Play Date

3 Oopser.

"You're broke," Andy says.

Two years later, on April 15th, Paige and Riley's accountant, Andy, delivers the bad news.

"How broke?" asks Riley.

"At this rate," Andy says, punching the keys of an ancient calculator—the kind that prints its work on a roll of paper, "you'll hit absolute zero the middle of summer."

"How can that happen?" Paige wants to know. Andy scrolls the report on his oversized monitor, rattling off all the reasons as they appear on screen: Mortgage, ten thousand a month; Two car leases, twelve hundred each; Gardner, six hundred; Dining out, three thousand per month.

"You spent almost thirty grand on clothing last year," he scolds. Riley never met a rationalization he couldn't embrace.

"Business expenses," he says. Andy removes his glasses and puts on his 'dad' voice.

"I understand you need to project a certain image, but you've projected yourselves into the poorhouse."

"What about our savings?" Paige asks. Gone.

Retirement? Not unless they win the lotto. They haven't earned a dime in two years, and they've made no change to their lifestyle.

"I've been warning you about this," Andy reminds them.

"Starting this minute," Riley assures him, "we are starting austerity measures."

Paige adds that they are on their way to their weekly networking event.

"Hopefully there's no cover charge," Andy says.

Addicts gather in the basement of a non-denominational church for a Saturday morning meeting.

It's a dreary room with fluorescent light. Day-old bakery, a huge coffee urn, and a stack of paper cups populate a dirty folding table. Comfort eludes a gathering of tired, anxious addicts propped up in plastic chairs of questionable sturdiness.

"I'm Dave," Dave says, "and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Dave," the others reply. Dave continues his tale of woe.

"I've been sober for..." He pauses. "Well, actually, I'm pretty high right now." The others moan on his behalf.

In the wake of the ass-grab seen 'round the world, Jerry, Riley, and Paige were all booted out of the KidTime network. Paige complained to the executives that she did nothing wrong, but it was a well-known 'secret' that she and Riley engaged in spouse-swapping with Jerry and Laura. The KidTime board members didn't care until the Emmy incident shined a light on everyone and tarnished the KidTime brand. The executives also pointed out that Paige's 'no more fucking children' comment wasn't the point of view the producer of a kid's show should present to the world.

Laura's parents raised her in a strict religious environment. More worried about the fallout from her family than anything, she developed a case of moral amnesia, forgetting that she had willingly pursued sex outside her marriage. She wanted to put as much distance between the 'incident' and her family as possible. So she insisted Jerry go to rehab and attend weekly AA meetings.

No one is sure who first discovered that Jerry attended the meetings, but once word got out as to the when-and-where, the meetings experienced a sharp attendance growth spurt. Writers and producers who all would benefit from face time with Jerry (and each other) became devout attendees. Paige and Riley jumped on board, also, but Jerry avoided them, per his wife's demands.

On this Saturday Paige and Riley scan the room from the back row, but see no one they recognize. Over the last few months, they have noticed a gradual decline in attendance that appears to have become complete. There is not a single person in the room they know. Might as well get a drink.