be my mistake ~ matty healy

seven

    i woke up with a blistering pain in my head. the alarm blaring next to me made it pound as i turned it off. after rubbing my face, i sublty got up from the bed. my sheets were a mess, along with the whole room.

before heading to the loo, i peeked my head out the door, checking if matty was still deep in slumber. he was.

after taking a quick shower, i quickly blow dried my hair and got dressed into my clothes for work. as for matty, well, he comes and he goes when he wants. this reasoning for how he's lost many jobs, and how he even got kicked out of a private school.

after getting ready and leaving my hair down, i grabbed my coat, sunglasses, and put on a pair of heels. i treaded into the kitchen where i quickly chugged down a cup of tea and ate some toast. not much, but it'll do for the morning.

"matty, i gotta go. be back in a bit," i said gently to the man i love, who was half asleep, even though i shook him awake. he nodded his head lazily and plopped right back down, his messy curls falling everywhere. i smiled lightly before turning and leaving.

the hours passed as days. i dreaded every second of having to sit and look at a computer screen for continuous hours on end. i wanted to go home and get high with matty.

    all i've down at work is book a plane ticket and manage to get my head around what's happened. she's gone, and i wasn't there. what a shitty sister i am. i'm an even shittier person.

    one of the worst parts is that i can't talk to anybody. i have no one to tell this to. hell, the boys don't even know i have a sister.

    when i moved to manchester, i wanted a clean slate. i wanted to get away from everything. and i managed to do it until now. that even meant lying to every single person in my life.

    nobody knows about this shitty life i've had, about my family, about my past. and i planned on keeping it that way; out of sight, out of mind. but it's come back to bite me in the arse.

    to be truthful, i dread her funeral. i don't even think i could bring myself to look at her. she was my baby sister, i haven't seen her in years. and here i was, the only time i get to see her is at her funeral. how fucking awful.

    the plane is booked for 4 days. meaning, i have to compose an excuse to tell to my manager and the boys.

    in all honestly, i've no idea what i'm going to say. i cant afford losing any more people in my life due to my stupidity. i cant have anyone know the truth of how completely fucked up i am. and with all that's happened- i'm sure anybody would think that.

    a few minutes before my shift ends, i got up and head to my manager's office.

"hey andrew, can i talk to you for a second?" i inquired, leaning against the doorframe. he looked up from his computer and waved me in.

andrew was a lad in his late 40s. his wardrobe consisted of plaid suits and the oldest of leather shoes. his hair was always slicked to the side and his face was always framed with a pair of thick rimmed glasses.

"so, what do you need?" he asked as i sat down in front of his desk. "well, my mom is having a major surgery in her knees and she needs all the help. my dad passed a few years ago and i've no siblings, she really has nobody to look after her," i explained, tapping my leg.

he thought it over and peered at me. "how long is this going to presumably last?" he asked. "more than likely only 3 days. i have to take care of her while her aid gets back from her sisters wedding," i said. he nodded and approved of the trip.

one down. 4 more to go.