Sleepless

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BH POV

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BH POV

The ball was tomorrow night.

He couldn't stop thinking about her.

The way she fearlessly leapt through the flames, her (h/c) hair unkempt, a few buttons of her dress popped open, her (e/c) eyes ablaze...

The way she grabbed the rubble with her bare hands and threw it to side like some majestic warrior beast made his chest tight.

And then there was that... "thing" that happened in his office...

His cheeks turned bright red at the thought of what she did... and what he did... 
He grabbed a pillow and slammed it against his face.

BH: "I'm a fucking idiot..."

She was drowning his mind.  Everything about her, everything they'd been through together...

Nobody else could have made him feel this way.

No one ever had.

As Black Hat lied on his back, staring at the ceiling, listening to the clock tick, he felt...

Frightened...

He was facing an impossible decision.

He could choose to love Y/N with open arms, condemning her to a life forever spent with a monster and a villain such as him, or he could refuse her love and...

...possibly lose her forever.

And both options truly frightened him.

Two people.

Either way, one would end up getting hurt.

He knew that.

His entire life, he had chosen himself.

Everything he did, he did for himself.

Every person who entered his life was used and used only for his own gain...

This shouldn't be any different... should it?

For once in his life, he knew that someone could get hurt because of his actions, and for once in his life he actually gave a shit...

He couldn't let Y/N get hurt, not by anyone else, and certainly not by him. 

He had to let her go.

And it would hurt him.

But somehow, when he thought about her smile, her sense of humor, her bravery...

He was okay with that.

He was okay with hurting.

For her.

...

It was official.

He wasn't getting any sleep.

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