story every Wednesday before 6 p.m.  I hope you enjoy it and if you do let me know in the comments and remember to vote.  I appreciate every single one of you.  Please read these author's notes.  they will tell you if there is mature content in the chapters.  XXX Amanda  

Dedicated to my friends@NicoleDonovan7, Angela and Connie.  All of you keep me as sane as I'm going to be.

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The shrill ring of the phone laying on the wooden surface of the nightstand made me wince. Even before I picked up the cellphone, I knew it would be her name and face flashing across the front of the display. I groaned taking in her beautiful smile, green eyes shining out with a halo of blonde hair surrounding her face. Her name flashed across the screen...Ellis.

I gritted my teeth. Just her name used to light my soul. From the time I had met her in the seventh grade, my heart had been hers and only hers. Too bad she didn't feel the same damn way. I squeezed my denim blue eyes shut and tried to push away the pain that was threatening tears when I hadn't cried since my father's death.

The screen went black and panic that I would never see her or talk to her again lit in my chest, causing my heart to flutter like an erratic hummingbird but again, the display lit up and the song...Our song drifted through the room.

I tensed as I hit the talk button, "What?" I asked, the word tearing through my throat, leaving a burning trail of fire behind.

"Asher," her voice saying my name crushed me because it was ripe with an apology that was too late, "I'm sorry. You couldn't have believed this was forever. We've been together since the seventh grade."

My nostrils flared, "That's where you're wrong," I said, my voice harsh but I couldn't help being angry, "I did think this was forever. I fucking love you."

She was silent and though I usually would feel guilty, I didn't, "Are we done here?" I asked, abruptly not wanting to hear the words that were destroying me.

"I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean to sleep with Colby?" I asked, dark laughter twisting up from the depths of my soul, "You were my girlfriend and he was supposed to be my best friend. It seems you both would have thought of that before you decided to do this to me."

"It's not like that," she said but that statement only pissed me off further.

"Then, was this the first time?" I asked, my heart hoping for a no but my brain telling my heart it was stupid, "Or is it only not like that because I walked in on you?"

"No, this wasn't the first time," she whispered, her guilt sliding through the phone.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked, my body shaking in rage and pain.

"A year," she said and though I should have been relieved that she was telling me the truth I wasn't. All I could think of was all the times I had been incredibly stupid...Loving a girl who didn't love me.

"So, over that year you didn't think to tell me?" I asked, squeezing the phone so hard I was surprised it didn't break.

"I didn't want to hurt you," she whispered, "I still love you."

I scoffed, "Are you saying you want to be with me?"

Silence met me, "That's what I thought," I said, shaking my head, "I think this conversation is over."

I hit the end call button, putting the phone on silent and throwing my arm over my eyes. My heart fluttered because for eight damn years my life had been about Ellis. Everything she had wanted, I'd given her. There was a certain panic that came with being alone. It made me want to call her back. It made me want to beg. I shook my head, fighting the urge as I resolved to face the future with a heart that had been crushed to dust while the remnants of my soul whispered, Maybe she'll get over this. Maybe she will want you back.

The problem was I wasn't stupid enough to believe that if she did come back it would make it better because I had to face the fact, she had never loved me in the first place and because of her, I would never love anyone else again.