TeamFortress2's New Addition

Chapter Thirty-Five

It took you at the very least twenty minutes to get yourself together. Who cares if they talk to you? You don't need them. No, I don't want to think that way. It's not true, and I don't want to start believing that. Just, we need to get back to practicing for college. Maybe I'd want to go with them, so I have to be ready.

You unceremoniously plopped yourself into your chair, checking the time on the alarm clock sitting on your bedside table. It was about three o'clock. You rubbed your eyes once more, having to stop yourself from scratching them from the irritation.

Opening up your workbook, you were caught off guard by how difficult it was to understand the math, like you were slowly losing your grip. A flutter of panic shivered throughout your body. You shook most of it off before searching for the best thing to practice. It would probably be math, so you moved to the derivatives page.

It involved a new set of rules you hadn't seen before, and for some reason they just seemed harder to understand. You tried to flip to the back of the book to find examples, but you were met with little success. Okay. Maybe I can find videos online.

It was only when someone's hand knocked on your door that you realized hours had passed and you hadn't gotten anywhere. Oh fuck. What did I do? You didn't notice that you were just mindlessly attempting problems and getting them wrong. It was like you just gave up and went on autopilot. Ugh, what have I done? Why did I let myself waste my day on this? I'm such a fuck up. The knock sounded again, once again snapping you back into reality.

"I-It's open!" You called to the door and a Texan slipped inside, smiling slightly.

"Ah called ya for dinner, but ya didn't come to the table so I came to check on ya. Are ya ready?"

"Um," your voice cracked so you stopped short. Shit, I'm embarrassing myself, why do I do this? When you looked up, Engie was sitting on the edge on your bed next to you. He was leaned in slightly with his head cocked to the side slightly to meet your eyes. You looked up to him, frantically looking away from his gaze in an attempt to keep him from seeing your embarrassment. As if that helped. Why do these situations happen to me? I can't keep doing this! I just need him gone so I can learn my lesson and finish the math I have left before I get too tired!

"Darlin', you should know by now that I'm here for you ta speak to me. Come on, what's botherin' ya?" Engie asked, his voice soft and low giving off a calming feeling.

It helped, but you didn't know if you wanted to tell him what was really bothering you, how you were feeling like everything was slipping through your fingers and your attempts were too feeble to catch it. You couldn't bring yourself to make the words, so you just shook your head slowly. Engie sighed, leaning back and taking his hat off. He set a gloved hand on his forehead and sat in silence. This wasting time, it's awkward, and I have to get him out of here.

"I can't help ya unless you tell me what's wrong," Engie added. Maybe I don't want your help. I can take care of this myself. I'm supposed to be an adult.

"I'm sorry," you spoke softly, feeling guilty for wasting his time. Still, you had to get him to go.

"Well?"

"It's just math. I d-don't really know why I'm upset. I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you. It might just be hormones," you gave him your most believable laugh you could muster. It didn't seem like he was convinced, but he didn't press you and instead changed the subject:

"So, do ya want me to help with it?" His voice strained to sound more cheerful. I do, but I feel like I made you uncomfortable already. I can do this on my own.